


of split lips and cut throats

by badwolfbaes



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi is a Bad Teacher, Konoha politics, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 54,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24985324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfbaes/pseuds/badwolfbaes
Summary: Sakura knows the taste of failure and she never wants to know it again. But with an unrelenting voice in her head, an absentee sensei and a snake circling around her, will she be able to protect the ones she loves?AKA the one in which Zabuza heals faster then Kakashi and finds his target guarded by one fresh out of the academy genin.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Yamanaka Ino, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 292
Kudos: 1045





	1. Chapter 1

Sakura wasn’t sure when she’d started to notice that her sensei didn’t much care for her. It wasn’t personal, that much she could tell. Kakashi would die for her. But he’d do that for anyone in the village. 

Maybe it was their first proper training together when sensei let her off with a few katas before calling it a day while he ran the boys into the ground. Maybe it was during one of their endless D-ranks when he’d coddled Naruto and Sasuke’s complaints but looked at her with what she could only call polite detachment. Maybe it was yesterday. She had finally proved better then Sasuke and Naruto at something, chakra control, and Kakashi had turned her achievement into fuel for the boys’ rivalry. 

The kunoichi he had called her. Sakura has never felt shame at the title before but now it felt like a brand on her skin. Like being a shinobi was something she’d never be able to become. 

As Kakashi pats her head now, telling her to guard the bridge builder while the boys work on tree climbing, Sakura stamps down the hope building in her chest. She doubts sensei has come to believe in her overnight. 

She spends her first day guarding alone tensed up, never letting her kunai go. She secured the perimeter, counted and recounted the workers to make sure no assailant slipped in among them. Haruno Sakura was the top kunoichi of her year and she did everything she was supposed to do. But the hours stretched on and she watched the workers move boxes back and forth until Tazuna had declared the work day done. 

On the walk home, Sakura was forced to admit to herself that sensei had just needed her out of the way while the boys trained. It was a bitter pill to swallow. He didn’t expect any trouble while he healed. 

The bridge maker’s daughter greeted them warmly when the returned, already working on dinner. Sakura sat down quietly in the corner, a wave of loneliness washing over her as she watched the family talk. When was the last time she properly talked to anyone? Her own parents were always away on merchant trades, she’s lucky if they leave her a note. She fawned over Sasuke, yelled at Naruto and fought with Ino. Why did she do that? Sasuke would never return her feelings that was clear as day. Naruto could be annoying but she didn’t have to shut him down every time he spoke. And Ino… She had given up her best friend for a boy who didn’t care about them. Sakura’s cheeks burned at the thought though she didn’t know if it was from anger or guilt. 

Just as her thoughts began to spiral into the familiar pit of self-hatred, the boys and sensei entered the house. She eyed them as everyone took their seats around the table. Would it be weird if she suddenly acted friendly? Maybe she should start smaller. 

“Oh Kakashi-sensei did you want a report for the day?” She willed herself to smile at him when he looked across the table. He regarded her for a moment, not quite making eye-contact before eye-smiling back, just as fake as Sakura’s had been. 

“Maa maybe after dinner. You both look well.” In her head Sakura tried to dissect his words. Look underneath the underneath. She catalogued his bored tone, his gaze already sliding away from her and sighed. She knew a brush off when she saw one. If she couldn’t get her own sensei to talk to her what hope would she have with the boys?

In the end, she shouldn’t have even bothered. Naruto and Sasuke were too wrapped up in their competition to pay any attention to Sakura. They could’ve asked her for help. She could’ve offered. But when their bickering showed no sign of slowing, Sakura slipped away to bed. After the mission, she thought. I won’t be left out anymore. I’ll show them what a good teammate I can be. 

Kakashi never did ask for that report.

She woke up earlier then Tazuna the next morning to prepare herself for the day. To be a good teammate and get the boys’ respect, she had get stronger. If she kept doing what she had been doing the past month, they’d leave her in the dust. Only paying attention when they thought she needed protecting. She wanted to fight by their side, not watch from afar. 

When Tazuna was ready to head out, Sakura was geared up with a dozen kunai and a plan. When they reached the bridge, she completed the obligatory perimeter check before starting her warmups. The workers, who had largely ignored her yesterday, stared curiously as she worked through the basic Academy katas. Sakura gave them a shy wave and continued her workout. 

As her body fell into the familiar routine of exercise, she made the awful realization that she’d gotten weaker. A month of D-ranks straight had depleted any stamina she had from her pre-genin days. Her chakra reserve had grown a bit from her daily meditation but aside from that, she has made no improvements after her graduation. Sakura thought of Naruto’s endless chakra, his brawling-like taijutsu and Sasuke’s amazing ninjutsu and skill with blades. She couldn’t help but despair. How was she meant to keep up with them? 

She slapped her palms to her face to ground herself and inhaled deeply. There’s no use in moaning about the past. She’d start small and work her way up to where she should be by now. Stamina. That’s something manageable she could handle without a sensei overseeing her. 

She looked around, searching for a clear enough space for her to run while keeping an eye out for Tazuna. The bridge, however, was full of construction equipment and men working. As she thought of possible solutions her eyes drifted over the lake. An idea formed in her mind. She had seen sensei and that missing nin walking on water like it was solid ground. The tree walking principle could probably work here too. Plus she could work on her chakra control, reserves and stamina at the same time. 

“Tazuna-san” she said. “I’ll be doing some training on the shore but I’ll have a clear view of the bridge if anything happens.” The older man didn’t bother looking up as he waved her off. He probably came to the same conclusions she had that nothing would happen while Kakashi healed. 

Sakura quickly made her way off the bridge to the shoreline. She took a moment to wrap her hair up in a bun with one of the ribbons Ino had gifted her. It was her favourite one, a glossy deep red with petals stitched on. She should get Ino a souvenir while she was in Wave country. She added it to her mental list of things she needed to do to repair the relationships she’d ruined. 

She turned her attention back to the task at hand. She focused her chakra into the soles of her feet like she had with the tree and took a step on the water. Her foot held on the surface for a moment but sunk down as soon as she put some weight on it. She tried again and again with different amounts of chakra but got the same result each time. 

Sakura growled in frustration. She wasn’t used to being challenged when it came to chakra control. Why was this different? She thought back to how she climbed the tree and compared it to what she was trying to do now. To walk up she had to keep a constant level of chakra that let her stick to the surface. The same principal was failing her now. She contemplated a solution as she watched her reflection in the ripples of the water. Could she change the flow of her chakra to match the water?

Apparently she could. It took several more tries to get it but once she understood the theory, it was just a matter of practice. When she finally stood upright on the water she couldn’t help a little victory dance. She looked up and caught the eye of one of Tazuna’s workers. He gave her a smile and clapped for her. Sakura felt her insides warm. Praise wasn’t something she was used to. She shot him a thumbs up with a wide smile of her own and tentatively started a light jog on the water. At first it took all her concentration not to fall into the water but after a few laps, it was second nature. 

“Hey pinkie its quitting time!” Tazuna called down as the sun was beginning to set. It was good timing, Sakura could feel her chakra reserves running low and she quickly made her way back to shore. 

The satisfying ache of her muscles kept a bounce in her steps as they walked home. Not even her soggy shoes and shorts could dampen her spirits. She hadn’t felt the effects of a good training session since the genin exams. And she had done it by herself. 

Her good mood lasted right into dinner when the boys came crashing in looking as tired as Sakura felt. They dug into the meal unceremoniously, not even taking the time for their usual arguing. Tazuna and his daughter kept up the small talk, occasionally throwing a question to sensei and Sakura to include them. 

“Pinkie I gotta tell you that thing you did was the craziest sight some of the boys ever saw.” Tazuna said. “I had to yell at them to get back to work, they couldn’t stop watching.” 

Sakura suppressed her grin. “Oh yeah I saw one of them. He cheered for me.” Tazuna laughed. 

“Komatsu’s a good kid. Don’t think he’s ever seen a real shinobi before.” 

Kakashi looked between Sakura and Tazuna. “Maa, don’t keep us in suspense now Sakura. What made them so excited?” Sakura couldn’t explain the sudden apprehension that came over her. She didn’t want to tell sensei about her accomplishments and she didn’t know why. 

Before she could brush the whole thing off, Tazuna had already starting gesturing widely. “She walked on water, she did! Running around like it was a field. I wouldn’t have believed it myself if I hadn’t seen you and that assassin do the same thing.” He said before elbowing his daughter. “Didn’t I always say shinobi are a different breed?” 

“I thought you always said they were no better then civilians?” Tsunami teased. Tazuna spluttered and tried to backtrack but Kakashi’s gaze never left Sakura’s face. 

“When did you learn to waterwalk?” He asked. Gone was the forced cheerfulness and lazy front he put on. Sakura looked down at her bowl of rice, feeling like a scolded child. 

“Today.” 

“By yourself?” 

“Yes, sensei.” The entire table was quiet for a long moment before Naruto broke the silence. 

“Sakura, you can walk on water? Thats so cool! I’m gonna learn that next. You watch me do it ttebayo!” For once, Sakura was glad for Naruto’s inability to pick up social cues. She could feel Sasuke’s dark stare burn into the side of her head, no doubt mad that she had beaten him at something once again. Sensei had still not said a word and Sakura was not about to risk a glance at him. She still felt like she had to explain herself. 

“I wasn’t going to hurt myself or anything. I practiced in the shallows until I got it right.” She said. “It wasn’t hard once I figured out the chakra output had to be constantly adjusted to properly stick to the water.” She really hadn’t meant to say that. Her parents used to do the same thing Kakashi was doing now. Staying quiet so she spilled more then she wanted to and got in even more trouble for it. 

“Well good job Sakura. You did good.” She looked up to see her sensei’s eye crinkled in a smile she doubted was genuine. With that, he forced the conversation to a different topic and she was promptly forgotten about. Naruto, after learning she had been getting ahead in training, set out into the night to tree climb. Sasuke chased after him and ignored Sakura when she yelled at them to be back by midnight. 

Tazuna’s family eventually shuffled off to bed and then it was just sensei and Sakura left. He was sat on the floor with his hurt leg stretched out in front of him and had pulled out his well worn copy of Icha Icha. Sakura was unrolling her bedroll when he spoke up. 

“Sakura can you tell me what our mission objective is?” He asked. She looked over at him but his attention was still firmly on the book. 

“To keep Tazuna-san safe?” 

“Thats right.” He languidly flipped a page. “I know guard duty isn’t the most exciting mission but make sure you do your job tomorrow, okay?” Sakura felt a singing behind her eyes but willed herself not to cry. 

“I did do my job! I secured the perimeter and made sure everyone was who they said they were and…and…” 

“And you left your client’s side.” Kakashi finished for her. “If anything had happened while you were gone, you would have been stripped of your rank. Do you understand?” He was finally looking at her, his steely gaze locked onto her. What did he see, she wondered. 

“Yes.” She forced out. “I understand.” He nodded, satisfied with her answer and continued reading his book. Sakura made her bed on autopilot before laying down stiff as a board. It was only after the boys stumbled back into the house, after their breathing evened out, after the quiet settled around her like a thick blanket that she let her tears fall. 

Her whole life, people have called her a crybaby. And it was true. Sakura was quick to cry but what no one ever understood was that they were not tears of sadness. The frustration and anger would boil and burn inside her and the only way to get the corrosive feelings out was to cry. People should look past her wet eyes and sniffling nose. If they looked deeper they’d see how her face was streaked like war paint and tremble before her.

She would make them learn to fear her tears.

She must have drifted off to sleep eventually because the next thing she knew, Naruto was in her face yelling about breakfast. Tazuna mumbled something about getting a late start so he rushed them out the door as soon as Sakura was done her meal. She barely had time to grab her weapons pouch before they left. 

To her surprise, when they arrived at the bridge, some of the workers warmly greeted Sakura. She was starting to get familiar with all of them and bowed her greeting back. She recognized the one who cheered for her yesterday, Komatsu as he walked up to her. Now that he was close, she could see that he wasn’t much older then her. Only a few inches taller with shaggy brown hair he had pulled back with a hair tie. His eyes fascinated Sakura. They were the lightest shade of brown she’d ever seen. 

“Hey good morning shinobi-san.” He said. “Another day of guarding the geezer?” 

Sakura snorted as Tazuna reached up and tried to put Komatsu in a headlock. “Could a geezer do this, huh?” Komatsu twirled out of his reach and instead heaved Tazuna onto his shoulder. 

“Shinobi-san pardon me while put the old man down for his nap. He’s not as spry as he used to be.” 

Sakura couldn’t hold in her laugh as Tazuna uselessly flailed while Komatsu walked around to talk to the other workers. She took the time to walk the perimeter, impressed by how much of the bridge had been built in the three days she’s been coming. Once done she found Tazuna yelling at the men to get a move on. The fond head shaking and eyerolls told her they didn’t take the threats seriously but they did have a deep respect for the bridgemaker. 

After Kakashi’s scolding, Sakura pondered on how she could keep up her training while staying close to Tazuna. The only thing she could come up with was practicing her aim. So she got to work asking some of the workers for materials. With some borrowed wood planks and paint, she had made herself a target she was kinda proud of. 

She was a bit out of practice but Sakura’s aim had always been impeccable. As time passed she increased the difficulty of her throws. Two kunais hitting different targets at different distances, Ricocheting the kunai off the stone floor into the bullseye, backflipping and throwing the blade while she was upside down. Sakura would never admit that last one had been to impress Komatsu, who she noticed was watching his mouth agape. At lunch time he all but ran over to her. 

“Ok how did you do any of that that was insane!” He said. A few of the other men walked closer but took take not to crowd her. 

“Its no big deal.” Sakura said, idly kicking a rock. “You should see my teammate. He makes me look like a baby holding a knife.” 

“I highly doubt that shinobi-san you were so cool flipping around and then the kunai went whoosh and hit it dead centre” His warm eyes were brimming with excitement. “Will you teach me how to do that?” 

“Sure if you’d like. My name is Sakura by the way, Komatsu-san.” She held out her hand. He took it in both of his and shook it fervently. The next hour passed by with Sakura showing Komatsu and a few of the other workers the basics of kunai throwing. A few got the hang of it easily. Komatsu made up for his many missed throws with lots of enthusiasm and loud laughter. 

After that, the workers lost any lingering hesitations and Sakura was accepted into their companionship. She learned that Norio-san was originally from Fire country but married a Kiri citizen and moved for him. Yoshinori-san is the eldest of seven so he finds work wherever he can. He asks if Sakura could help him write a letter to send home. On and on, each man having a unique story yet they all share the same point of needing money in these hard times. 

Sakura listened eagerly and told them about Konoha, the smell of wood in the hot summer air, never being far from the cool shade of the trees. The relationship between shinobi and civilians that was needed during peacetimes. Sitting there painting a picture of her home for them Sakura felt homesick for the first time. 

Eventually Tazuna had to play the mean old boss and tell everyone to get back to their work though she saw a small smile on his face. Komatsu ruffled her hair “Tell me more stories when we’re done for the day, Sakura-chan.” She nodded and off everyone went to their respective work stations. 

It was as she was twirling her kunai around her finger that she noticed the fog. She would have wrote it off as natural if it wasn’t for how quickly it rolled in. One moment she could see clear to the opposite side of the bridge. The next she could only make out Tazuna who stood right next to her. Dread crept deep into her bones as she remembered how that missing-nin from last week had manipulated fog in much the same way. He was here. How? Kakashi said he needed at least another day of rest before coming to the bridge to help her. How had he recovered so fast? 

“Tazuna-san get behind me!” No sooner had she wedged him in-between a wall of boxes and herself did Sakura start to hear the screams. They echoed and bounced from all directions and she couldn’t tell where the attackers were coming. And she knew it was more than one. There had to be. Multiple screams were happening in tandem. She focused a bit of chakra into her ears and winced at the sudden clarity of noise. She could hear flesh being sliced open which confirmed that that man was here. But she also heard the tell-tale whizz of senbons flying through the air and hitting their targets. She didn’t hear any miss their mark. 

Sakura and Tazuna were sitting in the middle of the bridge and she suspected the two attackers were closing in on them, cutting off any exits. There was no escape. The only option Sakura had was to fight. With a shaky hand, she reached into her weapons pouch and grabbed her kunai and shuriken set. She worked furiously to attach wire to the shuriken and paper bombs to the kunai. She only had a dozen of each. She knew her short respite was over when a looming figure stepped through the fog. 

Momochi Zabuza was just as terrifying as he was the first time she saw him. He walked over to the pair, his strides long and slow. He had his huge sword heaved over one shoulder and its edge was coated with blood. His own torso was stained with it as well and Sakura gagged at the thick stench of iron in the air. 

The screaming came to an abrupt stop and a smaller figure came to stand next to Zabuza. They wore the same mask the hunter-nin that ‘killed’ Zabuza had. Distantly she recalled Kakashi talking about the likelihood that person had been Zabuza’s accomplice. The missing-nin’s gaze was trained above her head, tracking Tazuna like a predator. His eyes flicked down for a moment at Sakura, took in her quivering body and let out a snort. 

“Really? Is Hatake so confident in his runts he sent one alone as a guard?” He said. The fake hunter-nin made to move forward, a fist full of senbon at the ready when Zabuza put an arm out to stop them. “Nah I wanna see what the kid can do.” The hunter stood back obediently and the two waited for Sakura to make a move. 

Tazuna leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Run for it kid. No hard feelings. This is way above your pay grade.” Rage burned cold in her chest and stilled her nerves. Her grip on her kunais tightened and she settled into a battle stance. She was way out of her league in this fight. Sakura was only on this bridge, staring down her incoming death because of one old man’s lies and another man’s dismissal. It was an open secret in Konoha that civilian born shinobi were just cannon fodder but she had always thought she’d be the exception. She refused to be another meaningless death. 

Sakura tossed the first half of her shurikens, purposefully throwing wide off the mark to conceal the wires in the fog. Zabuza barely had to move to dodge them, letting them whiz past his head. He opened his mouth but before he could speak Sakura pulled back the wires. The shurikens looped back around to her wrapping around Zabuza as they did. She tightened them further and his arms were bound to his sides, his sword at an awkward angle. 

She wasted no time in sending two paper bombs his way, her aim centred on his chest. Through a feat of raw strength Zabuza broke her hold on him, the wires digging into his flesh before snapping away. He raised his sword in time to block the kunais, the explosion rocking the entire bridge. For a moment all was silent as they rode the shockwaves. Zabuza chuckled and held up his cracked sword still smoking from the bombs. 

“Pretty bold, kid. But not good enough.” Sakura felt her face twist into a snarl as she bared her teeth. She was about to charge forward when she noticed the missing-nin’s sword. As she watched, it seemed to feed off the blood dripping down Zabuza’s arms. The cracks disappeared and soon the blade was gleaming and whole. Zabuza gave the sword an experimental swing and said, “Kubikiribocho, the Executioner’s blade. It takes iron from blood and can repair itself. It’s always good to know the name of the sword that killed you.” 

Using her distraction, Zabuza closed the distance between them with a burst of speed and reeled his arm back to swing his blade. Sakura raised her kunai and braced her body to block. But the blow never came. Zabuza had swung the blade over her head and cleanly beheaded Tazuna. His body crashed to the ground and when Sakura looked down, his blood was already pooling at her feet. 

She failed her mission. Now she’ll die protecting a corpse. In one fluid motion, Zabuza brought up his blade and rested Sakura’s neck in the half-circle edge. He pressed it hard enough she felt warm liquid roll down her throat. And still she stared into Zabuza’s eyes. She refused to cower, to blink, to surrender. They stood in that standoff for what felt like hours before Zabuza sighed and heaved Kubikiribocho onto his shoulder. 

“Killing you now ain’t any fun. ‘Sides, I don’t need the Copy-nin hounding after me. Find me when you can actually hold your own runt. Then we’ll have a real fight.” With that he sheathed his sword and turned to walk off the bridge. The masked person, who had been completely quiet and still during the fight fell into step with him. Sakura watched them until they were too far to see before she collapsed to the ground. She clutched her bleeding neck and racking sobs tore through her. 

_Weak._ A voice hissed in her head. _Pathetic what was that?_

The voice was familiar but had never held such contempt before. Inner, she used to call her. The only person she had talked to before Ino was her friend. Inner was everything Sakura wanted to be. Strong, fierce, loyal. She hadn’t heard Inner speak she had thought her an imaginary friend but now… 

_Now you obviously need me._ Inner said. _Things went to shit while I was gone._

Sakura’s bawlling had settle into silent tears as she steeled herself to take in the scene. With the fog gone, she had no trouble seeing all twenty corpses that lay in various states around her. She forced the rising bile back down as she stood on shaky legs. 

_Drag the bodies so they lay side by side. Its the least you could do after failing them so completely._

And so she set to work. The sun was setting as she pulled the final body into position. She was covered in blood and gore but she did her best to wipe her hands clean before closing everyone’s eyes. She choked on a sob when she reached Komatsu. The warm brown eyes she had admired so much now lifeless and dull. 

_He would have lived a happy life if you were a real shinobi. You did a few tricks and fooled them all into trusting you._

The truth cut her so deep that for a moment Sakura was sure she had an injury she hadn’t registered earlier. With all the composure she had left, she sunk to her knees in front of the bodies and clasped her hands in prayer. She stayed there unmoving even as the stone bridge cut her knees open. She spoke a prayer for every man before her and for their families. When she opened her eyes, the sun was gone and the land pitched into night. 

She doesn’t remember the walk to Tazuna’s home but she comes to as the glow from the windows catches her eyes. In the back of her mind, she wondered why no one was out looking for her but Inner dismissed the thought as soon as it formed. 

_What do you want, a search party? You’re lucky they even keep you around as is. Though they might kick you out now._ Inner said with no small amount of glee.

Sakura, bloodied and broken, opened the door and greeted her fate for the second time that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all this is my first fanfic ever! This concept wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote out at least a chapter. I don't think I'll continue but if anyone ends up reading this, maybe I will. 
> 
> Btw I love Kakashi with all my heart but that man should not have been in charge of children


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Suicidal thoughts. Self-harm. (No cutting but Sakura does deliberately let herself get hurt)

Whatever small talk had been occurring inside the small home ground to a halt when Sakura slide the door open. The three shinobi and Tazuna’s daughter, Tsunami were sat at the dinner table though the meal was clearly over. Sensei had his back to the door with Tsunami at the head of the table and the boys on either side. 

“Sakura-chan what took you so long? I finally got all the way up the tree and-” Naruto cut himself off as he took in the state of his teammate. Matted hair, tear-streaked face, cut throat and blood. Blood everywhere. So much she could taste iron as she swallowed the growing lump in her throat. His wide smile had morphed into a look of horror and even Sasuke couldn’t hide his alarm. 

“Wh-what happened Sakura-chan? Where’s old man Tazuna?” Naruto asked. 

“Dead.” She said. She didn’t dare look up at Tsunami, choosing to stare at her hands instead. 

_Another person you’ve failed._ Inner’s sneer echoed in the deep recesses of her mind. _How many does that bring us to?_

Too many. Her first real mission and she couldn’t have fucked up more if she’d tried. She could be dead she supposed. Though as the silence stretched on in the house, Sakura didn’t think that would be too bad. She couldn’t stop staring at her hands. Stained with the blood of people who needed her. 

_Weak. Weak weak weak WEAK WEAK._ Inner raged and Sakura held her breath as she felt the word pounded in her blood. Her heart quickened in time to the chant and she lost herself to the sound of her deep self hatred. Someone roughly grabbed her shoulders and her head automatically looked up. Sasuke’s stared back at her, face was set in determination. He loosened his hold on her. 

“Breathe.” He said softly. The rush of oxygen cleared her rapidly darken vision. Her first breaths came out irregular so Sasuke put her hand to his chest. “Match my breaths.” Eventually, her breathing evened out and she stepped back from Sasuke, embarrassed she had lost it so completely in front of him. In front of all of them. Kakashi spoke up then. 

“Tell us what happened.” 

“Zabuza. He and the hunter-nin from before killed everyone. I tried to fight him off. I hurt him a bit and broke his sword but it fixed itself and he killed Tazuna.” She finally willed herself to look at Tsunami more out of respect for her. “I’m so sorry.” She dropped into a deep bow. When she straightened, she expected Tsunami’s eyes to be full of hatred, rage. But instead she bowed her head back. 

“Thank you for doing your best to protect him.” 

_No one is that calm after their father died. She was expecting this. She knew you’d fail._

Kakashi gave his own small bow. “Konoha extends its sincerest condolences. The pay from this mission belongs to your family, you may do with it as you see fit.” Tsunami gave a jerky nod before excusing herself. From the corner of her eye, Sakura saw the grandson, Inari, eavesdropping from his room. His mother entered the room and he gave Sakura a dark glare before slamming the door behind them. She felt a bit of relief that someone, finally, was holding her accountable. 

“Pack your things. We’ve overstayed our welcome.” Sasuke and Naruto silently got to work, throwing Sakura looks when they thought she wasn’t paying attention. Soon enough they were ready to go. Kakashi gave a small knock on the bedroom to tell Tsunami they were leaving.

Inari threw the door open and let out a cry of pure rage. He ducked under Kakashi and charged straight at Sakura. She didn’t dodge. The fall knocked the air out of hair lungs. Inari punched her over and over, his bony fists driving into her face and chest. 

“Bring him back!” He screamed. “Why did he die it should’ve been you!” Sasuke and Naruto both grabbed onto the boy and lifted him from her. Sakura wished they hadn’t. She deserved to be the subject of his grief. 

“Inari enough.” Tsunami’s voice cut through her son’s ranting. All at once, he dropped limp in the boys’ arms like a puppet with its strings cut. He had gotten some good hits in, she thought as she ran her tongue over her bleeding lip. Tsunami helped Sakura up and ushered her to the back of the house. She soaked a rag and began washing the blood that had started to dry on her skin. Sakura tried to protest but Tsunami had a firm grip and continued her work. She pressed gently when she got to the wound on Sakura’s neck.

“We don’t have any first aid here so your sensei will have to patch you up.” Tsunami said. 

“Tsunami-san…” A million apologies bubbled inside her but none could convey the deep sorrow she felt. How do you apologize for making someone an orphan?

“Sakura, did my father tell you why he hired your team?” Sakura nodded. Tazuna had said a C-rank mission was all the village could afford. That man, Gato, was hoarding the wealth and sending the village into poverty. 

_He’s the real evil. I want to rip his heart out._ Inner said. Images of pulling a still beating heart out of a chest flooded her vision and for a moment, Sakura could swear she could feel it pumping in her hand. 

“My father and I knew that Gato wouldn’t stop until the bridge was gone. And for that to happen, my father had to be gone.” Tsunami gave her a sad smile. “We said our goodbyes awhile ago. You aren’t to blame for any of this, Sakura-chan.” 

She fell quiet then, giving one last pass with the rag over Sakura’s skin. Sakura knew her words would be of little comfort so instead she took Tsunami’s hands in hers and held them to her forehead. It was an old Fire country gesture she had seen her parents do at funerals. It symbolized shared grief, shared heartbreak. Tsunami must have recognized it. Sakura could hear her fighting back tears. 

They came back in soon after, Inari noticeably absent. Tsunami and Tazuna may have had an understanding but to Inari, she would always be the girl who got his grandfather killed. 

Before they left the house Sakura turned to Tsunami, “The bodies on the bridge…” 

“We’ll take care of them.” Sakura hoped they got to them soon. She couldn’t help imagining the lifeless corpses freezing in the cold night air. 

The group set up camp once they had made their way deep into the forest. The boys bedded down, exhaustion from their earlier training taking them into a deep slumber. Kakashi pulled her aside to finally dress and cover the cut on her neck. He didn’t ask about it and Sakura was glad for it. 

“Sensei what about Gato?” The man had been on her mind since her talk with Tsunami. 

“What about him?” 

“Shouldn’t we kill him? He’s the one destroying this village!” 

“Maa our mission was to guard Tazuna. We don’t have authorization for an assassination. We can’t go around killing anyone we don’t like.” He said in a bored tone. He finished her dressing and waved her off to bed without another word.

As she laid down to sleep, Sakura couldn’t stop picturing the bodies on the bridge. She lay completely still in her sleeping bag, trying to imitate how Komatsu, Yoshinori, Norio all the workers must be feeling. Her muscles ached. Her neck was so stiff she felt it could snap off. Yet she remained immobile, the first bit of penance for her failure. As the night passed on, Inner’s voice grew stronger taking the hate usually pointed inwards and directing it to the people around her.

_Why did Kakashi even let us on that bridge? He knew how weak you were and he sent you off with a smile. He hasn’t even really asked about what happened. He wanted you to die. A dead student would’ve been better then a traumatized one._

_Who even allowed this mission? A bit of research could’ve told them this is way above a C-rank. Was it sabotage? Maybe they wanted to kill the last Uchiha and you just got in the way._

_So Gato just gets to get away with everything? These people are dying and no one cares!_

On and on the angry, paranoid thoughts swirled in her head until she saw the first rays of dawn stretch over the horizon. They dismantled their camp and were on the move once more with sensei taking point, Sakura in the middle and Sasuke and Naruto bringing up the rear. 

An hour into the trip, Naruto jogged up to Sakura and walked next to her. She braced herself for his usual incessant talking or inappropriate comments but he stayed a silent presence. He caught her eye and beamed a bright smile her way. Her insides ached at the sight. She didn’t deserve this kindness. Sakura had been nothing but horrible to Naruto and here he was, trying to support her in her lowest moments. 

_You’ll get him killed too if you don’t get stronger._

Isn’t that what she had been trying to do anyway? Be stronger for her team so she wouldn’t drag them down with her? Now she knew the very real consequences if she didn’t shape up. She wanted to protect this boy’s smile. 

At some point, Sasuke had snuck up and walked at her other side, a step behind her and Naruto. He didn’t look at them but she noticed him keeping constant vigilance, guarding their backs. Sasuke, who had experienced such tremendous loss at such a young age. Who lived isolated, alone with only his hatred. Now, he deemed his teammates worth protecting the thought made Sakura want to cry. From shame, at how she treated him for years. From sadness, at the grief he was surrounded by. From hope that he may see her as a worthy teammate.

They continued their day of travel like that, communicating silently when needed. It was the first true moment of cohesion team 7 had ever had. Kakashi had them set up camp once more as the dark rolled in, the four of them huddled over a small fire. The trip had taken several days their first time around though that was due to the combination of travelling with a civilian and having to drag sensei’s unconscious body for the last half of the trip. So it wasn’t surprising when Kakashi told them they’d reach Konoha tomorrow evening.

After they’d eaten their dinner rations, Kakashi observed his team almost as if he could see the new bond emerging. He turned to her. “Sakura, how did you fight Zabuza?” 

Her body gave an involuntary flinch at the sudden question. The boys subtly shifted their positions with Naruto drawing closer to her and Sasuke angling his body between her and Kakashi. Sakura placed a hand on their knees and they drew back slightly. The interaction did not escape Kakashi’s notice. 

Sakura gave a rundown of her battle, describing the fog, her play with the wires and shuriken and finally cracking the Executioner’s blade. Kakashi raised an eyebrow when she said its full name though he said nothing of it. 

“You strategized well given you didn’t prep beforehand.” Sakura narrowed her eyes at the backhanded compliment. “Why didn’t you run with the client?” 

“Tazuna-san.” She said pointedly. He was pressing her buttons and she didn’t know why. “Wouldn’t have been able to run fast enough. And they blocked off our exits.”

“Well you know how to waterwalk now. You could have carried him over the lake.” 

“And fight Zabuza in his best element? Even you couldn’t beat him on water.” Sasuke interjected. 

“Yeah and Sakura-chan said that hunter was there too! They would’ve tracked Tazuna no matter where Sakura-chan hid him.” Naruto said. The show of support from her teammates filled her with such gratitude her head swam. When the teams were first formed she never imagined the three of them would get along. Hell, even a few days ago she would’ve thought them a lost cause. One of those teams that split up after making chuunin. Hearing them stand up for her now, Sakura made a decision. 

They were her teammates and if anyone tried to hurt them, Sakura would tear their throat out. In her mind, Inner hummed in agreement. 

“Hey how’d you come up with the wires thing?” Naruto tugged on her dress sleeve. She found herself softening at the endearing gesture.

“Oh. I thought about how you and Sasuke did that bait and switch thing with the fuma shuriken.” When they had fought Zabuza before, through her haze of terror, Sakura noticed how once he had dodged the projectile, Zabuza kept his focus in front of him. She explained her thought process to Naruto. 

“Wow I just thought he was dumb not looking behind him. You’re so smart for noticing that!” 

“Naruto, you and Sasuke came up with that plan by yourselves I just kinda copied you.” Beside her, Sasuke made a noise of disagreement. “It’s true.” She huffed. She didn’t want the credit for something her fear addled mind had come up with. 

“You did the best you could. Let’s leave it at that.” Kakashi, who had kept quiet during their exchange finally spoke up. 

“No.” Sakura snapped, her irritation with Kakashi reaching a tipping point.

_Ask him._ Inner said. _We have to know._

“Sensei why did you let me guard by myself?” The question was out in the open before Sakura realized. She hadn’t meant to act on what Inner had said but she couldn’t take it back now. He didn’t seem surprised at her question but Sasuke furrowed his brow and Naruto looked between his teammate and his sensei. 

“What do you mean, Sakura?” Kakashi said. “You were the only one available. That’s all.” A thousand questions whirled inside her but she held her tongue. Inner had no such reservations. 

_What kinda bullshit answer is that? Why didn’t he demand Tazuna stay home? Why didn’t he send for backup when an S-rank missing-nin showed up? Why teach us a random lesson in the middle of a mission?_

“There’s no way I could have saved them so why did you leave me there?” Was the question she settled on, struggling to keep her voice even. 

“Experience is what makes a shinobi Sakura. As for whether you could’ve saved the workers, well, we’ll never know now.” 

She stormed away from their circle, furiously unrolling her sleeping bag. The boys soon followed, the three of them laying side by side with Naruto in the middle. In the dark, silent night, Sakura let herself hate. Hate her sensei, hate Zabuza, hate Gato, hate herself. It filled her lungs and flowed through her veins. Distantly, she could hear Inner howl in a rage as strong as her own. 

“Hey Sakura-chan.” She turned in her sleeping back to face him. His blue eyes were intense when she met them. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m happy you’re okay.” It was the sincerity in his voice that broke her. A tidal wave of emotions welled up inside her and tears ran down the side of her face, soaking her pillow. 

“I don’t think I’m okay, Naruto. Everything hurts.” Naruto brought a hand up and offered his pinky to her. Sakura linked her own with his and squeezed tightly. 

“You know, Iruka-sensei told me it’s okay to not feel okay. ‘Cause the people around you will help you back up.” 

“Why are you being so nice?” She sniffed. “I was horrible to you.” Naruto paused, his mouth pouting as he thought of his answer. 

“Yeah that hurt when you were mean or yelling at me.” Sakura tried to take back her pinky, ashamed of how she’d treated him but Naruto held fast. “I wasn’t great either! I thought you only hung out with guys you like, like Sasuke-teme so I asked you out a bunch. But I still wanna be friends, ttebayo!”

The urge to protect him rose up within her once again and she nodded. “Friends.” The smile he gave her was the best thing she’d seen in a long time. They soon fell asleep, fingers still linked. 

The group was up and moving early the next morning, Sakura being pleased at Inner’s merciful silence. Maybe reconciling with Naruto had calmed her down. The hours passed by in much the same way they had yesterday. Team 7 held the same formation as they walked. This time however, Naruto was happy to chat away with Sakura occasionally making comments to show she was listening. She liked hearing how Naruto saw the world. Everyone in the village had always treated him terribly. You’d never know it hearing him talk. His love for Konoha was so great, a love they never earned from him. A love they didn’t deserve. 

Naruto was telling her about how he met Teuchi, the ramen shopkeeper, when Kakashi put a hand up to stop them. They immediately fell silent, instinctively watching their sensei for direction. 

_Don’t trust him for help. Trust me._ Inner spoke for the first time all day. Sakura didn’t understand what she meant until she felt her chakra send a pulse out. It was a base level sensory technique. All the academy students were taught it so the school would know which students would grow to be Sensor-nins. Sakura could never get the technique to work right. It wasn’t about chakra control it was an innate ability. How was it possible for Inner to be a Sensor type when she herself wasn’t? 

The feedback she got from her chakra overtook her vision as she saw what lied ahead. The sudden loss of sight had her waving her arm before someone gripped it and steadied her. Several people were coming down the road. Sakura could sense they had a carriage with them with one person inside. Thin wisps of chakra flowed off the people walking alongside the cart. A guarded envoy. 

Inner drew her chakra back and had it not been for the person, Sasuke she realized, holding on to her, Sakura would’ve collapsed. Kakashi was signalling them to move ahead but to be on guard. She was grateful Sasuke didn’t let go and helped her keep pace with the others. Her legs were shaking badly and her head felt like it had a spike rammed through it. She had the telltale signs of chakra exhaustion. She tried to probe Inner for answers as to how she did that but it seemed Inner was feeling her own form of exhaustion. 

The envoy passed them by peacefully outside of the tense regard the head guard and Kakashi shared. They wore no hitai ate which explained why the chakra Sakura had seen them give off was so little. Trained civilians were cheaper then shinobi so it was not an uncommon sight to see. When the carriage was out of sight, Sakura had regained enough strength to walk on her own though she had to pry Sasuke’s fingers off. 

“I’m okay now.” She said when he gave her a pointed glare. “Thank you.” He didn’t respond but he took her pack and slinged it over his shoulder when her breathing started to get heavy. Another act of kindness she didn’t deserve. 

They came upon the gates of Konoha as the sky was bathed in brilliant hues of orange and yellow. The two shinobi guarding the entrance clearly knew Kakashi as they let them in with a salute. Kakashi was already slipping into his lazy, perv front as he guided team 7 to the Hokage tower for a mission report. His nose was buried in his Icha Icha and his posture slouched. She would’ve been fooled had it not been for the side of Kakashi she had seen on this mission. 

He was someone who could smell weakness like a shark smelling blood. Who agitated her to see how she’d react. Who prioritized the mission over what was right. 

It was strange walking the streets of Konoha. The girl who had left the village and the one who came back were entirely different people. The egocentric part of her thought the village should have changed with her. But the market was bustling like always. Kids played in the parks. In the distance she could see a genin team chasing after a cat. 

She recognized her village, but did it recognize her?

Soon, team 7 stood before the Hokage tower and made their way up to the Sandaime Hokage’s office. From what they learned in the Academy, mission reports were usually written down and given to the mission assignment desk, a position held by mostly chuunins. Iruka-sensei had told them in rare cases when missions deviated greatly, the report was given orally to the Hokage. An S-rank nin showing up was probably more then enough grounds to report to the Sandaime. 

Sakura just hoped she wouldn’t have to speak. 

She had only met the Sandaime twice in her life. The first had been when she was a 5 years old. Her parents had to file the permits that allowed them to trade in allied countries. They brought her along to the meeting and the Sandaime had snuck her some candy. He asked if she knew what she wanted to be when she grew up and had ruffled her pink hair when she said a ninja. 

“I’m sure you’ll be the cleverest one of all.” Looking back, it was an odd choice of words. He didn’t say the best or strongest. Clever. That interaction was the reason why Sakura had prioritized her studies over her physical training. She wanted to make the Hokage proud. 

The next time she saw him was at the Academy graduation. All the genins stood in a line as they were handed their hitai ate by the Sandaime. Their young faces shone as bright as their new headbands. When he reached Sakura, his smile crinkled his weathered face and she couldn’t help but beam back. 

“You’ve grown up so quickly. Congratulations on graduating.” He handed her the hitai ate. Her thumb caressed the carved symbol of her village and she felt such pride. She’d done it. She was a ninja of the Hidden Leaf Village. 

“Sandaime-sama, I’m the top kunoichi of my year. I studied hard to be clever, like you told me” The Hokage blinked, staring blankly at her for a moment but recovered quickly. 

“Ah is that so? Well done.” He gave her a nod before moving on to Ino, who stood next to her in line. She heard him ask after Ino’s dad and how her mind-transfer jutsu was coming along. That was the moment Sakura realized her place in Konoha’s eyes, in the Hokage’s eyes. Just a civilian who flew above her station. She had no clan, no special eyes, no hidden technique. So she was no one to the village. 

Now, as team 7 walked into the spacious office, the resentment she didn’t know she still harboured for the Hokage bubbled to the surface. Kakashi led them in a low bow reserved only for the Hokage. As they rose back up, Naruto was bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“Ji-chan this mission was messed up, ttebayo. First there was there were these two guys who came out of a puddle and tried to kill Tazuna and then…” Naruto told the entire story, adding his own flare to some events but keeping everything truthful. He stumbled a bit when he got to her fight looking to her to see if she wanted to speak. But Sakura just held onto the back of his jumpsuit and nodded at him to continue. 

When he was done, the Hokage turned to Kakashi. “Is this all true Kakashi?” 

“Maa it was my own hubris, trying to fight Zabuza so close to water. By the time I woke the kids had brought us to the client’s house and well…” He trailed off with a shrug. The Sandaime nodded in understanding and turned his attention to her. 

“You fought Zabuza, Sakura-chan?” 

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” 

“Do you know why he didn’t kill you?” Sakura focused on her shoes, finding it too difficult to look in the eyes of a man who talked so easily of her death. 

“No, Hokage-sama. He didn’t say anything except he didn’t want Kakashi-sensei hunting him down.” That was a joke. The thought of her sensei would go through such lengths for her was laughable. 

“Well then. The funds shall be given to the client’s remaining family. You all will receive your deducted pay in due time. Is there anything?” The Hokage had pulled out his pipe and blew a puff of smoke downwards. The thick smell of tobacco was quickly filling up the room. Sakura decided it was now or never. She had to get justice for the men she’d failed. 

“Hokage-sama what about Gato?” The Sandaime looked at her with the same blank stare he’d given her all those weeks ago. 

“Yeah what about that guy? He was ruining everybody’s lives in that town ji-chan.” Naruto said. 

“If the townsfolk would like Konoha’s assistance with local thugs, they can hire our services.” 

“They’re dirt poor because of this mission’s pay though!” Sakura exclaimed. She refused to believe her village could be so unfeeling, so cold to these people’s suffering. 

“Then unfortunately, Konoha cannot interfere.” The Sandaime said, his gaze flickering to Kakashi, as though he might be able to stop his team from their line of questions. 

“You mean you won’t interfere.” Sasuke said, the first time he’d spoken since they’d stepped into the office. “You’re going to let them starve to death.” 

“The matter is closed. Dismissed.” With that a pair of masked guards appeared in front of them and politely, and firmly, pushed them out the door. Black rage overtook her so thoroughly it was as though it seeped from her very pores. Was this the home she was sworn to protect, that she nearly died for? A place that refused to answer the pleas of those in need simply because they couldn’t pay up? It made her want to throw up. Sensei came up behind her and grasped her shoulder tightly. 

“Let’s try not to leak any killing intent inside the Hokage tower, hmm?” She looked up at him confused and noticed more of those masked people around them. All of them looking at Sakura with their porcelain faces. The boys had crowded her in with their backs facing her. She couldn’t stop the, what did Kakashi say, killing intent from pouring out of her so she took both of their hands and led them out of the building. 

She was breathing hard and fast, barely filling up her lungs before the next breath came. It was worse then the panic attack she’d had at Tazuna’s. This one came with a wave of nausea and she barely made it to a nearby dirt patch before she threw up hot bile. 

_Gods, get it together._ Inner whispered for the first time all day. 

Sasuke had knelt in the dirt beside her. Wordlessly, he placed her hand on his chest. She was thankful she had something real, something solid to focus on as her heart struggled to accept the truths she had learned of her home. They stayed like that, syncing up their breathing as Sakura rode out her lingering emotions. When he was satisfied the panic attack had passed, Sasuke helped her to her feet. 

“Thank you Sasuke.” She said. “And for last time too. How did you know what to do?” 

He shrugged. “I used to get them.” She didn’t press for more. Kakashi and Naruto were waiting for them off to the side, Naruto a ball of nervous energy. She tried to give him a reassuring smile but it felt crooked and wrong. 

“Well then. That’s your first C-rank mission officially over with. A few points of order.” Sensei said. “All of you will be required to complete three sessions at the Yamanaka Mental Wellness Centre.” When he was met with no objections, Kakashi continued. 

“Until all of you have done the sessions, team 7 meetings will be on pause. That means no training.” At that Naruto and Sasuke shouted their discontent. 

“You can’t be serious-”

“Not even by my-” 

“Yes I am serious and no you can’t train without supervision. How about you all hit the library? I’m sure you’ll find something worthwhile there.” He eye-smiled, gave a small wave and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhh I hope you guys liked this! I genuinely thought this wouldn't get any attention so I started writing more after I got the first comment lmaoo. Please let me know what you think cause comments give me a huge dose of serotonin. 
> 
> Also I may or may not have made myself cry at the thought of Sakura and Naruto sleeping with their pinkies locked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I call this one "the kids get some much needed therapy."

Sakura could see the confusion on Naruto’s face. “What’s wrong?” She said.

“The Yamanaka what now? Never heard of it.” 

“Ino told me about it. It’s a therapy place specifically for shinobi.” 

“Therapy?” Naruto asked in a soft tone. It wasn’t a voice she’d ever heard from him before. When she realized why, she wanted to smack her forehead. Who in this village would take the time to explain what therapy and mental health was to the most hated kid around? She explained briefly that therapy was to make sure someone’s mind was okay the same way a hospital made sure their body was okay. That they weren’t depressed or anxious. 

_Or hearing voices._ Inner laughed. Her Inner self was a real dick. 

“So why does Kakashi-sensei want us to go now?” 

“‘Cause the mission went to shit.” Sasuke said. “It should’ve been an A-rank. Experienced, more powerful shinobi should’ve been there and instead it was us. They want to be sure none of quit.” His face darkened. The thought hadn’t occurred to her but she knew he was right. What use was a non-shinobi Uchiha to the village and Naruto was precious to the Sandaime. As for her, well…

 _They have to have a third to be a team._ Inner finished for her. Sakura didn’t mind. This was her team and no force in the Five Nations could make her give them up. 

Her and Sasuke’s brooding was interrupted with a loud growl coming from Naruto. He laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head before he lit up. 

“Sakura-chan we should get dinner! I haven’t had ramen is so long, ttebayo.” She thought of the empty home that awaited her and nodded, not wanting to be alone just yet. 

“Sure, Naruto.” She inclined her head towards Sasuke. “Wanna join?” He made a noncommittal sound and looked away. But when Naruto started to lead her to his favourite ramen shop, Sasuke was trailing behind them. 

It was the best meal she’d ever had and it was all thanks to her teammates. Naruto kept the conversation light and had Sakura laughing so hard she snorted up noodles as he told her of the pranks he used to pull. At some point Sasuke made a passing comment that there was no way Naruto could eat as much ramen as he claimed which ended in both of them furiously shovelling food in their mouth to see who was faster. Sakura and Sasuke also got in a bit of a politeness competition as both of them fought to pay for the meal. In the end, it was Naruto who suggested they simply split the bill. 

The three split up, bellies full and pockets a bit lighter with promises to meet up early the next day to head to the Wellness Centre together. Sakura was emotionally and physically spent, still feeling the effects of her panic attack and chakra exhaustion though the food was helping greatly. She came upon her home and sighed. The civilian district was quiet with a few people milling around on the streets. Her home was the only one with darkened windows despite the late hour. 

“I’m home.” She called out as she unlocked the door, more out of habit then because she expected a response. She didn’t bother turning on any lights as she walked upstairs straight to her room. 

_Poor little girl. Alone again._ Inner said as Sakura settled down on the bed. Her and Sakura had been on the same page when it came to their feelings for the boys. But now, something had provoked Inner’s wrath back onto Sakura. 

_I just don’t get why you think it’s okay to have so much fun. Or have you already forgotten?_

The memories from the battle overwhelmed her. She was back on the bridge. Around her laid the bodies of everyone she’d gotten killed. Everyone she’d failed to protect. Zabuza was there too. He dragged his sword behind, the screech of metal against stone ringing all around them. Sakura tried to run and stumbled over Tazuna’s body. She hit the ground hard and Tazuna’s dislodged head rolled to a stop next to her. 

Zabuza loomed over her now. He lifted his sword so it was level with her chest and pushed in. The agonizing pain rocked through her as she heard her own ribcage snap and break. She tried to cry out but as she went to scream, the cut in her throat ripped open and blood poured from the wound. Zabuza leaned in close as he pushed the blade further in and whispered in her ear. 

“Weak.” 

Sakura jolted up out of bed, soaked in sweat. She put her hands to her chest, fully expecting them to come away wet but felt nothing. She ran to the bathroom staring at her reflection. Her hair stuck to her face and her eyes held a wild, feral gleam to them. The bandages on her throat were red and wet. 

_Don’t get too comfortable._ Was the only thing Inner said before falling quiet. Sakura took some time to replace her ruined bandages with fresh ones, hands shaking the entire time. She knew, logically, that that was a flashback that had morphed into a nightmare and flashbacks were common after traumatic events. But it felt so real. All the details were so vivid it was as though she’d gone back to that fight. Except this time, Zabuza didn’t spare her. 

Sleep didn’t not come easily that night but exhaustion won out and the next thing she was aware of was the sun shining through her curtains. She made her way bleary eyed to her closet, searching for some fresh clothes. Buried underneath the numerous dresses, she finally found a long sleeved shirt and dark cargo pants with deep pockets. Her father had bought her the outfit months ago but Sakura had never worn it, preferring instead to look at feminine as possible. Now she appreciated the gift for the practicality it bestowed her. 

Plus all her dresses were tight and made Sakura feel vulnerable. She never wanted to feel that way again. She set out with her genin ID and weapons pouch. Just in case. 

She was the first to arrive at the bridge they’d chosen to meet at though she could see Sasuke walking in the distance. She gave him a smile and greeted him. He nodded back, eyebrows arched slightly at her outfit though he made no comment for which she was thankful. 

The two stood next to each other in comfortable silence and Sakura reflected on how she would’ve reacted to spending time alone before the Wave mission. She cringed thinking back on how shamelessly she’d flirted with someone who obviously didn’t care. 

“Hey Sasuke.” She looked down as her cheeks burned with the memories. “I’m sorry about how I acted in the Academy and this past month. I should have respected your boundaries as my teammate.” 

“Hm.” He grunted softly. 

“You deserved an apology is all.” They both fell quiet. 

An orange streak was quickly making its way over the bridge. Sasuke pushed off the railing he’d been leaning on to meet Naruto in the middle but before he did turned to Sakura, “Thank you.” 

“Alright let’s get going!” Naruto crowed as his teammates walked up to him. 

“Dobe you’re the late one.” Sasuke said. Sakura stepped between, not wanting to listen to an argument so early in the morning. 

“Did you guys bring your ID?” Naruto blinked owlishly at her. 

“What do we need that for?” 

“To make our appointments. Prove we’re shinobi” 

“Ah I didn’t know I’ll run and grab it!” Naruto made to book it but Sakura caught his sleeve. 

“We’ll go with you.” She linked her arm in his and together with Sasuke a step behind, Naruto led them to his house. Orphans in Konoha lived in the orphanage until they were adopted or reached adulthood, whichever came first. The case was different for genin orphans. Fire country legally saw all shinobi as adults no matter what age they first made genin. Sakura had heard through the grapevines of the Academy that a girl in the year above them was one such case. According to rumours she received money from the village every month for her living expenses and a free apartment until she made chuunin. It was due to all this information Sakura knew there was something deeply wrong when they reached Naruto’s home. 

For one, he had led them to the worst part of the village. Civilians were openly trading drugs and shot dark glares at Sakura when they noticed her watching. The apartment itself was in serious need of repair and some balconies had no railing at all. She shot a look at Sasuke who seemed as disturbed at their teammate’s living situation as she was. Naruto lived on the first of four levels. Unlocking the door, the sight the greeted her was an awful one. 

It was clear Naruto tried to clean but empty ramen cups were littered everywhere, the dishes piled high and a thin coat of dust could be seen on most surfaces. The living room had a curtain running through the middle and Sakura had a strong suspicion it was a makeshift bedroom. How had his living situation gotten so bad?

“Naruto how come you don’t live at the apartment complex near the Academy? The one for orphans?” She asked tentatively. 

“Huh? I don’t know. The orphanage kicked me out when they heard I graduated and this was the only place I could afford with the money ji-chan gives me and still buy food.” Naruto said. The way he spoke so matter of factly made Sakura’s blood hum with anger. Why did the village hate him so much? How much more could they take from him? 

What made her angriest of all was hearing that the Hokage knew. He knew how Naruto lived and did nothing to help him. Her killing intent spiked out sharply and Sasuke took a step back from the force of it. Naruto was none the wiser, still rummaging through drawers trying to find his ninja card. 

By the time he’d found his ID, Sakura had reigned in most of her rage though could feel the stormy expression on her face. Naruto looked at her quizzically, his blue eyes so innocent considering the life he’s led up to this point. She took a steadying breath and smiled at him. 

“Shall we?” They made their way outside though once they hit one of the main roads, it was clear neither Sakura nor Naruto knew which way the Wellness Centre was. With a huff, Sasuke walked in front and led them to the modern looking building. 

“Hey teme how’d you know the way, huh?” Naruto said. 

“I’ve been here before.” Sasuke headed inside before Naruto could ask anymore. The lobby was empty when they walked in save for a woman sitting behind a large desk. She smiled and bowed as they entered. 

“Welcome to Yamanaka Mental Wellness Centre. How may I help you?” When neither of the boys spoke up, Sakura took a step forward. 

“Hi our sensei wanted us to book three sessions each.” 

“Of course. A few therapists are available now you could all have your first session today if you’re available.” The receptionist took their IDs and booked them for a session that morning, and the next two each subsequent week. Sasuke was put out that the appointments couldn’t be held back to back. 

The wait in the lobby was short as one by one, team 7 was called by friendly looking individuals for their sessions. Sakura was relived her therapist was not someone she recognized. She was nervous Ino’s dad, Inoichi might have been assigned to her. He was a kind man, just not someone she’d be comfortable spilling her guts to. 

_Tell them too much and they’ll take you from our boys._ Inner reminded her. 

Her therapist, a round-faced blonde woman with ice blue eyes, led her to a room with a couch and love seat facing each other. 

“Please, get comfortable.” She said. Sakura made her way to the couch and the therapist to the love seat. “My name is Yamanaka Azumi I’ll be your therapist for today. Your file tells me your scheduled for a few more sessions with me but I just want to let you know if you ever don’t feel comfortable, you’re more then welcome to request a new therapist, okay?” Sakura nodded. 

“Perfect can you tell me what brought you in today?” 

“My sensei told my team we have to do a few sessions after our mission went…badly.” 

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Her voice was kind and Sakura felt her walls falling as she told Azumi the entire, horrid tale. When she got to the bridge fight, her breathing started to come out faster. Sakura tried to fight through it but it got bad enough she had to stop talking for a minute. Azumi waited patiently while Sakura reminded herself of what Sasuke taught her and calmed herself down. When she felt normal again she tried to continue where she left off but Azumi spoke first. 

“Does that happen a lot Sakura-chan?” 

“A few times.” She said sheepishly. Azumi must have sensed her embarrassment and she lifted her hand reassuringly. 

“There’s nothing wrong with panic attacks. They’re very common, especially among shinobi.” Sakura remembered how Sasuke told her he used to get them as well and he’s one of the most strong willed people she’d ever met. 

_Please. You’re really gonna fall for everything this chick says?_ Sakura winced at Inner’s harsh tone. 

“Are you alright Sakura?” Her eyes full of concern. The urge to tell someone, anyone about Inner was too strong to fight. 

“I have a voice in my head!” She blurted out. “I’ve been hearing her since I was a kid but she went away for a long time after I met my friend, Ino. But now she’s back and she’s so so much worse and she hates me and almost everyone around me.” When Azumi’s face stayed the same and Sakura saw no judgement, she let out a shaky breath. It felt like a urge burden was off her shoulders. 

“Almost everyone? Who does your voice not hate?” Sakura was a bit taken aback that that was what Azumi decided to focus on. 

“My teammates. She wants to protect them. Like me. It’s the only thing we agree on.” 

“That’s a good sign. If you two can work together, you can exist peacefully together as well. Does she have a name?” 

“I’ve always called her Inner. Like the Inner Sakura.” Azumi nodded and scribbled something down quickly before turning her attention back to Sakura. 

“So Sakura is in charge and Inner is along for the ride?” Sakura nodded to confirm. “Has Inner ever tried to be the one in control?” 

“No she seems happy enough yelling in my head.” Then she remembered the trip back to Konoha. “One time she controlled my chakra though. I don’t know how she did it but it left me super tired.” More notes were written. 

“Sakura, I know this is our first meeting but if you’re comfortable I’d like to try something to initiate some positive interactions between you and Inner.” 

“How?” 

“Well there are two options. Three actually, one being we don’t do this at all and maybe save it for a later session. The first would be for me to use a version of the mind-transfer jutsu and hope that Inner chooses to manifest.” The thought of someone else inside her mind made her skin crawl. 

“And the other option?” 

“I induct a sort of deep sleep on you that will allow you to travel through your own mindscape. Your body will be unconscious and you won’t be able to move but your mind will be alert. I’m a bit worried about this option because you say Inner is openly hostile towards you.”

“I want to do that option, Azumi-san. I want to talk to her. Face to face.” With that, Azumi had Sakura lie down on the couch and close her eyes. She had Sakura start meditating by cycling her chakra throughout her body, the same way she herself did at home. The heady repetition of it had Sakura’s vision turning black. 

The first thing she took note of was the smell of sea air. It smelled stronger here then it had in Wave country. The scene finally settled around her and she could get her bearings. 

She was standing in the middle of an ocean. The water was calm with the waves lapping gently at her ankles. The reflection of the sun off the water was so bright she had to blink the spots out of her eyes. It was as she was looking around, taking in the stunning view that she noticed the girl standing across from her. 

At first, Sakura thought it was her reflection. But the longer she stared at the girl, the more differences she noted. The posture of a skilled fighter, broad shoulders and defined muscles. Two things stood out the most. Her eyes. They had the same predator look that Zabuza had. And her hair was a shock of white cut to her shoulders. It wasn’t a silver-gray like Kakashi’s. Hers looked more like freshly fallen snow. 

“Aren’t you gonna say hi?” The girl said with a playful smile. It was Sakura’s voice that came out.

“Inner?” Sakura said. 

“Wow look at the paper ninja go.” Inner said. If she had any doubts before the sarcasm confirmed her identity. 

“Where are we?” 

“Welcome to the inside of your mind paper ninja. Or my home. Same thing I guess.” Inner shrugged. 

“Stop calling me that!” Inner shot at her from across the water a fist raised up. Sakura raised her arms to block but Inner faked her out and instead swept her legs out from under her. 

“You come into my home and make demands of-” Sakura rolled her body to crash into Inner, causing her to fall next to Sakura. She took advantage of the surprise attack and pinned Inner down. 

“You were saying?” Sakura said. Inner’s smile was all teeth, her eyes alit with wild energy. 

“Maybe this can work after all.” Beneath her, Inner sunk into the water below and when Sakura tried to grab hold of her, her hand couldn’t pass through the water. Inner reemerged a few feet away, sitting cross-legged on the water. She gestured for Sakura to join her. Sakura did so but kept a respectable space between them. They were both quiet as they sized the other up. 

“You look like you’re about to shit from holding in all your questions. Just ask.” Inner said.

“How long have you had this form? And how long have you lived here? How’d you do that sensing thing? Why are you so mean?” 

Inner laughed.”You first thought of me when you were like 4. But I was born when you were Sakura. Just waiting for you to start forming thoughts. I’ve lived in this mindscape of yours since. Also its fun to be mean. You get so worked up and its not like I have any other entertainment around. 

“As for the sensing well as far as I’ve been able to confirm, your chakra reacts differently when I use it. I don’t have your chakra control for one but I can use that Sensor jutsu. By the way I’d love some more in my repertoire if you could study up for me.” 

“What other differences are there?” If Inner was telling the truth, this opened up so many doors Sakura previously couldn’t have walked through. It would be like having the skillset of two ninjas. 

“I have a theory that we have different elemental chakra affinities. Apart from that not much. I have my own chakra reserves but they’re locked away for some reason so I have to rely on yours.” Sakura deflated a bit at the reminder of her meagre reserves. 

“Locked away?” 

Inner huffed impatiently. “You know when you’re meditating and you can feel your core?” Sakura nodded. “I can feel my own but the chakra won’t respond to me. Yours works fine though. Two people using own chakra pool is gonna tap us out fast.” 

“So I’ll work on getting more chakra. And I’ll find out what our elemental affinities are.” She said determined. 

“Oh now you want me around?” Inner said. 

“What?” 

“What do you mean what? You were just asking this therapist about how to get rid of me!” Inner screamed. Sakura heard in her voice something she’d never expect from Inner. Fear. 

“I’m not trying to get rid of you I just want you to stop making things harder for us!” She yelled right back. “I know I’m weak. I know I failed. You don’t have to remind me every day. And you don’t have to send me flashbacks the moment I feel any semblance of happiness!” Inner sat there stunned into silence before she looked away. 

“I don’t do it to make you suffer you know. I don’t want you to forget them.” Sakura moved then and held Inner’s hands with both of hers. Their hands fit together perfectly.

“I will never forget. That’s why we have to get stronger. For our boys.” At the mention of Sasuke and Naruto, Inner’s face softened. 

“Okay. Together then. I’m not going easy on you Forehead.” Sakura flicked Inner’s head. 

“Only Ino gets to call me that.” The water around them rippled slightly. 

“Almost out of time.” Inner got to her feet dragging Sakura up with her. 

Inner insisted of a proper spar match before she let Sakura go. She suspected Inner just wanted to beat her for the trick she pulled before. She, predictably, lost badly. As she lay on the ocean surface gasping for breath, Inner stretched her arms above her head. 

“That was a good warmup. Let’s go again.” 

“Let me out of here you maniac.” Sakura said with no real heat. “How’re you so good?”

“Not like there’s anything else to do around here.”She gestured to the wide open space they were in. Sakura gave a huff of laughter, putting her hands up to shield her eyes from the sun’s glare and focused on how the breeze ruffled Inner’s hair.

“Hey one more question. What’s up with your hair?”

Inner ran a hand through her locks and if it wasn’t Inner, Sakura would say the gesture was self conscious. “I don’t know. It’s not by choice, I can’t change my appearance or anything. It’s just always been white.” 

“Well it looks cute cut short.” 

“Short hair is practical. I don’t know how you live with hair down to your ass.” Inner rolled her eyes but the smallest smile tugged at her lips. Inner helped her to her feet once again and rested her hands on Sakura’s shoulders. “See you on the flip side.” 

Inner pressed down and Sakura began to sink into the ocean. Soon she was completely submerged and darkness surrounded her the lower she sank. She felt it when she returned to her body and sure enough when she opened her eyes, she was back in the therapy room. Azumi handed her a glass of water when she noticed Sakura stirring.

“How are you feeling?” She asked. Sakura sipped her water, taking the time to sort out everything she’d learned.

“How long was I asleep?” 

“A little over half an hour.” It had felt like the same amount of time had passed in her mind and she told Azumi as much. “That’s good to know. So how did it go?” 

“Good. I mean she tried to fight me at first but we talked and we both agreed to work together.” Azumi gave her a brilliant smile. 

“That’s wonderful progress, Sakura.” She wanted to tell Azumi more but it was then she noted their session was nearly over. 

“I want you to work on your cooperation with Inner and tell me how it goes the next time we meet, okay?” 

“Thank you, Azumi-san.” Sakura got up from her seat and bowed her head. 

“Oh please no need for such formalities. You can call me Azumi.” Sakura waved her goodbye as she exited the room and headed to the lobby to meet with the boys. Naruto was already seated in one of the chairs, swinging his legs. He lit up when he saw Sakura. 

“Sakura-chan over here! Ha Sasuke-teme is the last one now.” Sakura snorted as she sat next to him and chose not to mention how many times Naruto was late for things. Though he was nowhere near as bad as Kakashi. 

“How was your session Naruto?” She was nervous Naruto’s therapist would hold the same prejudices the rest of the village seemed to have for him. 

“It was great! Tadao is a riot you should meet him. How was yours?” A wave of relief washed over her. 

“Good. Azumi was really nice.” From deeper inside the building, an echo rang out of a door being slammed shut and Sasuke came storming down the hallway. He walked straight outside, not even acknowledging Sakura and Naruto who both sat there alarmed. They scrambled to chase after their teammate who had already reached the end of the street. 

After following behind as Sasuke weaved through side alleys and roads, Sakura realized where he was headed. The Uchiha district. She herself had never been to the property but everyone in the village knew better then to trespass. Sasuke came to a stop in front of the gated entrance, the paint depicting his clan symbol peeling away. He didn’t go to open the doors instead falling to his knees before it. Naruto and Sakura rushed to help him but paused a few feet away when they saw Sasuke’s shaking figure. 

“He wanted me to forgive my brother.” Sasuke said through gritted teeth. “He kept pushing and pushing and I couldn’t-” A sob broke loose from his chest and Sasuke dissolved in tears. Sakura felt her own face grow wet as she watched him break down. She knelt beside him and offered her palm to him. Sasuke wasn’t someone who initiated physical touch often so she held her hand out, giving him the choice and letting him know she was there. Sasuke slowly reached out but once their hands met, he held on tight enough to bruise. Naruto had come up to his other side and held his hand out which Sasuke took as well. 

“You don’t have to meet with that therapist again, Sasuke.” She said softly. “We’ll demand a new one.” 

“Yeah screw that guy! Let’s get him fired. Ooh lets prank him and then get him fired.” Naruto’s eyes brimmed with mischief. Sasuke was uncharacteristically fidgety and she could tell he was conflicted about sharing something. 

“You don’t have to tell us anything you’re not comfortable with.” She tried to channel a bit of Azumi’s reassuring nature when she said it. He let out a long breath, calming his nerves. 

“My brother. He told me the only way to avenge my clan was to kill him. And to unlock the power I need, I have to kill someone I love.” His head was bowed with his hair covering his face. 

“Bullshit!” Naruto said. Sasuke whipped up to look at him. “That’s bullshit. If you wanna beat him you can learn more justus and moves and stuff. You don’t need to kill anyone, Sasuke.” 

“He’s right. We’ll help you.” Sakura said. 

“You don’t understand. This is why I stayed away from you two. The mangekyou sharingan can only be awakened by killing a loved one.” 

“Then don’t awaken it!” Naruto and Sakura cried at once. She tightened her grip on his hand.

“We’ll find another way.” Seeing the matching expressions of determination on his teammates’ face, Sasuke sighed in defeat. 

When Sasuke’s tears turned into occasional sniffs, Naruto spoke up. “Can I tell you guys something?” They turned to him though Naruto didn’t meet their gaze. “Tadao thinks it’d be good if I told you.” 

Then he told a story. A story of Mizuki-sensei, a forest at night, a deep betrayal and an uncovered truth. The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. The Nine-Tailed fox lived inside the boy with the sunshine smile. 

Everything clicked into place. Why the village hated Naruto, why no one adopted him, why no adult would let their kid go near him. That hatred spread to the children of the village who ostracized Naruto. Even to her though no one had explicitly told her to avoid him, she had. And how heartbreaking that the boy who saved Konoha is so hated by its people. Sakura scooted over so the three of them were sat in a circle and laced her fingers through Naruto’s with a squeeze. 

“Naruto you’re a hero.” She said, Sasuke making a noise of agreement. 

“I’m scared.” Naruto said quietly. “I’m scared I’ll turn into someone I’m not.” 

“We won’t let that happen, dobe.” Sasuke said. Naruto wiped his rapidly dampening eyes with the back of his hands. 

“If we’re all sharing…” Sakura said. She wanted to be honest with her team about Inner. So she told them everything. The constant voice in her head telling her she wasn’t good enough for them, the awful flashback and finally the confrontation during therapy. Naruto nodded along while she spoke, no doubt understanding what a voice in his head felt like. 

“So she’s still around?” Sasuke asked. 

“Yeah but we’ve decided to work together. She loves you two.” She snorted out a laugh as both their faces turned pink. 

A team 7 free of secrets sat on the dust covered road with the sun beating down on them. Children helping each other hold their broken, jagged pieces together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I hope that therapy part was a bit accurate. I'm a broke uni student so I've never gone before. Let me know what y'all think!


	4. Chapter 4

The three team 7 members were sat in front of the Uchiha district entrance. Being as emotionally wrung out as they were, Sakura suggested they grab a snack. They found themselves wandering the market, one of the few locations in Konoha where shinobi and civilians merge. Sakura usually loved the market. The atmosphere, the happy people, the kind salespeople. But now that she knew the reason behind Naruto’s social exile, it was impossible not to notice. In the end, she only pointed out the mochi stand to the boys because the owner wasn’t throwing Naruto dirty looks. Luckily, they both seemed more then alright with her choice. As they were leaving to find a place to sit, a familiar trio walked up to the stall. 

“Forehead!” Ino cried as she grappled Sakura into a tight hug. “My dad said your mission went above rank and he wouldn’t tell me anymore and you were gone so much longer then you were supposed to and-” 

“Ino I’m okay!” Sakura said clutching Ino back. “Don’t tell me you missed me Ino-pig?” 

At that, Ino pulled away and crossed her arms. “Keep dreaming, Forehead. I was just worried about Sasuke-kun is all.” 

“Oh right about that. I’m done chasing Sasuke. I care for him as a teammate and friend only.” When she looked behind her, Sasuke had his back to the reunion, resolutely not looking at them. Though by the way Naruto was snickering, she knew he was a bit embarrassed at the scene. 

“Huh? But-?”

“Also!” Sakura held Ino’s hand in hers. “Let’s be friends again Ino. It was dumb ending our friendship for a boy. No offence Sasuke.” He waved a hand. 

“Well I guess since we’re not competitors anymore.” Sakura beamed at her. She really had missed Ino. The only time the spoke at the Academy was to fight and she missed the easy friendship they had. Ino had been her whole world. Now, Sakura just wanted her to be a part of it. 

Shikamaru and Choji called Ino over as they moved on and Sakura waved goodbye to the group. She used to envy the Ino-Shika-Cho trio. They had been friends from birth and had a flawless teamwork. Her own team at the time could barely stand each other. 

Now as she walked off with her boys, Sakura thanked whatever fate had brought them together. After browsing a few more shops in the market, her eye caught on one of the shinobi storefronts. 

“Let’s go in here!” She said, going on ahead with the boys a few steps behind. The store was wall to wall decorated to display all the gleaming weapons, scrolls and medical supplies a shinobi could ever want. Sakura’s eyes caught on the sword display but kept walking to the clerk’s desk. She was on a mission. A veteran shinobi sat behind the desk. She had her arm amputated to the elbow with no prosthetic in sight. 

“What can I do ya for, kid?” 

“Do you sell chakra induction paper?” Sakura had read about the special paper that reacted to your chakra used to find your elemental affinity in the back of her Academy textbook. 

“Sure do.” The woman said. 

“Could I buy four sheets please?” After handing over the entire content of her wallet, Sakura turned to find the boys had gravitated to different sections of the store. Sasuke stood in front of the swords she had previously admired while Naruto was drooling over what she could only describe as the traps section. Wires, bombs and scrolls with intricate writing. She had expected him to go for the biggest looking weapon but this suited him a lot better, she thought. 

She walked over to stand a bit behind Sasuke. The swords were beautifully crafted though, privately, she thought they didn’t hold a candle to the Executioner’s blade. She never payed much attention to swords as she was much more suited to projectiles like kunai and shuriken. She wandered over to where those items were displayed along with rows and rows of senbon. Konoha was not a village known for its use of senbon. But as she remembered how skilled Zabuza’s masked companion was with the weapon, her hands itched to use them. 

“Sakura-chan this place is great! I’ve never even seen some of this stuff.” Naruto said. 

“Me neither. But I got what I came for.” She held up the paper. “Did you want to buy something?” 

Naruto shook his head. “Nah I couldn’t get anything anyway.” Sakura linked their arms together and walked back towards Sasuke. 

“Do you know how to wield a sword?” She asked him. 

“A bit.” He said. “There’s a training grounds at my house with practice swords.” With a final admiring look to the shelf, the group headed out of the store. They walked for a bit though it was clear the shop had stirred something inside of Naruto. 

“It’s weird not getting to do any training.” He sighed heavily, Sasuke making a sound in agreement. While the two eyed each other over the phenomena of being on the same page for once, Sakura put a hand on her pouch. 

“Well…” She said. “We could go find a free training ground and do some training.” 

“Kakashi-sensei said not to though Sakura-chan.” 

“He said don’t train without supervision. We can all watch each other.” Sasuke snorted at her logic but didn’t refute it. He was dying to train as badly as Naruto was. “Plus I got these for us.” Sakura said, fanning Naruto’s face with the chakra paper. He swatted her away with a laugh. 

“What is that anyway?” He asked. 

“You’ll see.” 

Finding an empty training grounds was harder then they expected. It was still early in the afternoon and most teams hadn’t finished training for the day. They ended up having to walk to a field on the outskirts of the training area. Although the ground was bare of grass and packed hard, it would have to do for now. She sat down once they reached the middle of the field and the boys sat on either side of her. 

“These are chakra papers.” She said. “They’ll tell us what our chakra nature is.” 

After a not-so-brief explanation to Naruto about the five different elements and Sasuke chiming in with details she missed, the blonde was nearly vibrating with excitement. Sakura handed them each a sheet keeping two for herself. 

“What’s the extra for?” Sasuke asked. 

“For Inner. Remember when we passed that group on the road back to Konoha and I get super weak?” He nodded. “That was Inner using my chakra. And she’s a Sensor apparently even though I’m not. She thinks we might have different elemental affinities so I thought we could each try a sheet and see what happens.” 

They all held their sheets in front of them, eyes focused as they channeled a bit of chakra into the paper. Sakura’s sheet immediately turned brown and crumbled in her hand. 

“Earth!” She cried. It was probably the last element she’d expected for herself. She looked to the boys and saw Naruto holding a paper ripped in half and Sasuke with one crinkled and on fire. 

“This one is wind right?” Naruto asked and Sakura nodded to confirm. “And what’s up with the teme’s?” 

“Fire and lightening.” Sasuke said, blowing the fire out. “Try your other one.” Sakura held her second paper up and waited. Feeling her own chakra move within her without her willing it to do so was the oddest sensation. The paper in her hand got soaked and left her holding a pulped mess. 

“That’s water. No fair you both get two elements.” Naruto pouted. 

“And you get endless chakra stop whining, dobe” Sasuke said. Before she could move to intervene, the two were already wrestling on the ground. She took the time to reach out to Inner, the first time she’d ever willingly done so. 

_So I was right._ Inner said smugly. In her mind’s eye she could see Inner sitting on top of her ocean in the same position Sakura was in. 

_Next thing we need is to get a bigger chakra reserve._ When Sakura probed on how to do that, Inner shrugged. 

_You’ve gotta expend all you chakra every day. It’s like a muscle. You have to use it to make it stronger._ It made sense. At that rate she was going with her meditation, her reserves would grow at a snail’s pace. She needed more if she wanted to keep up with her boys. 

_We can start now. Let me sense the area._ Sakura saw no harm and it would give them both a good idea on Inner’s range. She allowed her body to relax as Inner gathered up her chakra and sent out a pulse. It shaped around her in a sphere reaching the tops of the surrounding trees. Surprisingly, Inner’s range covered the entire training ground and a bit of the forest that lied outside. 

With her Sensing, Naruto and Sasuke lit up brightly, though very differently. Thick tendrils of chakra covered Sasuke. It was as though his arms and legs were covered in flames. The chakra occasionally arced out not unlike lightening. It was mesmerizing. 

It hurt to look at Naruto. She could see his chakra whipping around him like a gale. That was normal. She was sure the red, pulsing energy that coated him head to toe was not. The Kyuubi’s energy brimmed with a malice so strong Sakura had to force herself not to shift away. She was so distracted by the sight she almost missed Inner’s cry of warning. 

_The trees!_ Sakura shifted her attention to the trees and at first didn’t know why Inner had sounded so panicked. But the longer she focused on them the more she got the sense that something was wrong. She realized with a start that a large spot hidden in the leaves was out of sync with the natural chakra of the tree, though the two emitted the same overall level.

Someone was watching them. Someone skilled enough to mask their chakra. 

Sakura shot to her feet and ran over to where the boys had progressed into a full spar. “We need to leave. Now.” She said. 

“Huh? But we just got here!” Naruto said. She looked over to Sasuke, trying to convey her urgency and hoping he’d understand. 

“Let’s go back to my place” Sasuke said. “It’s quiet there.” Sakura hoped that meant it was still warded against intruders. Naruto had no choice to follow as his teammates made their way back to the Uchiha district, though he let them both know how unhappy he was. Inner occasionally sent out a pulse and now that she knew what she was looking for, it was easy to track the person as they followed them. 

Sasuke made quick work in opening the gates and once they were closed shut behind them, she let out a breath. Sasuke led them through the streets of the district and through her panic, a pang of empathy rang through her. Their steps echoed and it was impossible not to feel utterly alone in the massive area. She doesn’t know how Sasuke could live alone here. 

Why did he live alone, she thought suddenly. Did no adult think it would be wrong and cruel to let a child grow up in the very place his whole family was slaughtered? 

They finally made it to Sasuke’s home, a humble abode compared to some of the other mansions they’d passed. They settled around the dinner table, both boys waiting for Sakura to explain. When Inner confirmed their stalker hadn’t followed them into the district, she spoke. 

“We were being watched. And then they followed us here.” Sasuke straightened in alarm but Naruto, strangely, seemed relaxed. She explained what she and Inner had been doing during their spar and how she noticed the well concealed person. 

“Oh it was probably the mask guys.” Naruto said. 

“From the Hokage tower?” She asked. She had thought the individuals with the porcelain masks part of the Hokage’s personal guard and said as much. 

“Yeah they protect ji-chan but they follow me everywhere too. I didn’t know why before but I guess its cause of the Kyuubi.” He said with a shrug. 

“The Anbu follow you everywhere? Your whole life?” Sasuke said. 

“Yup. Is that what they’re called?” 

“My…my brother was one. Before.” Sasuke trailed off. When he saw how lost Sakura looked he explained. An organization of killers the village used to eliminate anyway they see fit. Age, apparently didn’t matter. Itachi was recruited at the ripe old age of 12. If Konoha believed you had the skills, they’d make you an assassin. 

“So what, they can have these hitmen follow around a kid all day but they won’t send one to deal with Gato!” Sakura stood and slammed her palms on the table. How many other dirty secrets was her village hiding? With every new thing she learns, the more anger she feels towards those in charge. The Hokage, Kakashi. How far do these secrets go? 

“I’m just saying we didn’t have to run from them.” Naruto said in an attempt to placate her. “They never actually try to talk to me or hurt me.” Sakura sat back down, the energy depletion from using all that Sensing finally catching up to her. 

“Well I didn’t wanna say anything out loud to tip them off. I thought it was an enemy.” She said as she rested her head down on the table. The three of them were silent for a moment.

“We need our own signals.” Sasuke finally said. His teammates looked to him quizzically. “If Sakura could have signed to us, like possible hostile, it would’ve been helpful and we’d all know without our enemy knowing.” 

“Let’s do it, ttebayo!” Naruto said. Sakura perked up and put her paper ninja skills to good use. By the time they’d come up with a comprehensive list of hand signs, night had fallen. 

“Sakura-chan won’t your parents worry if you’re out this late?” Naruto asked. 

“They’ve been out of the village for a month and they won’t be back for another few weeks. I think they went to Iwagakure this time.” Sakura said when an idea popped in her head. She thought of both her teammates living situation and shyly asked, “You two can sleepover if you want. There’s a guest bedroom and I can make dinner and breakfast and-” 

“Wooooo sleepover at Sakura-chan’s!” Naruto whooped. 

“I guess its safer for now to stick together.” Sasuke mumbled. 

When she falls asleep that night with Sasuke and Naruto already snoring down the hallway with a belly full of food, she does not dream. At least, it don’t feel like a dream. It’s not like her flashback either. The scenes before her hold a fuzzy sense of half forgotten memories though she has never experienced anything like it. 

She is powerful. She is a god. Water bends to her will, twisting and shaping a dragon that drowns her enemies. The earth rises up to answer her call as she changes the very shape of the battlefield. Her chakra is a vast ocean and she uses it with surgeon-like precision. Her speed is leaves her breathless, a force of nature. Her enemies lay scattered on the battlefield. She feels amazing. She catches a reflection of herself in the remnants of a water jutsu. Red eyes meet hers and the sight is so jarring she jerks awake. 

Sakura laid in bed with a yearning so powerful she thought she’d die. It was everything she wanted to be and more. Could that be her reality? Within her, she felt Inner stir in anticipation. 

_Why couldn’t that be us?_

The thought echoed in her mind as she prepared and ate breakfast with the boys. She was recalling the feeling of cutting down her opponents when Naruto waved a hand in front of her face. 

“Sorry.” She said. “Did you say something?”

“What did you wanna do today?” Sakura thought for a moment when she remembered both how Inner needed a wider repertoir of jutsus and how Kakashi insisted on them heading to the library. 

“What kind of jutsus can we find in the library?” She asked. 

“Low level ones. Genin aren’t even authorized C-rank jutsus without a jonin’s approval.” Sasuke replied. That wasn’t good enough. She now had a taste for power and she wanted to get there quickly. Naruto had a wide grin on his face. 

“Hey I know where they keep the cool stuff.” He reminded them how Mizuki had tricked him into stealing a high level scroll. “There was a bunch of other scrolls in the room I broke into! I bet you two could find something just as awesome as my shadow clone jutsu.” 

Looting her own village for secret jutsus would have never crossed her mind before. Now, Sakura had no issues. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment her loyalties had shifted over to the two boys that sat in front of her. But arming herself with knowledge was the first step in staying by their side. 

The heist itself, for all the intricate planning they had done, was anticlimactic. Naruto led them through the path he had used the last time and Sakura sent out occasional pulses of chakra to ensure no one was nearby. 

The room holding the most coveted jutsus of Konoha was a dusty old basement that reeked of damp air. There must have been preservation bindings on the scrolls themselves because she couldn’t see how else they’d survive such awful conditions. The three made eye contact before diving in. The scrolls didn’t seem to be organized by any noticeable pattern so Sakura pulled out the first in a nearby shelf. A drawing of a boar stared back at her and she quickly shoved it back in its original spot. She continued on with this method before something drew her attention. 

Everyone in Konoha knew the Senju clan symbol. It was the closest thing the village had to a holy symbol. Being both the founders of Konoha and the first two Hokages, their impact reached legendary status before Sakura was born. 

She carefully unrolled the scroll, skimming the contents and nearly dropped the paper. It was her jutsu. The one she dreamed about which she now sees is named Water Dragon Bullet. She tries to calm herself, rationalizing that it was also the jutsu Kakashi and Zabuza used against each other. It just got lodged in her subconscious. 

She pockets the scroll and limits her search to only those that bear the Senju crest. The range of techniques and jutsus are still widely varied, which she should have expected. The Senju, unlike other clans like the Hyuuga and Uchiha, had no signature jutsu, element or fighting style. They were known as the clan of a thousand jutsus. 

She struck gold when she discovered an in depth Sensor scroll that detailed how to minimize chakra loss while expanding one’s range. She made her way back to the centre of the room to find Sasuke and Naruto reading up on their own findings. 

“What’d you guys find?” She asked as she plopped down next to them. 

“Look, look!” Naruto held his scroll out to her. “Fuinjutsu! This was made by other people named Uzumaki. I thought I was alone.” 

“That’s amazing, Naruto. What’s it about?” Naruto talked a mile a minute detailing the contents of the scroll. Apparently it described chains made from the person’s chakra that could be used to restrain someone and bind their chakra. When she asked Sasuke what he was reading, he simply tilted the scroll so she could read over his shoulder. 

Diagrams of the human body with detailed notes in the margins were drawn on the page. Sasuke figured if he could understand how the mangekyou sharingan worked on a biological level, he could trick his own eyes into awakening. He needed to start at the basics of medical ninjutsu but judging by the speed he devoured the text, Sakura could tell he had no problem keeping up. 

Team 7 spent the whole day studying away in the small underground room. During a deeper investigation of the room’s contents, Sakura discovered a lower level water and earth scroll. The water jutsu would release a powerful jet from her mouth while the earth jutsu would allow her to form a defensive wall. Naruto also found a few more fuinjutsu scrolls he found interesting but focused primarily on his chakra chains. They debated on whether they should take the scrolls with them but decided against the unnecessary risk, instead choosing to come back the next day. 

The three fell into a routine of waking up early, dodging their Anbu shadow, studying the day away and going back to Sakura’s home. At night, Sakura and Inner would work on their sensing until chakra exhaustion made her fall asleep. Her range and reserves were growing exponentially. She supposed since she’d never seriously used her chakra before, there was plenty of room to grow.

On the morning of their second therapy appointment they chose to take a break from the non-stop study. Azumi was happy to hear she was getting along swimmingly with both her teammates and Inner though she kept their daily activities to herself. Sasuke seemed to like his new therapist which was a relief to her and Naruto. The three went back to the market place to stock up on supplies using the time to practice their custom hand communication. Sakura also bought herself a wardrobe’s worth of practical clothes. 

The day before their final session, they felt ready enough to attempt what they’ve learned. They went to the Uchiha district both because it was guarded against the Anbu and because it had a medium sized lake on the property Sakura needed for her jutsu. As soon as they arrived at the lake, Naruto stepped in front of them with a dramatic flourish. 

“Check it out guys!” He ran through a few hands signs and closed his eyes in concentration. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, three silver chains shot out of his abdomen towards Sakura and Sasuke. They dived out of the way but one chain followed her while two went for Sasuke. 

“Naruto end the jutsu!” She tried to zigzagging around the field but the chain was relentless and tracked her every move. She could see in her periphery Sasuke was having no easier of a time then she was. 

“They won’t listen to me!” Naruto cried, panic creeping into his voice. As she jumped to try and put more distance between her and Naruto, the chain wrapped around her ankle midair and brought her crashing back to the ground. They started to wind themselves up her body.

“Dobe! Do something!” Sasuke said. He had changed tactics and was now parrying the chains with a kunai. 

“STOP!” Naruto spread his arms and the chains went slack at the command. Slowly, he drew his arms back and the chains followed the motions until they were once again within his chest. Despite the dull throb in her ankle, Sakura ran over and hugged Naruto. 

“That was awesome! You made three chains.” She said as she pulled back. 

“I couldn’t control them.” He said sullenly. “It could’ve hurt you guys.” 

“But it didn’t. And you got control back so fast. With practice you’ll be so cool.” Naruto perked up at the words. Sasuke volunteered to go next and bent down to examine Sakura’s hurt ankle. His hand lit up a bright green and the throbbing she felt was soothed immediately. Sasuke hummed in satisfaction. She had read up on how difficult medical ninjutsu was. The fact that Sasuke could conjure any healing chakra at all so early into his study was amazing and she told him as much. 

He looked up at her with bright red eyes. 

“Your sharingan.” She gasped. 

“I was practicing and practicing every night and couldn’t get the chakra to feel right.” He said. “Then, as I was staring at it, my eyes sharpened and I could see so much clearler how the chakra flowed and what I was doing wrong.” He explained how that night he snuck out to observe the med-nins at the Konoha hospital to memorize how they controlled their medical chakra. 

“I can’t do much besides numb some nerves. I wanted to surprise you guys.” He spoke the last part softly, his eyes returning to a familiar black. 

“Can I hug you?” Sakura asked. Sasuke gave the briefest nod before Sakura was holding him tightly. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“Your turn Sakura-chan.” Naruto said. She stood in front of the lake. As she ran through the lengthy seal formations, Inner allowed her chakra to seek out the natural chakra of the water. When she formed the final seal, the two chakras connected and a wave of water rose up. Sakura concentrated hard to keep the form steady as the head of the dragon formed. Before the rest of the body could emerge, her connection snapped and the water fell back into the lake splashing all three of them. 

It was more then she’d expected for her first try but that wasn’t what she was happy about. A quick check of her reserves told her she still had almost half of her chakra left. With it, she tried out her lower-level water jutsu. Inner concentrated the chakra to her throat and when Sakura formed the seal, a stream of water jetted out of her mouth. Without breaking her momentum, she took hold of her chakra, slapped her palms to the ground and called up a waist-level earth wall. 

“That was insane!” Naruto was hugging her and jumping around. She laughed and jumped with him, the two of them surrounding Sasuke who refused to participate. Eventually they all settled in the grass. 

“We’re going to be the most kickass team around, ttebayo.” Naruto said. Before, Sakura would’ve that Sasuke and Naruto alone would make them a powerful team but not anymore. She’s accomplished so much already and she was well on her way to being the warrior she saw in her dream. 

The next day at the final therapy session, Sakura told Azumi how much she’s learned and grown though she didn’t mention which jutsu she was attempting. When she mentioned how her teammates were also learning new things, Azumi spoke up.

“Sakura, can I ask how much time you spend with your two friends?” She asked. 

“We’ve been together like everyday since we came back from Wave.” Azumi wrote down a note with a furrowed brow and Sakura felt an icicle of dread pierce her stomach. 

“That was over three weeks ago.” She said softly. “Do you mean you’ve been meeting up for lunch or training?” 

“N-no.” Sakura sank down in the couch, no longer making eye contact with Azumi. “They’ve been sleeping over at my place.” Azumi leaned forward in her seat.

“I think it’s wonderful that you and your teammates are getting along, Sakura. But there is a point where a friendship can be unhealthy. Spending all day everyday with the same people is a sign that things are bordering over to the unhealthy.” 

“You didn’t see where they were living. I couldn’t let them stay there.” Tears slipped down her face as she remembered Naruto’s cramped apartment. The huge, empty district Sasuke lived. 

“It’s a positive sentiment. But the three of you need to have lives outside of each other. You all went through a traumatizing event thats causing you to cling harder to each other. It’s not unheard of.”

Sakura zoned out slightly as Azumi explained concepts like codependency. How was she supposed to be a useful teammate if she couldn’t spend time with her team? She knew, just this once, she would disregard Azumi’s advice. She needed to protect them. Gods know the village wouldn’t, she thought bitterly. 

When the three exited the Wellness Centre, Kakashi was sitting on a nearby bench with his Icha Icha book. How he knew that they would be here and that it was their last session was beyond her. He looked up when they walked closer and gave a slight wave. 

“Hello my cute little students.” He said. “Team meeting on the bridge in an hour.” He got up, ignored the questions Naruto threw his way and shunshined away. 

Three hours later, which Sakura thought was early for Kakashi, the full team 7 was assembled on the bridge. 

“So how did you all spend your time off?” Kakashi asked. 

“In a library.” Sakura said bluntly. It felt strange being in front of her sensei once again. It was as if she could finally breathe these past few weeks and now she’s being crushed under the weight of his detached stare again. 

“Good, good.” He said idly. “Well, I brought you here to give you this.” In his hands, he held three applications for the chuunin exams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all like this chapter! I always wondered about how Naruto got the scroll for his shadow clones. Considering he learned that in like a few hours, I think its ok to have them learn new things in a month or so.
> 
> Also! I'm trying to upload on Wednesdays from now on instead of the of what i was doing before which was basically upload the chapter as soon as I was done with them. Let's see if I can stick to a consistent schedule during this quarantine where time feels like an illusion.


	5. Chapter 5

Standing before the the Forest of Death as the proctor handed out waivers, Sakura was beyond done with the scare tactics. First, a pair of chuunins used a genjutsu on the second level of the building the exam was being held to trick some genins. Sakura and Sasuke had signed to each other at the same time to point it out and quickly moved on to the right floor. Then that Torture and Interrogation guy had tried to psych everyone out and make them drop out of the exam. Now, as she held a waiver detailing how Konoha would not be responsible for her death, Sakura was seriously questioning how they expected nearly the same thing to work a third time. After exchanging their waivers for the heaven scroll, team 7 was directed to their starting gate. 

“Plan?” Naruto signed. It was a smart move not vocalizing their brainstorming. They didn’t know how close the gates were to each other. 

“Sakura sense weak. Fight. Avoid strong. Quick route.” Sasuke signed back and the other two nodded. A bell chimed out and the shinobi guard opened their gate. The three shot into the forest, covering as much ground as they could. They came to a stop when Naruto signalled he needed to pee. 

She took the time to sense the nearby area for enemies. She covered only their immediate vicinity in order to conserve chakra. The proctor had said they had up to a week in here but she wanted to get this section of the exam over with. 

Right from the start, she felt as though she was being watched. But when she tried to observe the other genins around her, no one was looking back. She could have mistaken looks thrown Sasuke’s way she supposed. He already had three powerful genins itching to fight him. The boy in the green spandex, the Hyuuga with milky irises and the Suna nin. The redhead was the worse of the bunch with a near constant killing intent activated. 

And then there was that older boy, Kabuto. He had seemed so helpful to the rookie nine, giving them info on the foreign nins. But the entire time he spoke, Inner was on edge and restless. It was hard to listen to the intel when Inner was chanting for her to get away. Sakura didn’t know why Inner freaked out and Inner couldn’t explain either. 

_He’s wrong._ Was all she said. 

“Alright let’s go guys.” Naruto called out as he walked back to the clearing. With her sensing still broadcasting over the area, Sakura couldn’t make out the Kyuubi’s chakra that should have been radiating off of Naruto. It was an imposter.

“Fake.” She signed. Sasuke wasted no time and engaged the look alike in a close combat fight, sharingan eyes blazing. He, too, was trying to conserve chakra. From up in the trees, the real Naruto threw kunais to distract the enemy. Sasuke took the opening to stab the man’s chest. It must have not gone deep enough as the foreign nin shunshined away from the losing battle. Naruto jumped down from above and the three knelt for a moment to strategize. 

“The other teams are already attacking. We need to find a scroll and get to the tower as fast as possible.” Sasuke said. 

“Who should guard our scroll?” Sakura said. She had been the one to get the scroll but didn’t think she could fight hand to hand for it. 

“I will. You keep up the sensing and Naruto will be the main fighter.” The blonde pumped his fists in the air at that. It was as they got up to move on that everything went wrong. 

A powerful blast of wind came shooting through the forest. She had never seen a wind style jutsu strong enough to carve through earth. It hit Naruto dead on and sent him flying backwards deeper into the forest. Sasuke and Sakura barely jumped out of the way, taking refuge beneath a bush as they waited for whoever sent the blast to show themselves. 

It wasn’t difficult to deduce that the three people bearing the Sound hit ates were not genin level shinobi. The woman in the middle sent her two teammates away and walked slowly yet deliberately to where they were hiding. Sasuke and Sakura stood up, not wanting to fight from a position that put them at such a disadvantage. The woman took one look at them and cackled loudly.

As she stared down the two teenagers, she sent a wave of killer intent towards them. Sakura had never felt anything like it. The Suna boy’s killer intent paled in comparison. She was in the forest getting ripped apart limb from limb. She was on the bridge with Zabuza, his massive sword cutting through her with no resistance. Over and over each vision of death more horrid, more vivid, then the last. 

The woman finally released her hold on them. They had both collapsed to the ground and Sasuke doubled over as he threw up. With a shaky hand, Sakura got her teammate’s attention and formed the sign for retreat. She didn’t know if they could outrun this shinobi but if they could find a proctor, they could get some back up. 

“None of that now. The fun’s just begun.” The woman threw a hail of kunais their way and the two were forced to leap to the tree branches above for cover. As soon as they landed, the woman was on them catching Sasuke in the jaw with a punch that sent him flying back. Their fight was fast, faster then Sakura’s eyes could keep up with but she could see Sasuke noticeably slowing. He couldn’t maintain the pace and the enemy nin would beat him. 

“Sakura go! Find Naruto!” Sasuke yelled. 

_NO! This is what we’ve been working for! Help him!_ Inner said. Sakura would be more of a hindrance then a help to Sasuke right now. There’s no way she could keep pace with this shinobi. 

_Find a way._ Inner said bluntly. She felt her chakra being directed to her legs and understood Inner’s intentions. By channeling chakra to different parts her body she could boost her natural movements. The only reason most shinobi don’t use this technique often is the risk that comes with damaging the chakra pathways. Too much and one could irreparable damage themselves. But Sakura had excellent chakra control and she just needed a boost. 

With chakra cycling through her legs, she pushed off the branch towards the fighting duo. It was more effective then she expected, closing the distance in one leap. The shinobi and Sasuke glanced at her in surprise and Sakura went straight for the enemy’s throat with her kunai. The enemy bent backwards, kicking Sakura away as she cartwheeled to put space between the two teenagers. The woman’s face looked wrong, as though the skin was peeling off the muscles. 

“Very good.” The woman purred though her lips didn’t move. The three were about to lunge at each other again when the boom of crashing trees sounded behind them. 

“You’re gonna have to do better then a giant snake to get rid of Uzumaki Naruto!” The boy in question had several shadow clones holding up the head of what had to be the largest snake Sakura has ever seen. The clones tossed the head and it landed next to the woman. Naruto leaped down from above. He and Sakura stood in front of Sasuke in a triangle formation. 

“Aww Eiichi was so excited to play.” The woman bent to touch the decapitated head and it disappeared in a puff of smoke. “And I suppose I don’t need this either.” She said. 

She reached up to her neck and slowly pulled the loose skin off. Sakura felt bile climb her throat but forced herself to keep watching as the person discarded the skinned mask. The man underneath was unnaturally pale with yellow slitted eyes and a sharp smirk. Staring at him, a wave of familiarity washed over her though she was certain she’d never seen anyone like this man before. 

“This is too precious. What are the odds?” The man’s long tongue snaked out of his mouth as he licked his lips. “The last Uchiha, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki and my own little failed experiment are on a team together.” He looked at them each in turn with his eyes settling on Sakura. 

“Oy what are you talking about, experiment?” Naruto demanded. The shinobi ignored him as he gauged Sakura’s reaction. Inner was itching to fight but something had changed about the shinobi’s posture. He was clearly playing with them earlier and she knew if she attacked recklessly now, he’d cut her down in a second. 

“What do you mean by experiment?” Sakura repeated the question. 

“Oh don’t tell me truly no abilities have manifested. That would be such a waste.” He said in false disappointment. “Tell me, are you a water user? Or perhaps a Sensor? I know, your speed is unmatched. I saw that little trick you pulled before.” 

The group was stunned into silence and he grinned widely in realization. How could this stranger possibly know those things about her? No. About Inner. 

“Not so failed after all. I would love to stay and chat but I’ve only come for one thing.” His neck elongated grotesquely and shot past Naruto and Sakura. He bit deeply into Sasuke’s neck who screamed in pain. Sasuke swiped out with his kunai but only managed to cut a few hairs as the head retreated. 

Sasuke put a hand up to the bite mark, hands aglow with green chakra but he collapsed before he could heal himself. Sakura rushed over to catch him before his head hit the ground while Naruto charged at the shinobi with a war cry. He created dozens of clones but the man dodged them all effortlessly. His arm whipped out, grabbed the real Naruto’s head and smashed it into a tree trunk. The clones all turned to smoke as Naruto went limp. 

“Try to keep Sasuke alive for me. Maybe I’ll tell you more about yourself. If you impress me that is.” With that, the man sank into the ground and was gone. 

Her team was down. She couldn’t protect them. She was still the weak girl she was before. 

_Move. Now._ Inner said. _Find somewhere defensible to hide them._ Sakura obeyed, numb to everything but the wrath that swirled inside her. She heaved each boy over her shoulders, adrenaline pumping through her and ran. She wanted to put as much distance between the scene of the fight and where she’d keep the boys while they healed. 

She spotted a hideaway at the base of a tree trunk big enough to fit the three of them. She set the boys down gently and got to work concealing the entrance as best as she could. It would do for now. She raided Naruto’s supplies and found plenty of material to make traps with. Sakura wasn’t as skilled as he was but she had to defend them. She wouldn’t fail again. 

By the time she’d set all traps and alarms, their first day in the Forest of Death was drawing to a close. She crawled back into the trunk and changing the damp rags on the boys’ foreheads. Naruto had an awful lump growing on his temple but there was nothing she could do to fix it. 

_He could die and it’d be our fault._ Inner said. Sakura balled her hands into tight fists. Inner was right. She should take them to the tower immediately, screw the exam. But the forest was still littered with enemies. Enemies she couldn’t fight well defending two unconscious bodies. She had to wait for one of them to wake up before moving out. 

Sakura kept watch all night, eating rations and reflecting on the day’s events. The snake man’s words lived heavily in her thoughts. She was filled with a burning resentment for him for hurting her people. But moreover she was dying with curiosity. He knew about everything Inner was capable of. She herself had only learned about Inner’s abilities recently so how could he have known such specifics?. 

Dawn’s light had broken through the thick expanse of forest. Sakura was deciding on whether to move the boys to a spot closer to the tower or leave them here to rest when she heard it. The outermost trap being sprung. It was nothing lethal, more to inform her if someone was coming. A wire hidden by forest floor that when triggered would cause carefully placed rocks to tumble down a hill. She had rigged it in such a way the rockslide would seem natural by the people disturbing the area. 

She didn’t want to leave Naruto and Sasuke alone but she needed to get to a higher vantage point. She made quick work of walking up a tree adjacent to the one the boys were in. Sakura waited, perfectly still and at home balanced on the edge of a branch. The second trap went off and Sakura grinned at the cries of pain as a volley of kunai and shuriken were set off. 

Her smile morphed into a snarl when three shinobi, two men and one woman, wearing Sound hitai ates stepped through the thick of the forest and into the small clearing. They were all injured though not as badly as she would’ve liked.

“Where the fuck is the Uchiha bastard?” The shorter of the two men said. It wasn’t that he was short, she realized the longer she studied the three. He was hunched over so low his sleeves dragged on the ground. 

“Close. I can smell Lord Orochimaru’s chakra nearby.” The woman replied. She was attempting to close a wound where a blade knicked her arm but couldn’t manage to tie it off. The other men didn’t move to help her. 

Sakura nearly fell out of her hiding spot. That name. Everyone in Konoha knew that name. One of the Legendary Sannins, students of the Sandaime. Orochimaru had gone rogue and defected from Konoha. He was a cautionary tale in the village. A warning not to stray too far from the norms. What did that man want with Sasuke?

The Sound shinobis were drawing closer to the base of the tree. The taller man triggered a trap she had based off her survival classes. A wire looped around his ankle and pulled him up in the air like a rabbit. Sakura waited and as soon as the man was level with her, his eyes widening in shock as he met hers, she struck. Her kunai got stuck in his throat and she dropped from the tree, her added weight splitting his skull in two. She landed hard on the ground, the shower of hot blood and gore from above soaking her hair and clothes. 

“Little bitch!” The woman hissed. 

“I’m sorry. Was that your friend?” Sakura taunted. For the first time since she started these cursed exams, she felt good. The satisfaction of killing someone who would hurt her boys drove out any doubt or guilt she might be feeling. She wanted to do it again. 

“I’ll kill you slowly. Lord Orochimaru said everyone who gets between us and Sasuke is free game. He will be so-” Sakura cut the woman off, a powerful stream of water bursting from her mouth. The force of the jet pushed the Sound nin into her final a trap: an explosive tags tripwire. Dirt and debris flew high into the air and a mild earthquake shook the ground. When everything settled the woman was left immobilized on the ground and missing a leg. Marking her off as dead, Sakura turned to the final enemy. 

He had done nothing to help either of his teammates, instead analyzing Sakura’s moves like a hawk. She had no more tricks up her sleeves. The exhaustion from her sleepless night and dwindling chakra reserves made her an easy kill. 

Sakura has faced Momochi Zabuza and lived. She has faced Orochimaru and lived. She refused to die to a spineless man who hid behind the corpses of his allies. 

The Sound nin raised his arms, his sleeves pulling back to reveal strange devices attached to his forearms. A wave of sound erupted from the outstretched arms and it was all Sakura could do not to cover her aching ears. Instead she slapped her palms to the ground and erected a short earth wall. It gave her a moment’s reprieve to think of a counterattack. She had to make this a close combat fight. She was useless at a distance since the shinobi had seen her water jutsu. He could easily avoid it or blast it away with his sound. 

As she tried to think of any skill she had that may help, she recalled Orochimaru’s words. Unmatched speed, he’d said. Speed was never something she focused on during the Academy, her scores were as average as can be. But if he was right about the other things about Inner, maybe…

This time, Sakura had Inner pump the chakra to her legs while she used her control to direct it. Inner said their chakra reacted differently to her and Sakura hoped this was enough to make up for the gap in skill. She sped out from her earth wall just as it crumbled to the force of the sound waves. She was even faster then before, slashing up the nin’s arm before he could even defend himself. Sakura jumped back into the trees and came at him when he swivelled around to see where she had gone. She landed hit after hit, her kunai digging into soft flesh over and over. The shinobi got so desperate he started swinging his destructive sound waves all around him. 

She could’ve killed him several times over. But she wanted to make him hurt. All the hopelessness and rage she had bottled up finally being unleashed. And it felt so good. For once, Sakura was stronger and it made her drunk with power. 

The Sound nin, knowing it was only a matter of time before Sakura grew bored of toying with him, fled into the forest. Her body automatically began to move, to hunt, but she forced herself to stop. She had to protect Sasuke and Naruto. This was all for them, not her petty need for revenge. 

She settled for slitting the female Sound nin’s throat. Sakura didn’t check if she was still alive but the quiet gurgle gave her the answer.

She dragged her feet back to the base of the tree, chakra exhaustion well and truly seeping into her bones. As she crumbled in a heap next to the boys, Sasuke began to stir. She watched as dark patterns swirled from the wound on his neck. They grew until they covered half his face. He sat straight up, eyes wide and struggling to focus on Sakura’s face. He slowly took in her blood soaked state and a bestial growl tore loose from his throat. 

“Who did this to you?” He said. 

“Dead or gone.” She said. His black marks receded until only three dots remained. “I need to sleep. Wake me up in two hours. Then we move. If Naruto isn’t awake by then, we take him straight to the tower.” Sasuke nodded, taking in Naruto’s still form for the first time. She passed out quickly, but not before she saw a soft green light fill the dark cave. 

Her short rest came to an end with a gentle shake of her shoulders. Sakura blinked the weariness away to stare into clear blue eyes filled with worry. She put a hand to Naruto’s temple. The bump was still there but had decreased in size. 

“You okay?” She asked. 

“Are you?” Naruto shot back. Sakura avoided the question and looked around their temporary shelter. Everything had been packed up and cleared. Sasuke knelt at the entrance keeping watch. When he noticed she was awake, he stood up. 

“Let’s go.” He said. 

The three hopped from tree to tree. They came across a lazy river and chose to stop for food. As she bent over the water to inspect for fish, her haggard reflection stared back. Her hair, which had absorbed most of the blood from her fight, was now knotted beyond repair and dyed an awful rust colour. The hair crunched as she grabbed hold of it, flakes of red drifting into the water. She felt stupid for the small pricks of tears that gathered in her eyes. Her hair was the last thing she had that tethered her to the old Sakura. The naive, innocent one whose biggest concern was if Sasuke-kun would like her new dress. She walked over to where the boys were preparing to spear for fish and grabbed a kunai from her pouch. 

“Can one of you cut my hair off, please?” Her voice sounded off, even to her. Monotone and blank. 

“I’m sure a wash will make it better, Sakura-chan. You don’t have to cut it.” Naruto said. 

“No!” Her composure slipped and she nearly screamed the word. “No. Please. I just want it gone. I don’t want it.” Sasuke took the blade from her tight grip and gestured for her to sit down. He methodically cut the worst of the locks and left her with hair that reached barely past her ears. The cool breeze on her neck was foreign but not awful. She could learn to live with this. 

After breakfast, the team tried to strategize. They had lost a day and a half already. Every moment they wasted was one less scroll for them to steal. With all the teams so spread out, it would be impossible for Sakura to locate. Not to mention she still wasn’t recovered from the fights. Just as they were wondering if the scroll they carried held some clues, a figure strolled up to their campsite. 

“Wouldn’t open that if I were you.” Kabuto said. Naruto seemed happy to see the older boy but Sasuke and Sakura kept a polite distance. He may have been from Konoha as well but village loyalties don’t matter in the exams. 

_So why’s he helping us?_ Inner wasn’t as keyed up like the last time she’d met Kabuto but her voice was heavily laced with suspicion. 

It turned out Kabuto already had both the heaven and earth scrolls. He offered to help them get the earth scroll they needed in exchange for escorting him to the tower. His team had gotten spilt up somehow and he speculated that there would be enemies closer to the tower lying in wait to jump people. 

The forest travel was monotonous enough that Sakura’s mind began to wander. Her thoughts drifted, as they always seemed to, back to Ino. Her brave, wonderful Ino. She prayed to any god listening that the forest was being kinder to her first friend then it had been to her. 

Naruto and Kabuto, who were leading the charge, came to a stop so the group could rest. They had been travelling for hours. Sakura handed out the few rations they had left. 

“How much further is this place?” Naruto groaned, fully lying down on the ground. Kabuto didn’t respond and was instead scanning the area in a slow circle. 

“We’ve been here before.” He said softly. The shadows casted from the trees darkened and from them, silhouettes of a tall, lanky figures rose up. Dozens of them and Sakura could see it was all the same man wearing a gas mask that covered most of his face. His wheezy laugh filled the air. 

“Took you long enough to notice.” Sakura didn’t recognize the nin’s hitai ate. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t know him and he was trying to fight her team. So she wanted him dead. The man’s clones launched kunais at the four and the constant dodging made it difficult to strategize. 

“They’re genjutsu illusions!” Kabuto cried out. “We need to find the real one.” 

Sasuke activated his sharingan but as soon as he did the mark on his neck glowed bright and he cried out in pain. Naruto tried to bust through all the illusions at once with his shadow clones but to no effect. While the clones kept the illusions busy, Sakura signed to her team members. 

“I sense. Naruto bind. Sasuke kill.” The boys gave a nod and she set the plan in motion. She was hoping, unlike with shadow clones, a genjutsu illusion wouldn’t give off the same chakra level as the creator. And she was right. With her Sensing, she saw no false enemies. Instead there was a haze of chakra surrounding the area. The chakra trails lead to an individual hidden a few meters away. 

“There, Naruto!” Sakura pointed in the direction of the enemy. Naruto wasted no time and three chains burst from his chest. They followed Sakura’s finger and wrapped around the shinobi before he could relocate. Sasuke ran up and buried his kunai deep into the man’s chest. He gave a grunt of pain before falling forward and digging the blade deeper inside him. 

“Come out and surrender your scroll.” Sakura looked up directly at the hiding place of what she assumed were the man’s teammates, pushing a wave of killer intent out for good measure. The men dropped down, placed their scroll on the ground and ran off into the woods.

Naruto picked up the scroll and let out a whoop, “Earth! We did it!” 

“Very impressive. You three work well together.” Kabuto said. He pointed behind them and in the distance, the tower could be seen. “It’s only a half hour travel to the finish line. I’ll meet you guys there.” 

“You’re not coming with?” Naruto asked. 

“I can sense my teammates nearby. I’d rather meet up with them first. Thanks for the help.” Kabuto waved and darted off into the trees. The three didn’t waste any time, running through the forest as fast as they could to make it to the tower without stumbling across more enemies. 

They were all panting heavily as they walked through the entrance and into a massive room, Naruto plopping down once they reached the middle. On one wall was a poem with missing words. Sakura was, frankly, too exhausted to solve a riddle so she sat down to catch her breath with her head in Naruto’s lap while Sasuke tried to figure it out. Eventually, he opened both scrolls at once and clouds of smoke poured from the paper. When the room cleared, Iruka-sensei was there.

“Congratulations team 7! You’ve passed the second section of the chuunin exams.” His smile soft with fondness as he looked at his former students. Naruto was about to launch into a story about their adventures but Sakura spoke first. 

“Sensei, these two need medical attention.” Iruka’s face grew serious and he led them to what appeared to be a hospital wing within the tower. The medics took care of Naruto’s injured head easily. But when Sasuke got up on the hospital bed and they inspected his new mark, they frowned. As they were doing preliminary scans with their chakra, Kakashi strolled into the room. 

“Ah good to see you all, my little students.” He smiled with his eyes. Sakura was hoping the medics would be able to get rid of whatever marred Sasuke’s neck but it seemed it was more complicated then a medical issue. Asking Kakashi for help was the last thing she wanted to do. The last time she’d needed him, he left her out to dry. But Sasuke was important enough for her to swallow her pride. 

“Orochimaru was in the forest.” She said. The two senseis looked to her in alarm, Kakashi’s only marginally better concealed then Iruka’s. “He gave Sasuke that bite.” 

“Are you sure?” Kakashi said. When she confirmed and gave a description of the man they’d fought, he asked Iruka to guard Sasuke while he informed the Hokage. 

“Hey Sakura, how’d you know that guy’s name?” Naruto asked. 

“When you two were out, some followers of his came to kill Sasuke. They said Sasuke had Lord Orochimaru’s chakra in him.” 

“Is that how you got…” He gestured vaguely to her new short hair. 

“Yeah.” 

“How many did you kill?” Sasuke said. 

“Two. The third ran away.” The group fell quiet. They sat together on the too small hospital bed and waited for their sensei to return. 

The next few days were spent with Sasuke under constant guard while the jonins tried to figure out what the mark was. They concluded in the end that it was a curse mark and a difficult binding ritual was needed to seal it. Unfortunately, by the time they came up with the solution, the week was up and all the genins who had passed the second exam were called into a main waiting area. 

Seven teams lined up in front of the Sandaime and a few other representatives from different villages. The Hokage congratulated them for moving on to the final exam. He explained the next exam was to test individual capabilities in the form of one on one fights. The Sound nin she had fought before was allowed to participate on that basis since the rest his team was dead. 

The Hokage asked if anyone would like to drop out at this point and Kabuto’s team raised their hands. Naruto yelled at him, demanding to know why he wasn’t pushing himself and Kabuto claimed exhaustion. Sakura didn’t understand his reasoning nor did she care. All it meant was three less potential opponents.

She zoned out as the Sandaime gave a small speech on the importance of the chuunin exams and the strength of the allied countries. She studied the other village representatives and found herself staring at the man with the Sound hitai ate. His eyes were already trained in her direction and he gave her a smirk that raised the hairs on her neck. 

As she watched, his eyes flickered into familiar yellow slitted ones. Orochimaru was standing directly behind her Hokage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is by far my fave chapter just cause Sakura gets to go apeshit and it was hella fun to write. I love my feral child.


	6. Chapter 6

Sakura came to two realizations at the same time as she was locked into a staring contest with the most infamous man in Fire country. First, that she didn’t feel as panicked as she should have been given the situation. Her main concern was whether Orochimaru would try to hurt her boys again. She didn’t care that he was in the best position possible to assassinate the Sandaime. 

The other realization is that Orochimaru seemed to know that. He purposefully revealed himself to her and knew she wouldn’t sound the alarm. Whatever glamour he wore shifted back into place and he purposefully avoided her gaze for the rest of the speech. She was so distracted that she missed the match line ups until Naruto was shaking her shoulder. 

“Let’s go find seats until our turn.” He said, taking her hand. As they settled into their seats with all the jonin instructors lined up behind them, the first pair of fighters made their way into the centre of the arena. 

She never really spoke to either Shino or Kiba at the Academy but she knew a bit about their fighting styles. The two hailed from respectable Konoha clans. It was a bugs versus dog fight. It was an interesting match to watch mostly because she had never seen Aburame insects used in a real fight. Shino managed to pull out a win with his insects messing with Kiba and Akamaru’s sense of smell. They couldn’t find Shino among the swarm and Shino knocked out Kiba from behind. 

The next match had Shikamaru facing a girl named Tenten. Sakura was mesmerized watching the older girl. In the large scroll she carried she pulled out weapon after weapon and handled them all with ease. At one point she leaped high into the air, unfurled the scroll fully and a hail of projectiles covered the arena. Shikamaru was forced to keep on the move in order to not get hit. Being on the defensive left him no time to use his shadow possession. 

When it seemed Shikamaru’s movements slowed and his breathing grew heavy, Tenten rushed at him with a katana to end the match. When she drew near, Shikamaru formed a sign and the girl froze. His shadow caught her the moment she wasn’t paying attention to it. He raised his arm and Tenten put her sword against her neck. The proctor called the match in Shikamaru’s favour. 

Then it was Sakura’s name being called. Naruto gave her words of encouragement and Sasuke patted her arm. She made her way to the arena and had a clear view of the audience. She saw the Hokage sitting in a private booth. Beside him was a Suna jonin and Orochimaru. She forced her attention back to the opponent who now stood opposite her. It was the Sound nin. He was all but snarling at her as the two waited for the proctor to start the match. 

“Third match will be Haruno Sakura of Konohagakure versus Dosu of Otogakure. Match can end through knockout, forfeit or death. Once I declare the match over, all fighting must cease. Do the contestants understand?” When they nodded, the proctor stood back and signalled them to start. 

Dosu wasted no time with taunts and went straight on the offensive. From his pouch, he retrieved handfuls of shuriken tossed them into the air and with his sound waves blasted them in Sakura’s direction. She raised her arms to shield her face and some of the shurikens buried themselves into her forearms. 

Sakura pulled out two kunais, one in each hand and charged. With Inner’s speed she was upon Dosu before he could raise his defences. She waited for him to block with his arms and when he took the bait, she went for the sound devices. The metal sparked against her blade. Dosu let out a harsh laugh. 

“It’ll take more then a little girl to break these.” He blasted her away and the force of his sound carried her halfway across the ring. Her ears were deaf to everything but a high pitched whine. Thankfully, outside noise slowly bled into her hearing until the temporary deafness faded away. She had to end this fight before he took another shot like that. 

Sakura sped at him once again, pretending to reuse the same strategy as before. Instead, she took a swipe at Dosu’s neck with her blade. He bent backwards, unprepared for the frontal attack. She grinned, teeth bared and took advantage of his off balance state. She sped behind him, put an arm around his throat and pulled him to the ground with all her weight behind it. It was enough that the two fell hard. She wrapped her legs around his torso, immobilizing him as much as possible.

It was a take down move engrained down to her bones. As Dosu squirmed in her arms and the cheers went up in the crowd, she felt a dissonance rise in her. It was as though she was watching the scene outside of her own body, high above the stadium. The momentary clarity in her actions made her freeze. In her grasp was someone who had tried to kill the people she loved. Why was she sparing him? 

The Academy taught her how to kill but never explicitly talked about the reality of the job these young children were signing up for. It was a school for killers that pretended to be otherwise. And if her village would acknowledge that, acknowledge what they’re asking of their children, maybe Sakura wouldn’t have grown so resentful. But no. Instead they try to sugarcoat the violence. And that ends up with Sakura, terrified and alone and underprepared, facing shinobi that want her dead for the symbol she wears. 

She looks up into the Hokage’s stand and catches Orochimaru’s eyes once more. He had a small amused smile on his face and he raised an eyebrow at her. The question couldn’t have been clearer. Are you going to play their game? And Sakura knew her answer. 

Thankfully, snapping a neck was also a basic Academy skill. 

The sound of her killing blow echoed in the hall and the crowd fell silent in shock. Sakura didn’t break eye contact with the Sannin as his smile morphed from amusement to something wider, sharper. His eyes held something akin to pride. Like when a pet does a trick you’ve worked so hard to teach it. 

She dropped the limp body to the ground and walked out of the arena before the proctor could declare her the winner. The other rookie teams give her a wide berth when she took her place next to the boys. Naruto and Sasuke said nothing but their silence is a welcome one. She can’t answer their questions. Kakashi, of course, doesn’t get her need for space and put a hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t know if it was to admonish or comfort her but she twists out of his reach nonetheless. 

“You need to see the medic.” He said. She’d forgotten the cuts her body had been littered with during the fight. Kakashi forced her to stand and escorted her to a recovery room within the arena. He stayed silent as the med-nins healed her and asked she rest for a bit. As they left, Sakura made to get up and watch the other matches when Kakashi finally spoke up. 

“The first is always the hardest.” He said.

Sakura always thought her first kill would be difficult and she’d only do it when there was no other choice. When it was her or her opponent and one of them wasn’t walking away. And her first was like that. But she didn’t have to kill that female Sound nin. She wanted to. Just like she wanted to snap that man’s neck. 

“It wasn’t my first and it was the easiest thing in the world.” She said. She relished a bit in his confused silence and refused to elaborate. Not to this man. When he realized she wasn’t going to share, he sighed. 

“Sakura, how can your sensei help you if you don’t talk to him?” Every since she was put on team 7, a coil had been tightening inside Sakura. Every dismissal and rejection by her sensei caused that coil to wound up. Now it had finally snapped.

“Help? Like how I needed your help after Wave and you said I needed the experience? Well, I have a body count now, Sensei. Is that enough experience?” She saw him flinch back a bit at her sharp words but Sakura didn’t care. 

“I wasn’t someone who could help you through that trauma and I knew that. That’s why I sent you to the Wellness centre.”

“Did you think a few therapy sessions would turn me back into a naive little girl, too soft for a shinobi’s life? Or should we talk about how you helped me by never training me and always separating me from Sasuke and Naruto? You know I hate the word kunoichi now because that’s all you ever called me. Like I’m less then them.” She was shouting now. All the words she wanted to say to him were pouring out of her.

“You’ve never helped me once since I’ve been assigned to your team and I sure as hell don’t need it now that I’m finally becoming stronger.”

“Killing isn’t strength.” He said with a whisper. He was looking in her direction but he never looked at her. Bitter resentment burned her as it made its way up her throat. She was finally confronting the man who spent more time reading porn then training her and he couldn’t even look her in the eyes. She didn’t know she was moving until she was standing next to Kakashi, her hand lifting his hitai ate to reveal his sharingan.

“This makes you remember everything, right Copy-nin?” Her voice was thick with poison. “Then I want you to know that if it was up to you, I’d be dead by now. You’ve failed me in every way a sensei can.” With that she stormed out of the room. She found an empty hallway and put her head in her knees, trying to fight the oncoming panic attack. 

_Wish you let me say something._ She and Inner had been so in sync lately she hadn’t felt the need to speak. But Sakura felt a bit reassured. It was nice having someone in her corner. She calmed herself down using Azumi’s grounding techniques. When she felt ready she walked back to her seat. From the entrance she could see that only Naruto was sat in team 7’s seats. In the arena, a match already underway between Sasuke and Hinata. 

It could hardly be called a fight. Hinata was a skilled taijutsu fighter but she lacked the will to hurt others. Earlier, Kakashi had warned Sasuke not to use any chakra during his match as the mark’s curse would spread quicker and hurt him. However, it didn’t seem to matter and the match was over when he grappled the Hyuuga heir to the ground.

Instead of going back to his seat, Sasuke was being led out of the stadium by Kakashi. Sasuke had a firm grip over his curse mark. Kakashi had mentioned before he was going to seal the curse as soon as possible. She glanced up towards the Hokage’s seats. Orochimaru was gone. Her stomach filled with leaden dread. 

She was on the floor above Kakashi and Sasuke and she lost sight of them when the walked out of the arena. She had to warn them. Sakura ran back the way she came, activating her Sensing as she flew down flights of stairs. With so many shinobi in the building, the feedback she got was overwhelming. But she knew how Sasuke’s chakra felt so she forced herself to tune everything else out. She finally pinpointed him moving downwards. The tower must have a basement. 

She resolutely ignored how rotten her teammate’s chakra felt. 

By the time she entered the dark underground floor, Sasuke was sitting in the middle of a circle of symbols she didn’t recognize. The symbols were written on his bare arms and legs as well. Kakashi had his eyes closed, brows furrowed in concentration. As she watched, the glyphs glowed a pale blue. They shifted as though they had a mind of their own and moved up Sasuke’s body. The glow brightened and flooded the basement in light. When it died down, there was a new circle entrapping the curse mark. Sakura walked up to them once it was clear the ritual was over. 

Sasuke took one look at her face and asked, “What’s wrong?” 

“He’s here. We have to go.” 

“How sweet of you to come running to save him.” A voice called out from the shadowed corner. Orochimaru was in his true form once again, his long dark hair a stark contrast to his ghost white face. For the first time since they met, Sakura and Kakashi moved as one, both taking up defensive positions in front of Sasuke. The Sannin cocked his head to the side. “Is the Copy-nin going to fight me now?” 

“If I must.” Kakashi held his palm down to the the floor and a ball of lightening formed in his hand. It arched and sparked in different directions though it never hit Sakura. 

“As fun as that would be you’re not why I’m here.” He said. He finally looked at Sakura with the same pride she’d seen before. “I wanted to thank you for keeping Sasuke safe. I knew I could count on you.”

“I didn’t do it for you.” She spat. Orochimaru laughed a bit, the sound hoarse and breathy. 

“All the better. And you’re turning into a fine killer. You truly have exceeded all my expectations.” Sakura crushed the small part inside her that had preened at the praise.

“Why do you keep talking like you know me? You said you’d tell me.”

“Yes I suppose I did. But I wouldn’t be who I am today if I was a man of my word.” He formed a sign with two raised fingers and disappeared in smoke. Kakashi’s lightening sputtered out. She turned to kneel next to Sasuke, fingers brushing over the new sealed mark. 

“It won’t hurt him anymore?” Though her question was directed at Kakashi, she kept her eyes on her teammate. 

“No. The seal is effective as long as Sasuke doesn’t choose to activate the curse.” She offered Sasuke her hand and helped him to his feet. The three made their way back to the stadium to catch the last of the matches. Naruto had moved to sit with Ino’s team though Ino herself was nowhere to be seen. 

“Hey you guys are back! The next fight is about to-” Before Naruto could finish, the proctor’s voice interrupted.

“Sixth match will be Yamanaka Ino of Konohagakure versus Temari of Sunagakure.” Sasuke and Sakura took their seats and the fight began. It was a bad match up for her friend. Ino-Shika-Cho was a brutal combo but it worked because the three balanced each other out. Alone, Ino couldn’t do anything to counter Temari’s long range fan attacks. Sakura’s heart clenched with every blow the Suna girl landed.

The match was proclaimed over when Temari summoned a mini tornado that carried Ino high into the air and dropped her. Her body hit the ground hard, angled oddly. She didn’t get back up. The medics rushed into the arena and Ino was taken away. 

“She’ll be okay right?” She asked no one in particular. She didn’t remember jumping up from her seat.

“The medics will fix her up in no time.” Ino’s sensei responded. She had never formally met Sarutobi Asuma but she knew of him as the son of the Hokage. They looked at each other with the vague politeness that comes with having a mutual acquaintance. She nudged Naruto with her shoulder.

“Did I miss your fight?” 

“No the only one you missed was between the two Suna guys. And one of them forfeited right away. It was lame.”

“Guess he didn’t wanna fight his teammate?” The next match’s fighters were also from the same team. It was the boy with the green spandex and the Hyuuga. Behind Sakura, standing next to Kakashi was who she assumed to be their jonin sensei. He looked identical to the other boy down to the bowl cut and spandex. 

“Lee! Neji! May you fight passionately with the power of youth and springtime flowing through your hearts!” The man cried with tears and snot running down his face. 

“Gai-sensei!” Lee was also crying though he wiped his eyes as the proctor called for the fight to begin. It was the most evenly matched battle so far. Save for Neji’s activated byakugan, it was a pure taijutsu fight. 

The speed the two boys fought at left her breathless. At first Sakura thought the boys were trading blows equally. But once she looked closely it became obvious Lee was taking a lot more hits. It was hard to believe, the way he fought, it didn’t even seem like he was injured. Eventually, Neji managed to hit a pressure point in Lee’s neck. His eyes rolled back but Neji caught him before he fell to the ground. Sakura could tell Lee was the type who wouldn’t have stopped fighting short of being rendered unconscious and she admired him greatly for it. The proctor declared the match over and Naruto jumped out of his seat. 

“Finally!” He made his way to the arena, Choji following behind him. Choji was a lot like Hinata in that he avoid confrontation. But she knew when the bullying got too vicious, Choji was known to defend himself and defend himself well. But it was clear from the start his heart wasn’t in the battle. He half heartedly swiped at Naruto’s dozens of clones. 

“C’mon Choji! Show them what you got!” Asuma called down. The words seemed to stir something inside of the boy. He used his clan’s hidden technique, Human Boulder and flattened all of Naruto’s clones in one roll. He couldn’t keep up the form for long however and Naruto was an endless reserve of shadow clones. It took five of them to fully pin Choji down. The proctor had the winners reenter the arena. The Hokage congratulated them on moving to the next round. 

“The exam will continue in one month’s time. During this time, come up with strategies using what you learned today to defeat your next opponent. I hope you were watching carefully.” Behind him, the scoreboard revealed the future matches. Sasuke’s name caught her eye first. He was matched against the red haired boy from Suna. He reeked of killer intent and she was nervous for her teammate. Lower down the list she found her name.

It was opposite Naruto’s name. 

She felt nauseous at the sight of her name set against his. She tried to remind herself that this wasn’t real. It wasn’t a real fight. She would never choose to hurt him. But to fight him would go against everything she’d been working for. She was lost in thought and didn’t realize her team had made their way out of the tower. 

“Wait. I wanted to see Ino.” She tried to turn back but Sasuke grabbed her arm. 

“They’re moving the injured people to the hospital. You can see her there.” 

The walk to the Konoha hospital was mercifully short. Choji, Shikamaru and Asuma accompanied them though Kakashi slipped away at some point. The nurse told them Ino was ready for visitors but only a few at a time. Ino’s team went up first leaving team 7 alone in the lobby. Sasuke’s eyes were wide, taking in every detail of the bustling hospital. 

She was glad for the wait before she got to see here friend. It gave her a moment to think about all that had happened. Her conversation with Kakashi came rushing back. It felt so good to finally speak her mind. She didn’t regret it but there was an inkling of fear that creeped its way into her heart. He was still her sensei and that gave him power of her. Power to take her off the team, claim that she is unsuitable. Sakura didn’t know what she’d do if he tried to separate her from her boys. But she knew it would be bloody. 

And then there was Orochimaru’s reappearance. The only good thing to come from him showing up in the basement was that now she was off the hook on being obligated to tell someone he was there for the whole exam. She didn’t want to be questioned on why she didn’t say anything right away. She still wasn’t sure herself. That was a lie. She had to know what he had meant by calling her his experiment. 

“Hey Sakura-chan.” Naruto said, interrupting her train of thought. He was staring at the floor, brows scrunched in thought. “Why did you kill that guy?” The words drenched her with ice cold shock. 

“I…I don’t know how to explain.” She whispered. “I had to.” 

“You didn’t!” His head snapped up and his blue eyes held an anger she’d never seen in Naruto before. It burned brighter then the sun. “It was wrong. I know you had to kill people in the forest to save us and I love you for that. But you didn’t have to kill in that fight.”

Sakura couldn’t comprehend the anger. The Sound nin didn’t matter. Their future would be filled with corpses. Who cares if she got an early start? Not to mention how Orochimaru had goaded her like he could read her mind and see how full of apathy she was. 

“Sorry.” Was what she settled on. She was spared any awkward silence when the nurse and team Asuma came back to the lobby. Before she could follow the nurse, Asuma waved her to the side. Naruto and Sasuke walked on ahead while Choji and Shikamaru headed to the exit. 

“I know we’ve never spoken before but it wouldn’t sit well with me if I didn’t say this.” He said. “Ino needs people by her side right now. I want to make sure she has good people. Do you understand?” His eyes bore into hers. It took her a moment before realization hit and when it did, hot embarrassment was not far behind. 

“I would never hurt Ino.” She said, punctuating every word. “She means everything to me.” They stared each other down and Asuma eventually nodded. 

“You should catch up.” They turned away from each other at the same time, Sakura running to before she lost sight of the boys. Her heart was pounding from the confrontation. A spark of rage deep in her chest grew with every beat. Ino was one of her people and Sakura would die before hurting her. 

Ino was gazing out of the window when team 7 walked in. Her hair was down for once and she looked different. Older. She held a quiet dignity that no one but Ino could have while being bruised head to toe. One of her legs was wrapped in a heavy cast. She startled a bit when the three came in but relaxed when she saw who it was. 

Sakura took the chair placed next to the bed and help her friend’s hand. Ino laced their fingers and the two stayed like that for several moments. Sasuke and Naruto both stood off to the side, giving the girls space. 

“I couldn’t even touch her.” Ino said, breaking the silence. Her voice was low and raspy. “I didn’t land a single hit.” 

“Then we get stronger. And do better at the next exams. Its not the end, Ino.” 

“I know. But I didn’t know I was so…so weak.” It was as though Sakura was looking at her past self after the fight with Zabuza. The self hatred was written plainly on Ino’s face and it cut Sakura deeply to see it. 

They fell quiet once more before a nurse came to inform them visiting hours were over. She hadn’t realized how late in the day it was already. After making several promises to visit Ino the next day, the three left the hospital to head home. They all fell asleep as soon as they hit their beds, the long day finally taking its toll. 

The next morning, Sakura was the first awake setting the table with three breakfasts. Naruto came down as soon as the food was done cooking, like clockwork. But instead of sitting down to scarf down the meal, he was waving a piece of paper in a panic. 

“Sakura-chan read this!” He handed her the note. 

_Hello my cute little students,_

__

__

_I’ve taken Sasuke out of the village for some specialized training. He’s going to need it if he’s going to survive his fight against Gaara of the Sand. A tutor will be meeting you today, Naruto. Sakura you’ve done well in your training so take this time to work on some meditation._

__

__

_See you in a month,_

__

__

_Kakashi-sensei._

She had to read the short letter three times before the message sank in. Kakashi had done it again. He was relegating her to the side. Nothing she had said to him had mattered. And he stole Sasuke from her home. Her skin crawled at the thought of someone slipping in at night and carrying one of her boys away while she slept down the hall. She crumpled the paper in her fist and demanded Inner to find Sasuke. 

Inner’s fury needed no prompting and it exploded within her. Her Sensing reached heights it had never gone before. Before she could barely cover the civilian district. Now with the help of pure desperation, her range grew until she could see all of Konoha. It was as though she was in flight, weaving through the streets and high above buildings. And she couldn’t find Sasuke anywhere. She couldn’t maintain the range for long and her chakra snapped back into herself. When it did, she collapsed to the ground, exhausted and in distress. 

She must have blacked out because the next thing she was aware of was lying flat on her back on the cool floor of the kitchen. Naruto was sitting cross legged beside her and smiled when he noticed her stirring. 

“He’s gone.” Her voice cracked. 

“To train. We’re gonna be training too. Can’t let the teme get ahead of us, ttebayo.” He helped her off the floor and the two finished their breakfast in silence. Naruto eventually left to meet with his temporary sensei. He asked if Sakura would come with and she was tempted but declined. She didn’t seem to have the best of luck with teachers lately. Not to mention showing up uninvited and demanding training was way outside her comfort zone. 

As he walked out the door, Sakura realized it was the first time in over a month she’d been alone. She used to spend all her time alone but now without her boys next to her, it was disorienting, like she’d lost a limb. The quiet of the house was a physical weight on her shoulders. She couldn’t stop whipping her head around, expecting someone to come up behind her. Her back felt unbearably exposed and she couldn’t stop thinking about how easily Kakashi had gotten in. 

Sakura decided to visit Ino. She had stopped by the Yamanaka flower shop to gather up a bouquet of chrysanthemums, forget-me-nots and red carnations. When she entered Ino’s hospital room, Shikamaru and Choji were already there, mid card game.

“Bad time?” She asked as she walked in. Ino smiled brightly at Sakura, her whole face lighting up. Sakura stumbled over her feet a bit but recovered quickly, handing Ino the bouquet. “I thought you’d like these.” 

“Thank you, Sakura.” Ino cooed. She turned the bouquet, inspecting each flower with a trained eye. “Do you know what these mean?”

“No I chose the ones that made me think of you. Why?” Ino’s face grew pink as she set the flowers down next to her bed. 

“No reason. Come sit we’ll deal you in.” Ino shifted to make room for Sakura to sit next to her. Shikamaru explained the rules and she picked it up after a few rounds. As they played, Sakura told them how she didn’t know what to do know that she was sensei-less for the month. 

“You should train with our team.” Ino bumped Sakura’s shoulder. 

“I don’t think Asuma likes me.” 

“He’s a softie. If you tell him you need help, he’ll help.” Choji said. From out in the hall, several shouts could be heard. A flash of green ran into their room and looked around panicked. 

“Hide me!” Rock Lee ducked in between Choji and Shikamaru just as a nurse ran by the door. 

“Have you seen a boy your age come by?” She panted. “He’s trying to leave against medical advice.” The four shook their heads and the nurse moved on. 

“Thank you, my friends.” Lee popped back up. “I am too far behind in my training and would prefer not to stay here any longer.” 

“It’s been a day.” Shikamaru drawled. 

“Exactly! I am off to do a hundred laps around the village. Would any of you care to join me?” Lee had started stretching to warm up. Something clicked in her brain as she watched him. That’s what she needed. His dedication was everything she’d ever wanted and Sakura found herself standing as well. 

“I will.” Four faces with identical looks of shock turned to face her. “I don’t think I can start at a hundred though.” 

“What a show of youth and passion! You must meet Gai-sensei.” Lee sprinted off into the hospital without warning and Sakura shouted her goodbyes to the group before giving chase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp here it is. The confrontation. I hope I'm accurately conveying that while Sakura is totally justified going off on Kakashi, she's still a kid who does insensitive things. Tell me what y'all think about it! 
> 
> Also this fic isnt going to have any romance cause I'm uncomfortable writing 13 year olds fall in love but I live for childhood crushes so please enjoy the SakuIno crumbs. If you're curious, here's the meaning of the bouquet she gave Ino. 
> 
> Chrysanthemum is a symbol of loyalty and devoted love  
> Forget-Me-Nots symbolize true love  
> Red carnation symbolize My Heart aches for you; Admiration


	7. Chapter 7

Normally, Sakura would be worried if she couldn’t feel her legs. But as she lay in the grass, still damp with morning dew, she only felt satisfaction. She had been training with Maito Gai for a week and loved every moment of it. When Lee had introduced them, they got on like a house on fire. The difference between Gai and Kakashi in how they treated her could not have been more different. Gai always pushed her but never so far that it bordered on hurting her. She took initiative from the get go, laying out what she wanted from training and he cried a bit when she showed him a tentative workout schedule.

“How far did you get today, my pupil?” Gai was starting easy this morning, running through the village backwards. He came to stop next to her and sat cross legged in the grass.

“I got three quarters around this time.” She stretched out her arm and Gai gave her a high five. 

“Incredible! Your spirit grows in leaps and bounds each day.” He said. “You know, today is your off day. You needn’t have come out so early. Proper rest is just as important as vigorous training.” 

“I know, sensei. I just wanted a morning run.” Sakura loved her new routine. She felt like a proper shinobi. First, Gai wanted to build her stamina up until she could run a full lap around Konoha. She still remembers his forced smile when she told him Kakashi hadn’t given her any sort of training regime. 

Everyday she’d wake up early, run as far as she could on the village walls before taking a rest and repeating the process. The first day she’d shocked herself by making halfway before being unable to move for awhile. Slowly she’d gotten further and further. The rush of endorphins she’d gotten when she passed the 3/4 mark was the most alive she’d felt since the forest. 

It was almost enough to stave off her awakened bloodlust. 

Sakura had felt changes in herself since her first kills. She relieved each one every night in gory detail. She thought of different ways, different traps she could have used to kill the Sound-nin. Inner, in particular, loved these trains of thought and it was all Sakura could do not to let these bloodthirsty feelings slip into her daily life. 

Gai sent her home, reminding her to eat something filling. “Tomorrow we start sparring!” He called out. 

It wasn’t like she was on a diet before but now that she was regularly expending huge amounts of energy, she found that she had to eat a lot more to match. Sakura travelled by rooftop to get home, relishing in the feeling of launching in the air and free falling. The journey ended too soon for her liking and she made her way inside. 

“Naruto, you home?” She called out. The two remaining members of team 7 haven’t had much time to talk the past week. They both were so exhausted after their respective day of training they passed out immediately when they got home just to leave early the next day. 

“I’m grabbing some food before my training.” Naruto said, running downstairs and stuffing his feet into his shoes. “Wanna come?” She nodded and the two were off, arms linked. She shouldn’t have been surprised when he pulled her into Teuchi’s ramen shop but Sakura was too hungry to argue. 

As they ate, the two traded stories on what their week had been like. Hers paled in comparison to Naruto’s. Apparently his first tutor was a closet perv and Naruto didn’t want him as a teacher. That had somehow lead him into the path of…

“Jiraiya-sama? As in the legendary Toad Sannin, Jiraiya-sama?” 

“Yeah! He’s pretty pervy too but I think he can teach me a bunch about seals. He fixed the one on my stomach so I can talk to the Fox now. And Pervy Sage said he trained with Uzumakis to learn fuinjutsu! So this is like the best thing ever.” He went on to describe how he could finally control his chakra well enough to stand on water. 

“It’s crazy if I hadn’t used my sexy jutsu to convince him to teach me, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this stuff!” Sakura froze, her chopsticks halfway in her mouth. 

“What did you say?” 

“Well Pervy Sage wanted to spend his day peeping in the bathhouse, not training a kid. So I used my sexy jutsu and he was on board after that. Pretty smart, huh?” Naruto continued slurping down his noodles but she had lost all her appetite. 

At the Academy, the kunoichis had to take extra classes detailing all aspects of sexual harassment. They were uncomfortable to get through and more then one girl protested that it was unfair only the kunoichis needed the classes when boys could be sexually assaulted as well. And sitting in front of her was the consequences of that decision. What Naruto described was a gross misuse of power. The first time she let him out of her sight and he’s taken advantage of. Her blood sang for justice. 

“Are you meeting Jiraiya-sama soon?” She asked, mustering as much calmness as she could. “I wanna meet him.”

“Oh shit! I’m late!” Naruto drank the soup out of his bowl, slamming down some coins. “Let’s go.” Sakura slide out of her booth but not before dropping her wallet under the table. Naruto led her to the bridge Jiraiya would be meeting him at. 

“Pervy Sage! This is my friend and teammate Sakura-chan.” She gave a small bow. 

“Nice to meet you, Jiraiya-sama.” She said. It was one of the times Sakura wished politeness wasn’t engraved down to her bones. 

“Naruto you could get a clue from this one. It’s called respect.” Jiraiya flicked Naruto’s forehead. It was as they were play fighting Sakura pretended to check her pockets. 

“I think I left my wallet at the restaurant. Naruto could you grab it for me?” He was off before she’d finished speaking. She felt bad for the deception but she needed to talk to Jiraiya in private. 

“So you’re on Kakashi’s team too?” Jiraiya asked after a minute of silence. Sakura glared up at him with a blank expression. 

“If you ever ask Naruto to use his sexy jutsu for your own pleasure again, I’ll chop off your balls and feed them to you.” As she spoke, she pushed her killing intent out as strongly as she could. It was the first time she’d unleashed it since the exams and she savoured the heady feeling. Her bloodlust felt different, denser. On the edges it was tinged with what Orochimaru's killing intent felt like. She felt powerful. Of course, she didn’t stand a chance against the Toad Sannin. But she would be dead before she let him take advantage of Naruto ever again.

Jiraiya gulped before stammering out, “Right right no problem. Won’t happen again.” When she reeled in her killing intent, he let out a breath. “Jeez. You’re just like her.” Before Sakura could ask who he was talking about, Naruto came running back on the bridge, wallet in hand. 

“Thank you, Naruto. I’ll let you two get to training.” She gave her teammate a hug, Jiraiya a pointed glare and walked off the bridge. 

Sakura spent the rest of her day at the hidden library of scrolls. The room felt bigger without her boys to fill the space but the wealth of knowledge at her disposal kept her busy. She was on a quest. Gai would join her on some runs when his team was done for the day and would simultaneous give her lectures on fighting styles across the Five Nations. He told her of Suna puppetry, Kumo and their unique mix of ninjutsu and taijutsu and Kiri kenjutsu. When he mentioned the seven swordsmen of the Mist, Sakura tripped over her feet and played it off as clumsiness. 

“So all their swords have special properties?” She had asked.

“Yes and all deadlier then you can imagine.” Gai had, for the first time since she’d met him, looked sad when spoke. She was torn on dragging on a topic that was upsetting him but her thirst for knowledge won out. 

“If there’s always seven, what happens when one of them gets too old?”

“None of the Swordsmen tend to live to old age. Its a part of the nature of carrying such powerful weapons. Anyone who is able to kill a Swordsmen is granted the right to wield their sword. Because of this, they are challenged constantly and always die relatively young.”

“Anyone? Even if they’re not from Kiri?” Gai regarded her curiously. 

“Yes. At least, the current Mizukage has not forbidden it. I think he enjoys keeping them on their toes.” He moved on in the lecture but Sakura’s thoughts were spinning widely. After Wave, her ambitions had revolved around her boys. She was getting stronger to stay by their side. But as she remember the huge blade that had nearly taken her life, for the first time, Sakura had a goal of her own, one that she would keep close to her heart. Sakura wanted the catalyst of her transformation strapped to her back. 

The Demon of the Mist owed her a fight and she aimed to collect. 

The scrolls in the underground room were mostly about ninjutsu but after a solid half hour of opening and closing rolls of paper, she found a few with detailed descriptions of fight styles. Some she had to dismiss off the bat. They either were too passive for her liking, more defence oriented or she just didn’t have the strength needed. But one scroll called out to her the moment she unrolled it. 

It was a dual wielding kenjutsu style. One blade would be long while the second, a short blade. The katas drawn on the paper flowed smoothly into each other. She could envision clearly how one would dance around their opponent like water itself and strike powerfully on the offence while using speed and dexterity as defence. She wanted to cry, finding such a perfect blend. 

By the time she left, scroll stuffed in her pocket, night had fallen and the drawings were burnt into her mind. Even as she lay in bed, Sakura felt like she was in motion. She had to meditate to quell the itch for blood that rose inside her as she imagined cutting down hoards of enemies.

She dreams of that power again. 

It’s nearly identical to her last one. The haze of buried memories that dulls the edges of the dream but not the feeling of being invincible. But this time, someone is there. Hiding just outside her periphery is a partner. They have her back, they fight in sync. If she turns her head quick enough she can see long brown hair trailing behind someone before its gone again. When the fight is over, Sakura can’t remember how the battlefield looked before but she is sure there weren’t so many trees. 

The next morning after her warmup run, Sakura lingered on the outside of training ground 22. Gai’s team was in full swing. The exercise they were doing reminded her of Kakashi’s bell test. Lee, Tenten and Neji had flags attached to their waists. They were all trying to steal each others flags while keeping their own safe. The three fought just as hard during training as they did during the exams. The only thing differentiating what Sakura was watching from a real fight was Tenten’s blunted weapons. 

“Sakura, you’ve arrived!” Gai waved her over. “How have your study endeavours gone, my most youthful pupil?”

“Really good. I found this fighting style I really like.” She handed him the scroll. As he read the scroll, his eyes widened, shot to her and then back to the paper. He read in silence for a few moments before handing it back to her. 

“Quite ambition but I have all the faith you’d be able to utilize this style. Your newly growing stamina will help you greatly in learning these katas. As for the dual wielding, I believe our very own weapon mistress would be more then capable of teaching you the basics.” 

The team had finished their spar with Neji holding all three flags. Tenten stretched her arms above her head and walked over to Sakura and Gai. “You mention me?” 

“Perfect timing! Tenten, you remember Sakura?” When Lee had brought her to meet Gai last week, she had briefly been introduced to the other members of the team. “She would like to learn to wield daisho and I thought the experience could help you grow as well. You don’t truly know something until you are able to teach it.”

“Daisho?” Sakura asked. 

“When someone fights with a long blade and a short blade, it’s called daisho.” Tenten said. “And sure, I’ll help you. It’ll be a nice break from these three.” 

Gai got her started on the first kata that day. Tenten had loaned her some wooden swords to hold while doing the kata so she could get a feel for the complete form. By noon, her thighs were burning from holding positions until they felt comfortable. When Gai called for a lunch break, her legs gave out from under her. Lee came to sit next to her, holding a bento in his hands. 

“I noticed you didn’t seem to have a lunch, would you care to share mine?” 

“That’s so kind of you, Lee.” Sakura sat up straight and accepted the chopsticks from Lee. “I was gonna go back home to get some food for an extra run but I don’t think I can walk two steps right now.” 

“A bright idea! I wish I had thought of it.” She tried to eat as little of his lunch as possible but Lee would not stand for it and divided the bento evenly. Tenten came to join them, dragging Neji behind her. Sakura was fascinated by the easy camaraderie between the three. It differed from her own team and Ino’s who Sakura had long held as the standard for teamwork. Even at rest, they moved as a unit. 

“Tenten, your fight in the exams was the coolest thing ever.” Sakura said. “I’ve never seen anyone use so many different types of weapons before.” 

“Thanks! Your fight was…” Tenten trailed off and after a pause, changed topics. “So where are your teammates?” She asked, biting into her onigiri. 

“Kakashi-sensei took Sasuke for some special training and Naruto got another teacher.” 

“Why didn’t he take all of you?” Lee piped up. “Your whole team made it to the finals.” Sakura sighed. 

“He said something about Sasuke needing it more. I’m just glad he organized someone for Naruto before he left.” Though, that also fell through so her sensei had all but left two of his students in the dust. 

“What, I thought he asked Gai-sensei to help you out?” Tenten said. 

“No, Lee gave me the idea to ask your sensei for training. I was kind of at a loss before I bumped into him.” Sakura missed the silent exchange happening between the members of team Gai. 

“You know, with you here we can have duo spars. Any side Gai-sensei joins has way too much of an advantage.” Tenten said. 

“Yes! There are many two person drills we can now do. This will be a most productive time for us all.” Lee said. “What say you, Neji?” The Hyuuga, who had largely ignored her presence up to then, was staring at her intently. Sakura stared right back, a bit distracted by his hair. It looked similar to the long brown hair she'd dreamed on her fighting partner. She decided to take that as a sign. 

“I want to fight you like you fought in the arena.” A thrill of anticipation and fear shot up her spine. “You have broken from your fate as a civilian-born shinobi.” 

“And what fate is that?” She asked, leaning forward. Neji copied her, both refusing to look away first. 

“To be weak. To be the lowest of ranks. But you hold a different spirit within you and I want to test it against mine.” 

“Let me train to the end of the month. Then we’ll fight.” She held out her hand. Sakura couldn’t pass up the opportunity to fight a member of a highly regarded clan. His pale eyes studied her a moment longer before clasping his hand in hers. 

“Break’s over.” Neji dragged her to her feet, the other two following suit. As they all wordlessly settled into fighting stances, Sakura put up her own fists. She smiled in spite of the incoming ass whooping. 

Gai ended the day of training after several bouts, Sakura coming nowhere close to beating any of them. She was lying on the grass, massaging her aching muscles when he came to sit next to her. 

“Any serious injuries, my student?” He asked. 

“No, just a lot of bruises.” She said. “Your team is incredible.” Gai smiled not unlike a proud parent. 

“The Will of Fire burns strongly within them all. As it does with you.” She looked away at that, trying to hide her discomfort. The Will of Fire was an ideology that every Konoha citizen was expected to upheld. It stated that the love one had for the village was what united them and kept them strong. Sakura believed it wholeheartedly at the Academy. But things have changed. She’s changed. How could she love a village that treated Naruto as an enemy? How could she love a village that kept Sasuke at a distance but expected his obedience? How could she love a village that has tried to drown her soul at every turn? She has seen Konoha in a new light and the Will of Fire didn’t run through her anymore. She was pulled from her spiralling thoughts as Gai stood up to leave.

“Get a good night’s rest, Sakura.” She stood as well and when she did, he put a hand on her shoulder. “And please, replace that scroll from where you found it.” With that he jogged out of the field and Sakura was left shaken. 

She made it to the hidden scroll room in record time, placed the scroll gently on a shelf and ran all the way home. 

Thus Sakura’s new routine began. Her mornings started off with a run around the village with her wooden swords in hand. Gai would join on her on the run, call out a kata form which Sakura would immediately drop into. After her run, she was Tenten’s for the rest of the morning. Tenten’s style of teaching was to whale on Sakura until defending with a sword felt natural. 

In the afternoons, she would spar against Lee or Neji. Lee was a patient taijutsu teacher, gently correcting her stances and pausing a spar to give her advice. Neji preferred Tenten’s approach and by the end of the day, her body would be littered with bruises. At night, she’d relish the marks, treating them as badges of honour. 

Her off days would be split between a lunch with Naruto and evenings in the hospital with Ino. The med-nins had offered to numb her nerves during the healing but Ino had refused. Sakura wanted to ask why but as she watched her friend grit her teeth in pain and decided to drop the matter. She threw herself into the supportive role, bringing Ino gifts and sneaking in her favourite snacks every week. 

She dreams more and more of that untouchable power. It’s even started to creep into her meditation sessions to increase her chakra reserves. It provides an introspection she never had before. She can clearly visual Inner’s chakra now. It was as Inner had described, locked deep inside Sakura’s own chakra. The two chakra energies swirled around each other, water and earth. Not quite opposites but resistant to work together. They never melded but little by little Sakura would try to get them to blend. The effort leaves her exhausted and she falls asleep that way more often then not. 

At the start of the final week before the exam, Tenten was waiting for her after her run though she had none of the usual training equipment. “Let’s go.” She said, Sakura jogging to catch up with her after a moment of surprise.

Tenten answered none of Sakura’s questions and led her to a shop Sakura had never noticed before. It was tucked in a corner that bordered the shinobi district and the marketplace. It was deceptively small on the outside. Once the girls stepped in, the store’s interior was spacious and Sakura’s jaw nearly dropped. The weapons store she usually went to was a streetcart next to this one. There were rows upon rows of tables decked out with weapons even Sakura could tell were finely crafted. 

“Chiasa! You got a customer!” Tenten walked up to the counter and called towards the back of the shop. A middle aged dark skinned woman with grey hair braided over her shoulder stepped forward. 

“Tenten’s back. What a surprise.” The woman said dryly. “What do you need this time? I’m all out of spiked maces.”

“You’ve got maces?” Tenten’s face lit up. “You’ve been holding out on me!” 

“I should know better then to joke about weapons with you.” Chiasa said, rolling her eyes. It was then she noticed Sakura standing a bit further back. “Hey welcome kid. What can I do for you?” 

“She’s the one I was telling you about. With the daisho.” Chiasa walked out from behind the counter and led them to a corner of the store. There were three gleaming pairs of swords displayed behind a glass. The first set had black and red handles with groves engraved in the black steel. The second, thick yellow handles and the sword edge was tinted red. The final set had dark blue handles with steel so reflective Sakura could see her green eyes looking back at her. Whatever expression she had on her face made Chiasa chuckle. 

“All three pairs are katana for your long blade and wakizashi for the short. The first is from Kumo, got it from a blacksmith friend of mine from home. If you’ve got lightening affinity it can take it no problem. That middle one is from Suna. Blades of wind, they’re called. You could get off some good long range hits with them. That last set is from Kiri and I’ll be honest kid, the guy I got them from didn’t say much, just wanted them off his hands. Gorgeous though.” 

“Could I hold the last one?” Sakura whispered. Chiasa opened the glass door and placed the two swords in Sakura’s awaiting hands. She knew as soon as she gripped the handle, these were her blades. The wooden ones she had been using were good for practice but never felt right. The ones she held now felt made for her. Even when she opened her hands up, they balanced perfectly in her palms. 

“Try a kata.” Tenten said. She was bouncing on her heels watching Sakura’s revered silence. Sakura settled into a defensive form, legs bent, shoulders back and swords crossed over slightly. It came even more naturally with real swords. Her heart sank a bit as she handed back the blades to Chiasa though the woman didn’t take them. 

“I doubt I could afford these.” She said with a sad smile. 

“Oh gods I forgot to tell you.” Tenten said. “I get a huge discount here, its why I brought you to this shop. You are getting those swords I don’t care if I have to buy them for you.” Tenten and Chiasa went to the front to haggle. Sakura was left holding her swords, gazing at reflection in the mirror-like blades. She had never seen herself so happy.

The two girls walked out of the store with a lot less money and beautiful weapons at their sides. They paused, glanced at each other and with identical grins leapt to the rooftops and began racing back to the training ground. Sakura may have used some of Inner’s speed but Tenten was using her staff to vault between roofs so in her mind, the cheating cancelled out. 

They arrived at the same time, neither girl admitting to losing. The boys seemed to be in the middle of a drill. Both of them were blindfolded and were fighting at the same ridiculous speed they always did. Gai was off to the side doing one finger pushups. Sakura ran up to him. 

“Sensei look at my swords!” She unsheathed them as Gai backflipped and stood upright to inspect the blades. 

“What works of art! They are worthy weapons for you, Sakura.” She beamed up at him, quieting the bittersweetness that only seemed to grow as the month came to a close. It hurt to look at Gai and know what she could have had in a sensei. 

The spar between Lee and Neji ended with no conclusive winner which sparked some pride in her chest for Lee. She had never met anyone who worked as hard as him and she was glad he was getting closer to his goal of one day beating Neji. The Hyuuga removed his blindfold, spotted Sakura with her new weapons. His lips quirked up in a small smile. 

“Its time for our fight.” 

* * *

Sakura and Neji stood across each other with Gai acting as proctor. They gave a short bow and fell into battle stances. At their sensei’s behest, it would be a taijutsu battle with no weapons allowed. He didn’t want them to seriously injure themselves so close to the exam. Tenten and Lee sat a few metres away, cheering them on. 

As soon as Gai started the match, she sprinted forward trying to take control of the fight from the start. Neji was on the defensive for only a moment before he caught her arm and twisted it behind her. Sharp pain shot up her side as he pressed her elbow at an awkward angle. She tucked the elbow in, twisting back around quickly to break Neji’s hold on her. He raised his eyebrows a bit. He had ended more then a few spars with that same move and it was the first time she’d broken out. 

Her victory was short-lived as she lost all control of the battle from there. Neji was on her in an instant, his hits focused and precise. She couldn’t keep up with the sheer speed and he blocked off numerous pressure points before she realized she’d been hit. When her left arm went numb, she switched tactics and sped in a circle around Neji. When his eyes couldn’t track her anymore, he went into the distinct Hyuuga defence kata. She shot towards him, aiming low. He started to move out of the way but wasn’t fast enough and she kicked his legs out from under him. 

However, with her dead arm and nonexistent upper body strength, the match was over when Neji grappled and pinned her down. Gai declared the match and knelt down to pull the two into a tight hug. 

“A wonderful battle, my students! Your spirits are alight with the fire of youth.” He was strong enough to lift them to their feet and the other two members of team Gai walked over. Tenten gave her a quick squeeze and Sakura wished her arm worked enough to give a proper hug back.

“You improved so much, Sakura. I still remember the good old days when we could kick your ass in two seconds.” Tenten teased and with her arms still around her, rested her head on Sakura’s shoulder. 

“What a tragedy. Now it takes a whole minute.” Sakura said and turned to Neji, bowing her head. “Thanks for taking me seriously as an opponent.”

Neji inclined his head. “I would do no less for an honourable match.” Gai ended training for the day and walked Sakura to the Konoha hospital despite her protests. 

“We don’t cut corners around injuries.” He said and all her arguments died in her throat. The med-nin thought a fussy teacher was endearing and told them the effects would fade on their own. Sakura told Gai she had someone she’d like visit and bidded him goodbye. She made her way down the familiar hallways to Ino’s room but froze when she heard a crash. 

She poked her head into the room and saw a nurse helping Ino to her feet from where she had collapsed. Silent tears were streaming down her face but her eyes were set in determination. As Sakura watched, Ino took agonizingly slow steps. She stumbled again as she put too much weight on her broken leg and was panting hard. The nurse ended the exercise and led Ino back to bed. 

Sakura waited for the nurse to leave the room before knocking gently on the door. When Ino realized who was at the door, she wiped her tears clear from her face. 

“Hey Forehead I didn’t know you were coming today.” She said, her voice cracking on the words. Sakura said nothing and made her way across the room to settle on the bed next to Ino. She wrapped her friend in a tight hug and felt Ino shudder at the contact before relaxing. 

“You know, you only call me Forehead when you’re trying to act tough.”

“I can’t get anything past you.” Ino sniffed. They stayed in comfortable silence before Ino spoke again. “It’s my knee. They don’t know if I’ll get full mobility back. I might have to quit.” A fresh wave of tears soaked Sakura’s shoulder. 

“You are Yamanaka Ino. You get what you want because you work until you get it. This is no different. I know you, you’re a fighter. So don’t stop fighting.” Sakura hadn’t realized she was crying too until Ino brushed her tears away. The girls clutched each other tight, each of them finding a home in the other’s arms. 

It was dark when Sakura finally bid Ino goodbye. Hopping over rooftops through the night sky calmed the anxiety that had stirred inside her. Even if Ino was forced to give up her shinobi life, she would never be out of a job what with the many Yamanaka owned businesses in Konoha. But Sakura knew her friend would never be the same. Ino was constantly underestimated as a dumb blonde but she was shaping up to be the strongest Yamanaka shinobi in generations. And it wasn’t talent, it was hard work and many hours Ino dedicated to strengthening her mind. She was a shinobi through and through. 

Sakura stepped inside her house and paused at the doorway. Intricate lines were painted with ink on every surface she could see. Naruto was sitting atop the shoulders of a clone, finishing up a spiral design that ran along the ceiling. “You’re just in time!” He said, dismissing the clone and landing softly to not disturb the still wet ink on the floor. 

“What is all this?” 

“A seal! I asked Pervy sage for a powerful one that even civilians could use so when your parents come back they won’t have any trouble with it and they can adjust too I just have to show them how I guess I’d have to meet them first do you think they’ll like me or-” Sakura carefully closed the distance between them and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Naruto. Breathe.” He took in a gulp of air. “What’s the seal?” 

“It protects the house from intruders. After Kakashi-sensei took Sasuke, you never let your guard down. You check every window and door at least three times. You check on me in the middle of the night. I don’t even think you know you’re doing it. You should feel safe in your home, Sakura-chan.” 

Her vision blurred as Naruto wrapped her in a hug. He was right. Stepping into her own house no longer felt like a respite. It was like she was gearing up for a different battle. The fact that Naruto noticed and learned a seal to help ease her mind had her clutching him tightly, whispering her thanks in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen y'all I am a Gai-sensei simp first and a human second. I love that man with all my heart. Sakura having a positive teacher role in her life made me super happy. 
> 
> What do y'all think of her new weapons. Honestly making those dope sets of swords made it worth all the research I did to make sure dual wielding was a real thing in Japan. My youtube recommended still hasn't recovered.
> 
> Full credit to user Tekilio for that final scene! Their comment inspired me a lot and it was a nice way to wrap up the chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

If Sakura could pinpoint the moment everything went wrong, it was when Sasuke’s hand lit up with a ball of lightening. 

The exams had been going smoothly up until then. The audience turn out was even bigger then the first round and the roar of the crowd could be heard from outside of the stadium. The genin fighters were instructed to stand in the arena while the proctor dictated the order of the matches. The first thing she did as she stepped into the centre of the arena was look towards the Hokage’s private booth. She didn’t see the old disguise Orochimaru used and didn’t bother with her Sensing. Among so many shinobi, it’d be impossible for her to pick up a Sannin actively cloaking his presence. She did spot the Kazekage sat next to the Sandaime. The Suna kids must have been important for their Kage to come to Konoha.

The proctor for today’s matches was different from the one who preceded over the first round and introduced himself as Genma. As he chewed on the end of a long senbon, Genma showed them a paper outlining the match order. Sasuke’s match was up first but when it was clear that neither Sasuke nor Kakashi had arrived yet, Genma declared he’d delay the fight for a few rounds. If Sasuke didn’t show up before the final match, Gaara would win by default. Instead, the other members of team 7 got to go first. 

Sakura and Naruto’s fight ended quickly with her defeat. She had decided as soon as she saw her name slated against his that she wouldn’t fight. There was no reason for her to. She didn’t care about the chuunin exams but she had to put on a show enough that she might be promoted and stay on team 7. It was a tricky rope to balance on but the cheers of the crowd told her she was successful. By the frown on Naruto’s face, she could tell he knew the truth. She looped her arm around his shoulder when they walked out of the arena. 

“Now you get to fight crazy strong people.” She said in his ear. He seemed to forgive her for the moment and the two made their way into the stands to watch the rest of the bouts, standing behind Tenten, Lee and Gai’s seats. The next match ended just as swiftly as hers. Neji knocked out Shikamaru before the boy genius could come up with a plan. She made sure to embarrass her sparring partner by cheering as loudly as she could. She and Naruto cracked up at Gai’s proud sobbing as he blubbered out things no one could make out.

“You killed it.” She said when he came to stand by her and Naruto, bumping his shoulder. 

“It was only the first fight of the day.” Neji said. The next fight between Shino and Temari was about to start but Neji pulled her back as Naruto leant over the railing to get a better view. “You didn’t fight honestly, Sakura. Don’t let your sentimentality make you weak.” It was the most sincere tone she’d heard from Neji. She let her gaze drift Naruto’s back before she turned to Neji. 

“My sentimentality is the only thing making me strong.” They lapsed into silence as the bout began. Shino was having the same problem Ino had in that he couldn’t get close enough to hit the Suna girl. He sent swarm after swarm of insects but she managed to blow them all away. Temari wasn’t doing much better as Shino was forcing her to stay on the defensive. The standstill lasted several minutes, both opponents trying to wear the other out. 

The hit that blew Shino into the arena wall was a lucky one and the boy didn’t get back up. To her far left, Sakura heard a breeze and faint shifting of sand. She hadn’t noticed the two Suna boys had been standing so close to her group. Gaara had dematerialized and reemerged in the centre of ring as soon as the Shino was carried out. The proctor called out for Sasuke to enter the arena but no one answered. As Genma raised his arm to declare Gaara the winner, a crack of thunder sounded. From a puff of smoke, both Kakashi and Sasuke appeared. 

“Stop being so dramatic, teme!” Naruto yelled. When Sasuke spotted his two team members in the crowd he smiled softly before facing his opponent. Kakashi shunshined and was standing behind her a moment later. Sakura stared ahead, unwilling to greet him and took a step forward so Neji stood between her and her sensei. 

The battle was rough from the start and didn’t ease up. Sasuke’s hand held green light but instead of a soft glow, the chakra was shaped into small daggers. When he could land a hit on Gaara, the redhead would scream in pain despite the fact that Sakura couldn’t see any damage. 

Gaara encased himself in a sand dome that was impenetrable to both the chakra blades and kunai. Sasuke leaped away to put distance between them and held his palm out to the ground in a familiar position. With the speed boost from the chidori, Sasuke pierces the dome. Gaara let out a high pitched cry of pain that echoed around the silenced stadium. 

From there, several things happened in quick succession. 

A monstrous arm made entirely of sand shot out from the newly formed hole and Sasuke was forced to dodge. The crowd, who to this point had been cheering with abandon, had lapsed into unnatural silence. Everyone in the audience was bent over unconscious. Sakura’s aptitude for genjutsu was enough for her to notice the just trying to pull her under. She spiked her chakra to break the jutsu before it could grab hold of her. Beside her, Neji had done the same. Naruto collapsed and she barely caught him before gently lowering him to the ground. 

Though the genjutsu failed to render her unconscious, there was a heavy feeling in the air that made Sakura feel as though she was moving through a thick liquid. A wave of killer intent cut through like a knife and she had to fight not to curl up into a ball. She had been on the receiving end of this bloodlust before. It was him. 

She could sense him easily now that he did nothing to hide his presence. Orochimaru was up in the private booth disguised as the Kazekage. At some point during the chaos he had grabbed the Hokage in a chokehold with a kunai to his neck. He seemed to be murmuring in the Sandaime’s ear but his head snapped towards her the moment she looked his way. He sent her a playful wave with his free hand. 

A shadow loomed over her from where she was crouching and Sakura broke eye contact to see a man with a kunai out above her. The masked person cackled and went to stab her but seized up before he could reach her. When he dropped, she saw Gai standing behind him. She hadn’t even seen him move but she expected no less from the Green Beast. 

“Are you all right?” He asked and she nodded. He and Kakashi were stood back to back in a formation that spoke of familiarity and trust. Sounds of fighting started to rise from around the stadium. When she peaked over the railing, she saw Sasuke still in the arena. The other Sand genins were standing by Gaara who had dropped the dome. His body was shaking hard and he had a hand clutching the tattoo that marked his forehead. 

Some words were exchanged before the three took off over the stadium walls, into the surrounding forest. Sasuke gazed around the sleeping crowd and caught sight of her. 

“Follow.” He signed before giving chase. All the exits closest to her were blocked off by enemy shinobi and Sakura had no way of making to the centre arena without becoming a target.

“Sakura, wake up Naruto and back up Sasuke.” Kakashi said. She bit her tongue hard enough to draw blood at the command and formed the seal to release the genjutsu. “If you take my ninken you can…” 

“I don’t need your help.” She hissed. Sensing the tension, Gai spoke up. 

“Take my pupils. They will be of much aid.” Together, Neji and Sakura dispelled the jutsu on the rest of team Gai and the two roused. The three newly awakened genins made note of the chaos around them and ducked down to where Neji led them. 

“We need to bust out of here.” Sakura said. Tenten reached into her pouch, pulled out a thick stack of paper bombs and placed a few on an exterior wall. The wall erupted and the five leaped into action. While Neji guided the group with his byakugan, Sakura filled the others in on what had happened. 

“That makes no sense! Why would Sand invade when we just signed a treaty?” Tenten said. That was new information to Sakura. Alliances seemed to come and go as the Kage titles were passed along. But it was out of the ordinary for one of the Five Nations to break a treaty so openly. 

“That is not our concern for the moment. Our task is help our comrade and together, we shall be victorious.” Lee said. A snap of a branch sounded behind them and Sakura instinctively activated her Sensing. Eight individuals were spread out in a semi circle around their group. If they kept up this pace, they would be surrounded. She relayed the information to the group. 

“I will deal with the enemies! We cannot waste time engaging in battle.” Lee landed on a branch and waved them on. “Do not worry! I will catch up when I am done.” He took off back the way they came and faint sounds of fighting soon followed. 

The four travelled in tense silence until Neji called out. “They split up. Gaara and Sasuke are up ahead and the other two are circling back.” Tenten made the call that she and Neji would catch Kankuro and Temari while Naruto and Sakura backed up their teammate. 

“Don’t be reckless. Rendezvous at our training ground, ok?” Tenten said. The two took a sharp turn and disappeared in the trees. Sakura expanded her Sensing and found Sasuke quickly. It was impossible to miss Gaara. The pure chaotic chakra was the largest she’d ever seen anyone give off. And yet the feeling of it was distinctive enough she was sure she’d felt something akin to it before. 

With less companions, the two were able to pick up the pace and came across an enraged Gaara about to swipe at Sasuke who was splayed out on a branch. The Suna boy seemed to be mid transformation with hard packed sand covering half his body and a giant arm protruding from his back. The battlefield was a mess of chopped tress that made it impossible to hide their arrival. 

“Sasuke!” Naruto yelled. Naruto dashed in front of Sasuke in time to punch Gaara square in the face, sending him shooting down out of the trees. Sakura landed next to Sasuke and unsheathed her swords to take up a defensive position. 

“His strength is ridiculous. I hit him with a chidori and he’s fine.” Sasuke said. Naruto joined them on the branch. Team 7 was reunited once more though the circumstances could not have been worse. Sakura watched how Gaara twitched and it clicked in her mind why his chakra had felt familiar. 

“I think he’s a jinchuuriki.” She said. The roiling chakra he was giving off held the same maliciousness that lived inside of Naruto. Though while her teammate’s was well suppressed, Gaara’s was being unleashed, burning the boy from the inside out. Gaara had recovered from the punch and launched himself in the air straight at them.

Naruto summoned chakra chains and leapt into action. The training he had done with Jiraiya was paying off. He secured one chain around a branch above, arcing out of Gaara’s path. As he swung back around he wrapped Gaara up in the other chain. The Suna boy growled, gripped the chain in his sand arm and snapped it away from himself. The sand shuddered for a moment as he fell and he landed on a branch, staring daggers at Naruto. 

Sakura took advantage when his attention was solely on Naruto, and struck. With a burst of speed, she closed in on him before he could raise his defences. She aimed for the human half of Gaara but her blade found no purchase. It did as much good as striking a wall. Before he could grab her, she pushed off using his chest as a springboard and propelled a jet of water at him. The sand soaked it up and Gaara struggled under the sudden weight. 

Naruto swung down and looped several chains around Gaara to pin him to the branch. For a moment, Gaara was still. Naruto and Sakura dropped down on the branch to bound him properly. As they did, the sand covering the Suna boy shifted. The soaked layer fell away to reveal a hardened sand layer underneath. He dematerialized, slipping through the chains and standing upright before them. Before either of them could move, the sand arm shot at Sakura. The force of the sand knocked her swords out of her hands as she went sailing through the air. It slammed her against a tree, her vision dizzy from the force. Gaara left enough hard packed sand that Sakura was stuck to the tree, unable to move. The hit to her head must of caused her to pass out for a moment. She thought for a moment she was still unconscious. The scene before her was straight out of her nightmares.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl and Sakura could see everything. Gaara, feral and unhinged bearing down on Sasuke who was using the the last of his energy to heal a bleeding out Naruto. They would both die with one sweep of the giant sand arm protruding from Gaara’s back. 

Sakura exploded. 

For a moment, she wasn’t in the forest but in her mind. The calm, serene ocean she had once stood on now had crashing waves so tall they blotted out the sun. Inner stood next to her, white hair billowing in the wind. She was openly weeping yet her face was set in cold determination. Neither said a word but reached out to each other at the same time. Instead of touching, their hands passed through each other. Inner took a step forward and Sakura could feel her settle inside Sakura’s skin. At the same time, the two chakras she had been working to blend for a month now came together as one and she had more chakra then she’d ever had in her life. 

Sakura opened her eyes and a small ocean erupted out of her, washing away the sand that pinned her. The force of the water levelled the trees around her as it spread out with her in the centre. Gaara, who seemed more animal then human, smelled her heightened bloodlust and whipped around to face her. As she crouched on the tree trunk, she spotted her swords at the base of the trunk. Gaara was gearing up to charge her, she had no time to drop down to grab her weapons nor did she want her boys to leave her line of sight. Sakura reached an arm out to her swords, willing them into her hands. 

The water that lingered around her encircled her. A stream shot out and coiled around her outstretched arm down towards her fallen swords. It wrapped around the swords and threw them up to where she was perched. Sakura caught the weapons midair, taking no time to process whatever power she had just tapped into. 

She sprung off from the tree. As she rushed towards Gaara, swords drawn, Inner shaped the wave of water she had created into a fully formed dragon. It felt nothing like the first time she had attempted the jutsu. This was as easy as drawing breath. Sakura swung and the dragon followed the arc of her blade. Gaara collided with the water but his sand arm disintegrated when it touched the dragon. It opened its huge jaw, clamped down on Gaara and carried him away from her boys, deep into the forest. 

She dropped down and crouched by Sasuke. Her back was to him and her arms were outstretched to cover him. “How is he?” She said. 

“I need more time.” Sasuke grunted. The effort of healing dredging up the last bit of chakra within him. 

“How much?”

“Sakura, don’t be stupid. Guard my back and we’ll wait for back up.” 

“They won’t make it in time!” She snapped. She looked over her shoulder to find red sharingans already trained on her. “Let me do this for you.” 

“You’ll die.” 

“That’s fine if you two live.” Sakura didn’t wait for a response, sheathed her swords and ran. She sped into the woods, following the trail of destruction her dragon and Gaara had made. It didn’t carry him as far as she would’ve liked but it would have to do. He was splayed flat on his back in the dirt, the sand now covering his entire body. He caught sight of her in the trees and howled. 

“Come and get me!” She yelled. She took off once again, this time with a murderous half beast hot on her trail. He was faster then she’d expected from his steadily increasing size. She took her eyes off him for a moment to decide where to lead him when sand tendrils whipped out. Sakura managed to dodge but lost her momentum and Gaara was upon her in an instant. 

His sand arm extended out and punched her in the chest, sending her crashing through a tree and to the ground. When the arm bared down to crush her, she molded her hands into a seal Inner projected into her mind. A sphere of water surrounded her and blocked the sand before it could reach her. As the arm retreated, she pulled her swords out to strike. The barrier quivered and the water lost its form. Instead of falling to the ground, the water moved through the air and wrapped itself around the swords. Sakura examined them quickly and was taken aback when she saw the steel blades had disappeared. She now held only hilts with whips of water attached. 

Gaara’s pounded the ground in frustration, letting a deep roar that shook the treetops. There was no sign of the boy. An unhinged beast with murder in its eyes was before her now. Sand tendrils reached out to her once more. She scrambled to her feet and lashed out with the whips, severing the closet tendrils. It was less of a fight and more Sakura barely dancing out of the way of killing blows. But it was not enough. 

She made a fatal assumption. The ropes of sand that she had cut from Gaara were still under his control. He lured her into stepping between where they lay on the ground and they came to life, wrapping around her. As the sand climbed up her body to entomb her, Sakura craned her neck to the sky. 

She thought she would be ready for death. Every shinobi dies at some point and the Academy, for all their numerous failings, did at least drill that into her. But Sakura had so much to do. Faces flashed in her mind, friends old and new. She had people she needed to protect. She needed answers for what Orochimaru had done to her. The sand had reached her throat but before it could crush it. she put every emotion inside her into one primal scream. 

Sakura called out in desperation and the forest answered. 

Fully grown trees erupted from the earth and surrounded Gaara. The wood pinned his limbs and as he tried to break free, he lost concentration of the sand on Sakura. It slipped away from her, her chest heaving as she took ragged breaths. 

Behind her, echoes of her name rang out. She could see Naruto and Sasuke from a distance crashing through the trees. Relief flood her at the sight of them and she didn’t notice how quiet her opponent was until the ground shook. Sakura had to cover her ears at the sound of wood splintering into pieces as Gaara grew and grew. A monster was being born. He towered high above even the tallest trees, a beast on all fours with one massive tail swinging behind it. When it reached what she hoped was its full size, it began to speak. 

“Finally! Fear me mortals for the legendary Ichibi Shukaku is awake once more.” The voice was so loud Sakura wasn’t sure whether her body was vibrating from the sound waves or fear. Strangely, it was not Shukaku that made her so scared. It was the reminder that Gaara was a jinchuuriki like Naruto and now she saw the full scale of what lived inside her friend. Her teammates stumbled onto the scene and stood next to her, mouths agape at the sight. 

Shukaku’s giant arm descended on them and they were forced to scatter. Her and Sasuke had leaped the same way and neither of them would be able to get clear of the paw before it crushed them. Sakura put every drop of strength left in her in a final burst of speed. She collided with Sasuke, sending him flying out of reach of the Ichibi. 

The hand squeezed her tight, lifting her high into the air. She sobbed as she heard and felt her bones snapping from the pressure. The pain overwhelmed her as she was brought face to face with the Tailed Beast. 

“I don’t know how you pulled that trick with the wood, girl. But I’ll be damned before I let another Senju brat run around and seal me again.” 

The grip on her crushed her further, every part of her body going numb as blood stopped circulating. Shukaku could crush her in an instant, he was deliberately making her death as slow as possible. Just as black spots began to dance around her vision, the pressure was gone. She saw flashes of images as she went in and out of conscious. A severed sand arm. A giant toad with a sword. Naruto screaming with a hand outstretched. And then she was free falling through endless sky. 

Sakura felt arms catch her before she passed out.

* * *

_“He’s changed! He isn’t our enemy anymore.” Sakura was standing, watching the back of a man who stood before her. The red armour he wore clinked softly as he spun to face her. As he did, her eyes dropped to his chin and she could not force them any higher. She was dreaming once again but this one was immediately different. She had never heard any sound in these dreams before and the words were giving her intense vertigo. Everything was wrong yet she felt a solid love in her chest for the man. The two were standing on a cliffside, the rolling expanse of forest before her stealing her breath._

_“You can’t trust them, aniki. Especially not him. How could you forget the losses our clan has suffered at the hands of his!” She could feel herself speaking but the voice was much lower then her own. The disorientation she felt made her head spin._

_“That is exactly what this peace is for. To stop the bloodshed. Why can’t you understand that?”_

_“You’ve always been too kind. I don’t want to see them take advantage of that.” Her body turned without warning and walked off. The man she called aniki did not call after her._

_Her surroundings shifted and swirled, the world going dark around her. When things settled, she was hunched over a desk pouring over a scroll. Sakura was more then a bit taken aback when she saw the blueprints. They were designs for her daisho blades. She wanted to run her hand over the drawing but her body refused to move. According to this scroll, she had only been using the swords at a fraction of their full potential. Before she could read more in depth, her hands were rolling up the parchment and tying it off. Her head lifted and she finally got a look at the room she was in._

_She could recognize the interior of her secret library even in sleep. There weren't nearly as many scrolls as she remembered though._

_A messenger walked up to her from the corner of the room and Sakura handed off her scroll. “Get this to the diplomats headed to Kirigakure. Tell them to inform the Mizukage that Konoha wishes for them to accept this as a collaborative project between our villages.” The messenger bent low in a bow and left without a word._

_“How much longer do you think we can hide from your brother in here?” Sitting crosslegged on the floor next to her with a book propped open was a man. His long, dark unruly hair covered half his face but Sakura could see the amused smile he wore. She could feel her face fight a smile of its own._

_“The day aniki willingly steps foot into a library is the day you become a househusband.” The man raised his visible eyebrow._

_“Marriage on your mind?” He teased. Sakura’s ears went hot and her head turned away. The dream slipped away from her to the sound of the man’s low chuckle._

* * *

Sakura jerked awake and regretted it instantly. A shooting pain rocked through her and ended in a splitting headache that thrummed in time with her heart. The light streaming in from the window illuminated the room she was in. She could recognize the Konoha hospital rooms from her many visits with Ino. Two chairs were placed on either side of her bed. One was empty but the other had a passed out Sasuke sleeping in it. At rest, his face was relaxed, mouth open slightly with soft snores. He looked his age for once. 

Despite the deep ache in her muscles, Sakura was moving more easily then she expected. A tight binding wrapped around her chest kept her breathing shallow and she groaned as she tried to sit up. Her teammate’s eyes fluttered open and widened when he noticed her. 

“You’re awake.” In a very un-Sasuke move, he hugged her, being mindful of her ribs. When he pulled back, his face was stormy. It was the angriest she’d ever seen him. “Don’t ever pull that shit again.” The curse was enough to stun her.

She found herself at a loss for words. Sakura could only repeat what she had told Naruto a month ago after he confronted her about her unprovoked killing. “I had to.”

“You can’t just decide to take all the risk. We’re a team for a reason. It’s not fair to us or you.” She wished the words were stir something inside her. She knew her self sacrificing behaviour wasn’t okay. But how could she change when Sasuke sat in front of her, alive and whole? All it did was reinforce in her that she had made the right call. 

“Where’s Naruto?” She asked instead of responding. Sasuke sighed and slumped back in his chair. 

“Across the hall in his room. You were out for two weeks and a lot’s happened. But first.” His gaze drifted up and a small smile crossed his face. “You haven’t seen yourself, have you?” He gestured to her opposite side where a small table held a tray of food, a pot holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers and a small hand mirror. She lightly touched a soft petal on the flower and smiled. Ino’s signature style was all over the bouquet and it warmed Sakura to the core. Sasuke’s impatient shuffling brought her back to reality and she grabbed the mirror. The last thing Sakura wanted was to see what she looked like after being unconscious for two weeks but Sasuke made her curious enough to look. 

The first thing that caught her eye was her now familiar thin pale scar that ran across the length of her neck. Once it had fully healed, Sakura avoided staring at it for too long. Now, she saw it as proof. That she had faced her death and stared it in the eyes, unblinking. As she titled her head to the side, Sakura finally noticed what Sasuke wanted her to see. 

Her pink hair, her namesake, was streaked through with snow white locks.

“It changed halfway through the fight with Gaara.” Sasuke said. 

Sasuke filled her in on what had occurred the past few weeks as she played with her new hair and all she could think was what was an understatement it was to call the events a lot. The Sandaime, dead. The village in ruins. Kabuto a traitor and spy for Orochimaru. He started telling her about how Naruto had convinced the Slug Princess to become Hokage when the woman herself entered the room. 

Sakura was more starstruck then she thought she’d be considering how her interactions with the other two Sannins went. But Tsunade held a regal command her teammates did not have. Her eyes were sharp, head held high. She looked at Sakura like she could see every secret her body contained. 

“Right on time, Haruno. If you were out any longer my reputation as a medic would’ve been in question.” It was as Tsunade walked up to her, stethoscope in hand that Sakura recalled the status this person held.

“Hokage-sama, it’s an honour to meet you. Thank you for taking care of me.” 

“Gods don’t call me that.” Tsunade groaned. “I still have a day before the official ceremony. Soon as I’m done rounds, I plan to spend my last hours of freedom in any bar that hasn’t banned me yet.” 

Sakura and Sasuke shot each other a look. Tsunade had left the village years ago under mysterious circumstances. She was never branded a missing nin like Orochimaru partially because of her ties with the Sandaime and because she was the last Senju. It would look bad for Konoha to outcast the last member of its founding clan. The jaded woman Sakura saw didn’t match up to the legends she’d heard growing up. 

Tsunade didn’t seem bothered by the silence and continued with her diagnosis. She passed a warm green light over Sakura’s ribs. “I healed the worst of your breaks already but not all of them.”

“Why is that?” Sasuke asked. He had been watching the process with rapt attention, sharingans blazing. Tsunade regarded him with amusement.

“The body has to remember how to heal itself or it’ll be worse off in future.” 

“How do you determine what’s worth healing and what you should leave?” The conversation from there flew above Sakura’s head. The Sannin, at first, seemed to be humouring Sasuke’s questions but when he threw in technical terms, she started to give in depth answers. 

Tsunade eventually left after giving Sakura detailed notes on when to change her bindings and how to rewrap them. Judging by Sasuke’s face, he wouldn’t let her skip any steps. 

“Thank you again, Tsunade-hime.” The Sannin rolled her eyes and left. Sakura waited until she could no longer hear the sound the Tsunade’s high heels before trying to get out of bed. 

“Did you not hear what she just said?” Sasuke put a hand on her shoulder, trying to coax her back in bed. 

“I wanna see Naruto.” She had overestimated herself. The racking pain got worse when she fully sat up but the need to see her teammate kept her moving. 

“He’s not going anywhere. You can see him when you’re better.” The strength she’d used to sit up abandoned her all at once and Sasuke helped her settle back. Sakura stretched out her hand towards Sasuke. He huffed a bit but linked their fingers together. 

“I missed you.” She said softly. There had been no time for a proper reunion before the world imploded. But as they sat together in the quiet hospital room, it hit Sakura that this was the first time they’ve spoken in over a month. 

“I know.” He squeezed her hand and it conveyed everything words couldn’t. He told her stories of his training, how he had mastered the chidori and she fell asleep to the low rumble of his voice.

Sakura blinked awake, groggy and disoriented. The effort to get out of bed must have taken more out of her then she thought. The first thing she noticed was her hand, empty with no Sasuke next to her. When she looked outside the hospital window, a clear sky with specks of stars looked back at her. The night was silent and still. 

It was so quiet the hiss from the corner of the room was impossible to miss. 

“Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting for ages.” Sitting in the armchair across from her was Orochimaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit so much happened y'all. Shoutout to those who called mokuton Sakura from a mile away. We do get answers in the next chapter on how she did that but it was so much fun writing that scene. I've had that new look of hers in my head for a hot minute. 
> 
> Okay so I wrote Tsunade into this cause I thought she was introduced right after the Sandaime's death but apparently she comes after Itachi and Kisame try to take Naruto. So there's no special reason for why she's here now, I just fucked up the timeline. I liked the part with her and Sasuke cause I don't think they ever interact in the OG series so I kept the scene. 
> 
> Let me know what y'all think! I've had the worst writer's block so I thought posting this and hearing feedback would help out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important update in the end notes.

Sakura sat up straight in her bed, ignoring how her body protested the sudden movement. She opened her mouth to scream for help but froze when she felt something heavy shift around her throat. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Hana is quite strong despite her size.” The snake coiled around her neck gave a soft hiss before settling again. Her mind went blank with panic. She was alone and unarmed with a man powerful enough to kill a Kage. Despite her efforts to remain outwardly calm, her body started to tremble.

“What are you doing here?” She whispered. The two sized each other up, slitted yellow eyes meeting green ones. 

“How much do you know about why I left Konoha?” Sakura was sure her surprise was visible. A pop quiz was close to the last thing she’d expected right now. 

“You didn’t leave. The Sandaime exiled you.” Orochimaru snorted, an undignified sound coming from a Sannin. 

“Is that how they’re spinning it? Then what did I get exiled for?” She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. No matter how much she racked her brain for one specific reason he was outcasted, no answer came to mind. It dawned on her that Orochimaru’s name had been synonymous with a warning. Vague stories of his evil deeds led to parents of the village telling their children not to act up or they’ll be sent away like the Snake Sannin. He let her stew in her quiet revelation. 

“A village you can’t trust to give you the full truth. Makes you think what else they can hide in the shadows.” Orochimaru leaned back in his chair. “The secrets I could tell you about Konohagakure. But I think I shall first tell you about yourself.” If his goal was to pique her interest, he had more then accomplished it. For months, she had felt like she had only scratched the surface on the inner workings of her village. How Naruto was treated by the people, the closed circle that was the clans and even her own role as a civilian born shinobi. There were forces at work she couldn’t see hidden in the dark and here Orochimaru was, promising her a torch. 

“Life and death are such fascinating concepts, don’t you agree? Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean your knowledge, your power, is gone. You and I, my dear, are living proof. How much do you know about the Shodaime and Nidaime?

“Senju Hashirama was the most powerful person to ever live. His jutsu, the mokuton is nearly impossible to reproduce. No one has been naturally able to recreate it. But there are unnatural means of gaining power. 

“It’s funny how poorly guarded the Hokages’ bodies were. It was so easy to get all the DNA samples I needed. From Hashirama, I got longer life, an ungodly amount of chakra and access to a whole host of jutsus. That’s why I left, dear. My sensei.” His contempt and bitterness was heavy on the word. It reminded Sakura of how Inner spoke of Kakashi.“ He caught me conducting experiments trying to manifest the mokuton. Just as I was on the cusp of cracking it, he found me out and my one successful experiment was snatched up before I got my hands on him. Pity. 

“But Tobirama’s DNA was such an elusive thing. No matter how many test subjects I used, none produced any results. This is where you come in. As a last ditch attempt, I found a nice civilian couple, merchants on the road I believe they were. They were expecting their first child. I thought the DNA needed a fresh slate to work on. Newborn babies get so many tests done on them, it was easy getting Tobirama’s DNA into you. 

“But no. I periodically sent summons to check on it but it was such an ordinary toddler. Another failed attempt. I didn’t bother killing the child. It would grow up to be another unremarkable civilian. But you proved me wrong, didn’t you? I saw your fight with the Ichibi. You have the water prowess of Tobirama. Only he was able to summon so much water with no natural source. Do you know what that means?” Orochimaru’s eyes held a crazed glee, gripping the chair handles and sitting on the edge of his seat. 

“You are my greatest success.” 

It was too much information too grasp. Sakura could already feel her brain compartmentalizing the fact that this madman had held her once as a newborn. But the talk of the former Hokage was worse. Too many things lined up for her to outright call him a liar. Inner. Her dreams. The skills that she, a nobody civilian-born shinobi, shouldn’t be capable of. Orochimaru settled back in his chair when Sakura didn’t say anything. 

“Tell me how you did it. The water, I can understand. I made that happen. But you summoned trees from nothing. How did you learn the mokuton?” 

“I-I asked.” Even as she spoke, Sakura knew it was a bad idea to tell this man anything. But her desperate need to know, to understand herself was too strong to ignore. And besides it felt nice. To talk to someone about all the things that have been happening to her and to have him understand. No one, not even Sasuke and Naruto, knew the full extent. “I have water and earth affinities. They mixed together and I asked the forest to help me.” 

“Incredible. So it was your own power, not some latent Senju gene that triggered.” He muttered. “You say they mixed. How so?” The whiplash she was getting from the Sannin hurt her head. One moment he was a terrifying presence, the next he was complimenting her and acting genuinely interested in her. She hated that she enjoyed the attention. 

“When I meditate, I can feel two chakras within me.” She spoke slowly, giving herself time to omit any mention of Inner from her answer. Even if she wanted to talk, to tell him everything would surely come to bite her in the ass. “But they were reluctant to come as one. In the forest they finally merged into one chakra pool.” 

“I suppose then that Tobirama’s DNA never fully integrated into your own. How’s your chakra control?” 

“I walked up a tree on my first attempt.” 

Orochimaru barked out a surprised laugh. “I never thought I’d meet someone that beat Tsuna’s two tries. No wonder you’re able to use the Shodaime’s technique. It requires precise balance between water and earth. Once the conditions were right, you used it marvellously.” 

Pride bursted in her chest. Sakura has never had such unabashed praise thrown her way before. Gai would compliment her but she was never his, was she? He had his own students to care about. And Kakashi was out of the question entirely. This was recognition for Sakura herself and she relished the feeling. 

“Does that make me a child of the Nidaime?” Her paper ninja tendency was rearing its head. For the first time ever, Sakura had a source for answers she couldn’t get from the village. This was her one opportunity and she wanted to get as much information from him as possible. 

“No, dear, you were already birthed when I found you. Its more as if a part of you is Tobirama himself.” An image of Inner flashed in her mind. Sakura hadn’t heard from her since she woke up. She kept pausing her thoughts to wait for comments that never came. “Though what percentage of you he makes up, I’m still not sure.”

“How about Kabuto? Is he like me?” She thought of the boy’s white hair and strong attachment to the Sannin. Orochimaru smiled lightly.

“Kabuto is one of the few in my employ I haven’t meddled with. His story is much different from yours.” 

“Huh.” Sakura chewed on her lip. She wondered how far could she push these questions. “So would anything else transfer to me?” 

“Such as?”

“Genetics or memories maybe?” She tried to frame her question as a hypothetical but judging by how his eyebrows shot up, she’d failed miserably. 

“You have memories of when the Nidaime was alive?” He asked quietly. 

“I thought they were dreams until now and I can barely make out anything happening. Its just blurry images and then I wake up.” As she backtracked, Orochimaru started mumbling to himself, eyes darting back and forth running equations she couldn’t fathom. His head snapped to her suddenly, as though he had forgotten she was there. 

“We’ll discuss that more later. We’re nearly out of time.” His smooth persona was back in place and there was no evidence of his sidetracked thoughts. “Now, as to why I’m here, back in the village I just tried to destroy. I came to make you an offer.” He smirked and reached out a hand as if to shake hers. “Join me.”

“What?” She spoke louder then meant to and the snake around her tightened its grip. 

“I want you to join me. Forsake Konoha and I will teach you how to fully use your powers. You’ve only just scratched the surface. With me as a guide, you can be as powerful as you wish to be.” His words were dripping in honey and temptation but it was not strong enough for Sakura to forget who she owed her loyalties to. Almost as if he could read her mind, Orochimaru continued, pulling his hand back. 

“What’s keeping you here? You will never reach your full potential in this village. They will shackle you at every turn until you become an obedient attack dog. But you already knew that didn’t you? I can see it in your eyes. Do you know what they’d do once they found out a little girl developed the mokuton?” The question struck fear in her heart and he pressed his advantage. “It didn’t end well for my other experiment.”

“What happened to him?” 

“A man named Danzo.” Orochimaru’s face darkened. “He’ll be dealt with in due time.” It took a moment for her to place a face to the name. She had never heard anyone refer to Elder Shimura by his first name alone. A thousand questions sat heavy on her tongue but the Sannin’s good mood seemed to have evaporated with the mention of Danzo. His eyes focused back on her and she was faced with the Sannin she’d met in the forest.

“Don’t tell me its your team? You are in the same position I was, dear. Placed on a team of prodigies who are destined to surpass you. I wasn’t chosen by the toad spirits. I had no clan name. I became a Sannin because I seized every opportunity to gain power. People like us have to work twice as hard for a sliver of the recognition they get.” The snake constricted her throat with every inhale as her breaths quickened. His words were taking her back to the start, to the first day team 7 trained together. 

Kakashi had been several hours late. Despite telling his students to meet at the training ground at dawn, he strolled onto the field when the sun was well into the sky, nose deep in his orange book. But it didn’t matter to Sakura. 

She was patient while waiting for her new sensei. She stomached the nonstop bickering from her new teammates. Even Sasuke’s rejection didn’t sting as bad as it usually did. None of it could dampen her mood. Sakura was a real shinobi now with a shiny new headband. She brushed nonexistent dirt off her red qipao as Kakashi stopped in front of them. He looked at his three students as though he just realized what he had done by passing them. 

“Right then.” He drawled. “Run some laps until you’re tired.” He shunshinned himself into a nearby tree, his full attention once again devoted to his novel. In a few days, Sakura would make a trip to the library to ask for that same book. She thought maybe if she shared a love for it, she could talk to Kakashi about it and form a bond with her new sensei. She would leave the library with her face brighter then her hair. 

But on that first day, Sakura yearned to impress him. His aloofness was a challenge, not the obvious dismissal she would come to know it as. Sasuke and Naruto barely made eye contact before they were speeding around the track. She lagged behind, trying not to count how many times the boys lapped her. Her legs were shaking by the fifth lap and she paused under Kakashi’s tree to catch her breath. 

“You can stop now, Sakura. No need to overexert yourself.” She collapsed on the ground, taking the comment as kindness and missing the detached tone Kakashi that she would soon hear every time her sensei spoke to her. She remembered she was more concerned about how her hair was sticking to the sweat on her neck. 

The boys ran lap after lap until Kakashi declared the day over. “Good to know you’re capable of the basics. See you all tomorrow.” He said, disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Naruto and Sasuke left the field soon after but Sakura was paralyzed on the ground. The slight to her skills couldn’t have been more blatant. She balled her hands, clutching fists full of dirt. The stains on her qipao mixed with drops of tears as she sobbed on the training field. Her first day on a genin team and Sakura had never felt so alone. 

That was the beginning of the end for her and Kakashi. Sakura was all but invisible to him while he pushed the boys to be better, stronger. Orochimaru was right. It took a feat of unheard of chakra control for Kakashi to acknowledge her and even then he had twisted it, turned it into fuel for the boys’ rivalry. Back in the present, the Sannin took her silence as refusal and sighed. 

“I’ll make it easier for you then. If you don’t accept my generous offer, I will be forced to go back to my original plan of taking Sasuke instead.” He smirked as her killing intent spiked sharply. It was worth the momentary pain of the snake crushing her windpipe. 

“Don’t you fucking touch him.” She wheezed. 

“I won’t have to do anything. The mark will cause him to seek me out. It will drive him insane. But that doesn’t have to happen, Sakura. Not if you take his place.” Sakura closed her eyes. Not in contemplation but in resignation. 

It was always going to end this way. Sakura didn’t know how to show her love any other way. She would always sacrifice herself, her safety, her happiness if it meant her boys would be safe. And she couldn’t deny that Orochimaru’s promises of power resonated with her. It was a crooked version of her own desire to be strong enough to stand beside her boys as an equal. If Sakura continued on her path in Konoha, where would she end up? A permanent chuunin if she was lucky. She had fooled herself with delusions of grandeur, thought that if she wanted it badly enough, the village would let her stay with the jinchuuriki and the last Uchiha. Her boys were destined to climb the ranks that a lowly civilian-born would never have a shot at. 

If her loyalty to the village was contingent on two people, did that village deserve her service? Was she okay with dying for them? She knew her answer.

“How do I have any guarantees that you won’t take him anyway?” She said. 

“Good girl, never take anyone at their word. I needed Sasuke as a replacement. The Hashirama cells elongated my life but my physical form still ages. Unfortunately, my sensei was able to cripple me before I fully got Sasuke under my control and I couldn’t hold out any longer. I won’t need another replacement for at least three years.” 

“That means nothing. You can still make him crazy.” Orochimaru reached into his robes and pulled something out. A silver ring with a light blue gem dangled on the end of a chain. Stamped on the gem was the kanji for sky. 

“How about this then? I’ll let you hold onto this during your…apprenticeship, shall we say. It gives me access to some incredibly powerful resources. If you think I’m not holding up my side of the bargain, you can do with it as you see fit.” He crossed the room in two long strides and grabbed her hand. His skin was freezing to the touch yet the metal he forced into her palm was warm. 

“Think it over. I’ll be back in two days time. I bet you can put that ring to good use before then.” He whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “How lovely. Your transformation has already begun.” A faint breeze rolled in from the open window and Orochimaru was gone along with the pressure around her throat. 

Sakura didn’t dare move for what felt like an eternity. It was only when the sun fully rose and light streamed into her room that she took a deep shuddering breath. She clasped the necklace around her throat, playing idly with the ring. 

She had never considered defecting from Konoha before but once the door was opened, she couldn’t pretend the concept wasn’t appealing. She briefly allowed herself to daydream of a life free of service. She could focus on getting powerful and it would be for herself, not for some promotion. For the first time in too long, she thought of the people of Wave. Sakura could help people like that. Those turned away from bigger villages because they couldn’t afford help.

Ideally, she’d take her boys with her. Sasuke would come with little convincing but Naruto would be harder to persuade. He was firm set in his goal to become Hokage and the last thing she’d want it is to tarnish his dreams with her selfishness. Sakura abandoned the idea all together. She had come to the realization far too late so the entire thought process was useless to her now. Her future was set and it didn’t contain anyone from the village. 

And if she avoided looking at the flowers by her bedside, at least no one was around to see the guilt in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so bittersweet to me. On one hand we finally get the full reveal of Sakura and Inner. On the other I think this chapter really shows my limitations as a writer. I hope this answers most of your questions at least. I never pictured Orochimaru as a full blown villain, his character is pretty nuanced. But I also really wanna state that he is 100% manipulating Sakura here. Sakura's fatal flaw is her thirst for knowledge and need to know everything. It really hurts her in this chapter where she's forced to play almost all the cards she has. (Also someone please validate my SakuIno crumb in the end)
> 
> Important update: I'm taking a small hiatus! My last year of university starts next week and its the busiest semester I've ever had. While I'm adjusting to that, I'm putting this pic on pause. I hope my time away sparks some inspiration and I can finish this fic with an ending it deserves. :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: self-harm

_We need to talk. Now._

Inner’s voice rang through Sakura’s head, the biting anger amplifying the voluming causing her to wince. It had been a few hours since Orochimaru left. Apart from a nurse who had come to take her vitals, she had been sitting in silence. Though she was anxious that she’d miss a visit while in her mind space, Inner’s demand left no room for negotiation. 

Slipping into her mind was easier then before and soon enough Sakura emerged on the other side settled on her back over a body of water. The space had completely transformed. Islands were there was nothing but open air before were scattered across the horizons. Massive trees sprouted straight from the ocean and she could see their roots thick and gnarled deep in the water. A hard poke in the shoulder cut her sightseeing short had Sakura turned to greet Inner. 

A fist met her jaw instead.

The sharp taste of copper set in before the familiar heat and pain bloomed across her face. When she touched her lip, Sakura’s hand came away wet. Inner was a vision, a storm bottled in a girl. Her hair, a mix like Sakura though with far more white, whipped around as the wind picked up. 

“What was that for?” Inner didn’t reply and swung again. This time, Sakura caught the blow and dug her nails into Inner’s arm. “Stop it!”

“Oh I don’t know. What could I possibly be angry about?” Inner ripped her arm away, angry red lines appearing from where Sakura had scratched her. “It’s not like you just ruined our life or anything.”

She found herself staring at the thin scratches. From their first meeting, she knew Inner could physically hurt her. But Sakura had never thought of it the other way around. She tamped down the morbid curiosity of how far she could push her and focused on Inner’s accusation. It grated on Sakura’s still raw nerves. 

“I didn’t see you saying anything when he was there.” She said through gritted teeth. “Thanks for abandoning me by the way.” Inner scoffed.

“Fuck off. Do you know how much that fight took out of me? If it wasn’t for me, you’d be dead from chakra exhaustion. Sorry I wasn’t around to hold your hand for a day.” 

“What should I have done then?” She crossed her arms. If Inner wanted a fight, Sakura wasn’t about to back down. 

“Maybe not agree to abandon the village with a psychopath. He experiments on people. He experimented on us and you’re acting like it’s fine.”

“Did I say that? I’m not going with him because I like him or condone his actions. I’m going to protect someone I love.” 

“And what about everyone else? What about Naruto and Ino?” The thought of her two blonde friends made her flinch. 

“They’ll be fine without me.” They both knew Sakura was lying but it was a lie she had to believe or she would shatter. Inner’s face somehow went colder. It was the first time she looked more like a stranger then a reflection. 

“We left Naruto alone for a week and a perv took advantage of him. The entire village hates him. But that doesn’t matter cause we have to do this for Sasuke-kun.” Inner pitched her voice in a squeaky imitation that made Sakura flush with anger. “And who cares if the first person who ever really cared about us is still in physical therapy. To hell with her, right?” 

“Shut up!” 

“I know what it is.” Inner smiled, a predator going in for the kill. “You believed him, didn’t you? All that shit he was saying. ‘You and I are the same, my dear. Oh how powerful you are, my dear.’ He laid it on thick and you fell for it cause you’re so fucking desperate for someone to pat you on the head and call you a good little girl.”

This time it was Sakura who swung a wild punch. Inner easily dodged and any pretence of civility was broken. It was the dirtiest fight she’d ever been in but she only felt cathartic relief as she poured all her helpless rage into uncoordinated attacks. The feral smile on Inner’s face told her she wasn’t only in her feelings. 

It felt good. To rake her nails across Inner’s cheek. To bite down on flesh hard enough that she tasted blood. It felt good because she wasn’t seeing Inner. 

Sakura saw herself.

She saw a weak, pitiful girl who had no agency over her own life. A girl so weak she wasted years trying to impress people who never gave two shits about her. Who was so weak she’d never been acknowledged by her own team, her own sensei. So weak she’d lapped up the attention of a monster after a few compliments. 

So Sakura ripped and cut and broke herself. Inner gave as good as she got. When the girls finally exhausted themselves, her left hand and ankle were broken and she couldn’t count all the places she was freely bleeding from. 

“You know what?” Inner’s panted. “If you’re just gonna ruin our life, maybe you shouldn’t be calling the shots anymore.”

A spike of pure fear shot through Sakura as she recalled the words from her first therapy session months ago. _So Sakura is in charge and Inner is along for the ride? Has Inner ever tried to be the one in control?_

She was spared from having to answer when the islands around them shuddered violently, shaking leaves loose from the trees and sending ripples cascading across the water. Inner clicked her tongue in frustration and glared daggers at Sakura. 

“This isn’t over.” With that, she disappeared from sight and Sakura was sinking into the water.

* * *

An explosion from the hallway shook the room. Sakura braced herself as she came to consciousness, gripping the bed railing as best as she could. Things were quiet for a moment. Then, a familiar voice started screaming. Sasuke’s cries of pain rattled Sakura and her body was moving before the pain could immobilize her. The wounds from Inner not coming through to the waking world was a nugget of information she stored away for later. The only thing slowing her down was her ribs. 

Sakura scanned the room quickly, desperate for her swords. She hadn’t realized no one had brought them to her and she cursed under her breath. With no other options, she smashed the vase of flowers on the floor. The hospital robe she was wearing was cheap enough that she was able to cut a strip off the bottom and wrap it around the end of a long jagged piece. With her makeshift weapon in hand, Sakura threw open the door. 

Two men stood in a face off with Naruto and Sasuke, the shorter of the pair crushing Sasuke’s wrist. They wore identical black robes with red clouds, scratched hitai ates and looks of annoyance as Sakura entered the fray. The hall was still filled with smoke and debris from the giant hole where the wall used to be. 

“These brats keep popping up like weeds.” The tall blue skinned man said. His hand was rested casually on the hilt of the giant sheathed sword strapped to his back. “You don’t look like much of a meal for Samehada.” 

“Samehada. Shark Skin.” Gai’s lessons came rushing back to her. “You’re one of the Seven swordsmen.” 

The man laughed, showing off rows of sharpened teeth and turned to his partner. “Get a load of this one. She knows her stuff.” 

“Someone told me once it’s always good to know the name of the sword about to kill you.” She said. Sakura shifted as she spoke, placing herself between Naruto and the large man. His eyes never left her and his gaze made her uncomfortably aware of how vulnerable her neck was. 

“Whoever said that was talking a big game considering you’re still alive, kid.” Sakura was injured, exhausted, had just waged mental war against herself and a quick check of her reserves told her she was still recovering from what she’d lost to Gaara. 

Despite it all, she smiled and bared her teeth. 

Naruto grabbed her arm, trying to pull her back but Sakura stood her ground. She didn’t have anything close to a plan but the instinct to draw their attention away from her boys was overpowering.

“Maybe you know him. He was a swordsmen, too.” The goading seemed to work but before he could reply, the man’s partner spoke up with a sharp tone. 

“Enough. We didn’t come for small talk, Kisame-san. Grab the boy. I’ll deal with my little brother.” The dark haired man kicked Sasuke in the chest and sent him flying down the hallway. At the same time, Kisame swung his sword down at Sakura and Naruto. She leapt to the side, letting the blade crash into the floor. Before Kisame could wedge it out, Sakura ran up the flat side of the sword and slashed at his face. 

With one arm, he blocked the attack and threw her over his shoulder as though she weighed nothing. She skidded to a stop and ended up between Sasuke and his supposed brother. Now that she was closer to him, the resemblance was uncanny. The only difference was age and the clear confidence the man had in his power. Uchiha Itachi, the man who killed his entire clan in cold-blood. She should hate him on principal alone for what he’d done to Sasuke. And yet. 

Orochimaru had seeded doubt within her about things she once believed to be fact. 

There were too many questions surrounding the Uchiha Massacre. How could one person her age kill a clan full of shinobi? Not only that, Sakura had read about how the Uchihas made up a large portion of the now defunct military force. A kid killed them all alone? And the biggest question was her own teammate. If Itachi truly was mad or bloodthirsty, why spare the life of his little brother? 

Sakura dispelled the thoughts. Regardless of the answer, Itachi was her enemy in this moment. She was about to charge forward when she was shoved roughly to the side, nearly loosing her footing. The impact jolted her bruised ribs and she bit her lip to stifle a groan. 

“Don’t get in my way! This is my fight.” Sasuke had healed himself a bit but deep purple bruises were still wrapped around his wrist. He was nothing like the boy who held her hand yesterday. His killing intent was leaking out so heavily she had to force her body to not lock up from its effects. 

“What happened to being a team? I can help you!” She said, hunched over to protect her side. His head snapped to her, rage contorting his features. 

“You think I need you?. I worked my whole life to be the one to kill him. I don’t want your help so back off!” With a war cry, Sasuke attacked his brother, chakra blades in hand. From behind the one sided beatdown, a toad summons appeared in front of Kisame and seemed to be fending him off. A moment later, Jiraiya appeared in a cloud a smoke. It was the first time Sakura was glad to see the Sannin. Her mind didn’t need to be split worrying about two impossible matches. Itachi, noticing the new arrival, decided he was done playing with Sasuke and held him up by his collar. 

“What have you been doing all this time, brother?” Itachi said. “How do you expect to kill me when you don’t have nearly enough hatred yet? Pathetic. Maybe you need a reminder.” The two made eye contact and Sasuke went limp in his grasp. He screamed, not in anger or pain but in pure, primal fear. 

Sakura shot forward with a burst of speed, catching Itachi off guard and slipping inside his defences. She aimed to slit his wrist, forcing him to drop Sasuke to avoid her knife. Instead of moving away, he used his now free hand grab the back of her head and drive his knee into her stomach. She dropped to the ground, retching up stomach acid. 

Itachi lifted her from the floor by her neck and pinned her to the wall, leaning to use his weight to crush her windpipe. Sakura felt her eyes bug out as she fruitlessly clawed at his arm. She was no stranger to people trying to kill her but Itachi was a different breed. Zabuza, Orochimaru, Gaara. All of them had had some emotion whether it was murderous glee or anger when they fought. But Itachi was cold and looked almost bored while dark spots danced across her vision. 

Just as she was about to slip into unconscious, he went rigid and dropped her. Sakura took in gulps of air, grabbing her tender throat. As she did, her hand brushed against Orochimaru’s ring. She had forgotten to hide it before leaving her room. When she looked up, blood red sharingans were staring intently at her. 

“I didn’t realize you were spoken for. My apologies to your shishou.” 

The stress to her already broken body had Sakura fighting to stay conscious as Itachi walked away from her. As soon as his back was turned she shoved the necklace under her shirt. Her world narrowed down to focus solely on Sasuke who was slumped next to her, eyes wide and staring into nothing. The fighting down the hall sounded distant and faint. She forced her body to move, draping herself over her teammate in a last ditch effort to protect him. She didn’t know how long she held that position, facing the wall and cradling Sasuke’s head but when a hand gripped her shoulder she screamed.

“Don’t touch him!” The hand was joined by another and when Sakura struggled harder another pair. “You can’t take him from me I won’t let you!” She had regressed into a full blown panic attack. The familiar tightening in her throat and heavy pressure weighing down on her chest. She had just sold her soul to keep her team safe and not a few hours later they were in a life threatening situation. It was too much. Sakura’s body and mind were coming apart at the seams.

The hands were pulled away and someone gently cupped her face to turn her head. It took several moments for her to recognize the sky blue eyes but when she did, Sakura broke down in ugly sobs. Naruto pried her off of Sasuke and helped her stand on shaking legs. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Sakura let her pink and white hair cover her eyes as she stared at the ground.

“I’m so tired.” Her voice broke from the honesty. Sasuke’s words had hurt worse then any injury she had gotten during the fight. They were fuel to the fire of self hatred that had been burning bright since the confrontation with Inner. When it came down to it, he didn’t trust her to help him. He still saw her as a weak fangirl. All the work she’d done to prove herself had been for nothing. 

“My pupil, have you been injured?” Gai was crouched down before her, trying to catch her eye. She didn’t know when he had arrived but she felt her body relax in the presence of the only adult she trusted. The sharp vase piece fell from her stiff grip, clattering loudly on the floor. She fell forward and hugged him with all her fleeting strength, burying her head in his jonin vest. Gai scooped her up carefully. Conversation drifted past her ears. The mentions of Tsunade and Kakashi caught her attention but not enough to fully tune into what was being said. She was distracted by the slow circles Gai was rubbing on her back. She could feel her brain turn to mush with each repetitive motion. 

Sakura couldn’t remember the last time she’d been held. It must have been one of her parents. Her parents, where were they? Would they hold her if she asked? What did her mother smell like? What did her father’s voice sound like? Why were they gone for so long? Why did they leave her? Why did they always leave her?

“I want my mom.” With her face on Gai’s shoulder, her voice came out muffled. 

“What was that, Sakura?” He shifted her up so she was next to his ear but she just shook her head. It was a moment of weakness that didn’t bear repeating. Gai patted her back lightly and then the group was walking away from the scene of the battle. 

They made their way to a room on the lower floor of the hospital. Four beds were placed side by side with one already occupied. Kakashi was asleep and didn’t stir when they entered which alarmed Sakura minutely. The only time she’d seen him unconscious was at Wave and even while suffering chakra exhaustion, Kakashi would shift every time someone entered or exited the room. Now, he was so still she would think he was dead if not for his shallow breathing. Gai placed her down to the bed adjacent to her sensei while Jiraiya and Naruto helped Sasuke into his. 

“What’s wrong with him?” She asked no one in particular. 

“The same thing that made Sasuke like this.” Jiraiya said. “The Uchiha got one look at him and Kakashi collapsed, unresponsive to everything.” 

“My rival is the toughest person I know. I can’t imagine a jutsu capable of doing this.” Gai had always worn his heart on his sleeve but Sakura had never seen him look at anyone with such fondness before. He turned back to face her. “Is there anyone I can bring to the hospital for you, my brave pupil?” 

“It’s okay, Gai-sensei.”

He shot her a wide smile. “It’s no trouble! I would be honoured to complete this task for you.” 

“No, I mean my parents aren’t in Konoha so there’s no point.” She said. “Thank you though.” He rested a large hand on her head, shifting her hitai ate as he smoothed her hair back. 

“I will inform the Godaime on what has happened then. I will return swiftly.” With that, Gai ran out the door and was gone. 

“She’s gonna be so pissed.” Jiraiya groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Did they have to attack the day she got sworn in?”

“That must’ve been their plan, right Pervy Sage? Attack while Tsunade baa-chan was busy?” Naruto had moved to sit on the bed next to her, linking their pinkies together. A part of her unclenched at his proximity. Having him so close and being able to see that he was fine eased the anxiety she’d held since Sasuke had told her about his fight with Kabuto. 

“Who are they?” She asked. Something had been bothering her since she first saw the two men, scratching the back of her mind. A detail she must have overlooked in the chaos of battle. 

“Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi. They work for a group called the Akatsuki who have been targeting jinchuuriki.” Jiraiya said, his tone becoming uncharacteristically serious. “If you two see anyone wearing a black cloak with red clouds and a ring, you run. They’re in a league of their own. Naruto, you’re only alive because they wanted you alive. Got that?”

A ring. She thought of Kisame, gripping his sword handle, his finger adorned with a thick silver ring with an orange gem in the centre. Itachi, reaching down to choke her, wearing one with a bright red gem. And under her shirt was a ring identical to theirs. And Itachi knew she had it. He’d called Orochimaru her shishou. She wasn’t sure how to feel about the title. It wrapped itself around her shoulders, refusing to be ignored. She didn’t notice Jiraiya eyeing her as she contemplated on what it meant that Orochimaru had given her the necklace.

“Itachi let you go.” He said. “Why?” The conversation was oddly reminiscent of how the Sandaime questioned her after Zabuza let her live. Jiraiya was his student after all. To admit the truth would be to confess about last night. So Sakura called up every drop of knowledge she’d learned in the Academy about the art of lying. To fool a Sannin, she’d need all the help she could get. She drooped her shoulders, shrinking into herself.

“I don’t know he was choking me so hard and-” Sakura allowed her voice to crack. “I just went limp so he’d think I passed out. I should’ve tried harder I was useless to you.” She forced her eyes to water, pursing her lips the way she does when she’s trying hard not to cry. 

“You did fine, kid.” Jiraiya looked away from her, scratching the back of his neck. Grown men always get awkward around crying girls and Sakura had banked on Jiraiya being the same. “You protected your teammate and got out alive. That’s more then a lot of Itachi’s opponents can say.” 

“Yeah Sakura-chan you were so cool! You charged that shark guy and almost got him right away!” She had been nowhere close to hitting Kisame but she thanked Naruto regardless. 

“They’re gonna try again, aren’t they?” Real distress came pouring in and she tightened her hold on her teammate’s pinkie. 

“What do you mean?” Naruto said.

“They know who you are and where you are, Naruto! It’s just a matter of time before they try to take you again and Jiraiya-sama isn’t always gonna be there.” 

“She’s right.” The Sannin said. “I’ve got an idea to run by Tsunade but you aren’t safe in Konoha anymore.” The three sat in tense silence until Gai returned with Tsunade and a dark haired woman in tow. Tsunade’s gaze landed on her, focused on the bruises Sakura was sure must be beginning to show. 

“I’ll deal with you later.” She growled. “Shizune, check on Uchiha and get me his diagnosis.” She made her way to Kakashi and the women began working, hands glowing in sync with green light. Gai stood between Sakura and Kakashi’s bed, focused intently on his friend. 

“Pulse and breathing are normal. No response to auditory stimulus. Pupils are equal and reactive.” Shizune produced a senbon out of thin air and pricked a finger on Sasuke’s uninjured hand. “No outward reaction to pain.” 

“Same on this end. Jiraiya, run me through what happened.” Tsunade said, tying her long hair back in a ponytail and rolled up her sleeves as Jirayia recounted what happened. She was dressed in the official Hokage formal attire though the hat was suspiciously missing. 

“Right then. All signs point to a genjutsu based coma. Let’s try this.” The green glow intensified as Tsunade placed her palm on Kakashi’s forehead. “There’s lingering chakra suppressing the RAS. If I dispel that it should-” 

The effect was immediate and violent. 

With a short yell, Kakashi’s uncovered eye shot open. He grabbed Tsunade’s wrist and the back of her neck, rolling off the bed and onto the floor. He landed on his feet, putting the new Hokage in a chokehold, back to the wall and staring at the others like a cornered animal. 

“Don’t hurt h-!” Tsunade cut off as Kakashi tightened his grip, now looking to the door and windows desperately. A change rippled through everyone in the room as they went from lax to on guard and tense. Gai made to move in but Jiraiya waved him back. The Sannin made his way closer to him but gave Kakashi a lot of space, hands up in a surrender. 

“Hey Kakashi can you look at me?” He said. When Kakashi met his gaze he smiled. “Do you know who I am?” 

There was a pause. Then Kakashi stuttered out, “J-Jiraiya.” 

“That’s right, Jiraiya. And do you recognize him?” He pointed to where Gai stood by the abandoned bed. 

“Gai.” The answer was immediate and Gai’s shoulder’s relaxed a bit. 

“Yeah your friend Gai. Can you tell me where you are?” 

“Jiraiya. Gai.” Kakashi ignored the question. “Where’s my team?” 

“They’re right here.” The Sannin gestured to where Sakura and Naruto sat frozen and clinging to each other. “Look, they’re safe.” 

The longer Kakashi looked at them, the more distressed he got. He shifted his hold and a hand came up to grip his hair. “No no no no. Obito, Rin, sensei. Where are they?” 

The names meant nothing to the genins in the room but Jiraiya’s smile became wooden, Shizune inhaled sharply and Gai looked heartbroken. Kakashi kept babbling “I just saw them they were right there I was so close I can save them this time I promise where’d they go?”

Jiraiya calmly told him the date. “You’re at the Konoha hospital. You were fighting Itachi and he put you in a genjutsu. You’ve been unconscious for 2 hours. Tsunade woke you up. She’s an ally.” 

Kakashi looked down at Tsunade. Sakura had no idea how she was still conscious but she managed to pat Kakashi’s arm, silently asking to be let go. The moment he did she inhaled deeply but didn’t run from him. 

“That was my fault. I shouldn’t have woken you so abruptly. But you can stand down now, Kakashi.” Even in his confused state, he seemed to recognize the authority in her voice. All the tension left his body. The man before them looked lost and sad, a stark contrast to the image she’d had of her sensei until that moment. 

Jiraiya nodded to Gai and he was next to Kakashi in an instant, helping to ease him back into bed. Tsunade drew a curtain around the bed, giving the pair some semblance of privacy. The last thing Sakura saw before the curtain closed was Kakashi with a hand over his covered eye. 

“Right then.” She said, clearing her throat. “Shizune if you would. I’m tapped from keeping the oxygen flowing through me.” 

“Of course, Lady Tsunade.” The process was the same and Shizune placed her palm over Sasuke’s forehead. His eyes fluttered up and the room held their breath. But Sasuke just laid there. From where she was, she couldn’t make out the expression on his face. Naruto got up and stood next to his bed. 

“Hey, Sasuke how you feeling?” Sasuke didn’t respond but turned his head to look at Naruto. Tears were streaming down his face but he didn’t make a sound. Naruto worriedly looked to Sakura but she was just as at a loss for what to do. Shizune placed a hand on Naruto’s shoulder and he made room for her to stand by Sasuke again. 

“Hi my name is Shizune I’ll be looking after you today. Can you tell me your name?” She said. Silence. “Can you nod your head if you can hear me?” Slowly, Sasuke nodded. 

Shizune ran through more yes or no questions and Sasuke answered each at the same pace, crying all the while. He knew where he was and remembered what had happened. A sob nearly broke loose from her chest when Shizune asked him if he could point out his teammates and his watery eyes made contact with hers. She hated that it took her so long to realize how badly Itachi’s presence must have triggered him. He had to face his clan’s killer and Sakura was blind to his pain because he had said some cruel words to her. Hot shame filled her lungs and she choked on its ashes.

Tsunade came up to her when Shizune began to heal Sasuke’s broken wrist. She tilted Sakura’s head up and tutted. 

“So when I told you to get bedrest, it wasn’t a suggestion.” She pressed on the ribs and Sakura hissed. “Yeah that’s what happens when you rush into a fight with bruised ribs.” 

“I didn’t ask them to fight outside my room.” She mumbled. 

“Sorry Sakura-chan.” Naruto said. He had been quiet since his attempt to talk to Sasuke. “I convinced Sasuke to surprise you and they must’ve followed us. You two got hurt cause of me.” 

“It wasn’t your fault.” She stretched out her hand and when he took it, pulled him back on the bed and into a hug. “If anything I’m glad cause otherwise you would’ve been alone when they found you.” 

“About that…” Jiraiya cut in. “Tsuna, can we talk?” 

“Talk while I heal.” The two Sannins locked eyes. It was the first time Sakura had seen them interact and she was fascinated by the silent conversation that seemed to pass between them. She tried to imagine how Orochimaru would fit into the picture. When they were still a trio, was he the missing piece that balanced the other two or was he the odd one out? Jiraiya sighed, conceding whatever debate they’d had.

“I have a plan to keep Naruto safe.”

“Out with it then.” Tsunade had to place her hand on Sakura’s throat to heal it and she was focusing hard to not panic at the contact. Naruto, noticing when her breath hitched, gave her hand a squeeze. 

“Considering its about the safety of our jinchuuriki, shouldn’t we go somewhere more private?” Jiraiya said. 

Tsunade glanced around the room. “I’ve seen you fortify entire mansions. Silencing a room this big should be nothing, Sealmaster.” 

Jiraiya got to work, pulling out ink and scrolls, grumbling under his breath the entire time. Naruto craned his neck to catch a glimpse of what he was doing. His head swivelled between his sensei and Sakura, torn between wanting to learn something new and leaving her alone. It wasn’t until she nudged him out of bed he went to crouch next to Jiraiya. While he worked, Gai had pulled back the curtain. Kakashi was more put together but he only looked to Gai, ignoring everyone else in the room. 

“You done yet?” Tsunade asked as she finished the healing process. Sakura was just a bit more sore then she had been before the fight which she was sure Tsunade had done as punishment. Before she pulled away, Tsunade’s gaze locked on Sakura’s left hand. She held it up, inspecting it with a frown. “Did you hurt your wrist?” Sakura shook her head. “Huh. There are hairline fractures that look old but I would’ve noticed yesterday.” She left it at that and walked over to Jiraiya, leaving Sakura confused in her wake. Shizune had moved on to Sasuke’s less pressing injuries and was narrating the process to him in a low voice. The tears had dried up and it was clear he was hanging on every word but he still had yet to say anything. 

“Can’t rush perfection, Princess.” Jiraiya said with a cheesy grin, putting his inks away. Naruto skipped back to Sakura’s bed, whispering everything he learned excitedly in her ear. 

“Then let’s get started.” She said. “This is an emergency S-class meeting. Everyone in this room is trusted but should any of this information be leaked, the individual will be charged with high treason. Got it?” Tsunade made eye contact with everyone in the room before signalling for Jiraiya to speak. 

“Don’t worry, kids. All the best meetings start with threats.” There were huffs of laughs around the room. “So we know the Akatsuki are targeting jinchuuriki around the Nations though for what purpose remains unknown. The only hit we know of was the failed assassination of the Yondaime Mizukage a couple years back. Given they were bold enough to attack during the day we can assume they’ve figured out a way to extract a Tailed Beast from its jinchuuriki.” 

The information spoken so casually had Sakura reeling. An assassination attempt? Collecting Tailed Beasts? She understood Tsunade’s warnings now and though she had no business being in a such a high ranking meeting, she soaked up the details. 

“They’ve identified Naruto as the Kyuubi jinchuuriki and know his whereabouts well enough they were able to predict where he’d be.” Jiraiya continued. “I want to take him out of Konoha.” 

“What?” Naruto and Sakura yelled. 

“Train him while travelling. That way he’ll be guarded at all times and it would make it impossible to find him. I mean, it’s me after all. Nothing has gotten past my spy network and the Akatsuki won’t be the first.”

Tsunade crossed her arms, brows furrowed in thought. Her first day as Hokage and she was already trying to mitigate a crisis. “I’ll run it by the Elders but I think it’s a good plan. You’ll need to move soon, get him as far as possible before they realize he’s gone.” 

“Naruto….leaving?” Sasuke’s hoarse voice was only just audible in the quiet room. Naruto had gone unnaturally still.

“Are you serious, Pervy Sage?”

“How long you thinking?” Tsunade said. The Toad Sannin scratched his chin.

“Well its been three years since they attacked the Mizukage so give or take that long. They won’t risk another attack sooner then that if their target is missing.” He said. “I can teach the kid all I know during that time, I bet. He learned the rasengan in a week, after all.” 

Three years? The gods were conspiring against her, she was sure of it. All the signs were pointing to Naruto getting attacked again by the Akatsuki. Would they ever give up? Three years. She had to get strong enough to protect Naruto in that time and find a way to save Sasuke when Orochimaru decided to switch bodies once more. 

_I know how we can do both at the same time._ By the tone of Inner’s voice it was clear she hadn’t forgiven Sakura. But the idea she projected in their shared conscious had the killing intent thrumming beneath her skin, begging to be let out. 

What better way to test if she’d be strong enough to face the Akatsuki at the end of three years then by killing the Snake Sannin himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I was into making chapter titles, I'd call this one 'Sakura and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.' I like stories where everything that can go wrong for the main character, does. Inner threatening to take control is very much her worst nightmare then Sasuke goes and basically calls her useless. 
> 
> I always thought it was kind of a waste the way Itachi used his tsukuyomi that first time. So in this version, he basically kept Kakashi in his worst memories for 72 hours instead. Now Sakura's seen how he's kept a mask over all his trauma so we'll see what she does with that info. 
> 
> We're officially in Canon Divergence now. Yagura is still alive! I promise this was intentional and not me forgetting the timeline. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

When Shizune walked into the hospital room, she was met with silence and thick tension. 

Once the plan to get Naruto out of Konoha had been approved by the Elders, Sakura’s teammate had been whisked away to go pack with Jiraiya and Gai acting as bodyguards. She had wanted to be there herself but was shot down by every adult in the room. 

“Stay here and keep an eye on things, my precious pupil.” Gai had said, though there was little to keep an eye on. Sasuke had passed out ages ago, leaving Sakura to sit alone trying to ignore the other body in the room. 

_I just saw them they were right there I was so close I can save them this time I promise where’d they go?_

She couldn’t stop hearing Kakashi’s broken voice repeat the same phrase over and over. The implication behind his pleas made her stomach twist in knots. Sakura had never thought of what Kakashi had been like before he became her sensei. It was easy to forget that he’d lived a whole life before team 7 had been formed, one that apparently had more then its fair share of tragedy. 

But should she feel guilty about not knowing? It’s not as if he had ever shared a scrap of his personal life with her before. It’s not as if she cared to know. Her empathy was grappling with her morbid curiosity to know the whole story, all the things that went unsaid. To start with, who were the three people he had named? Obito. Rin. Sensei. Three students and a sensei meant they must have been Kakashi’s genin team. But Sakura had never heard of any jounins that go by Obito or Rin. 

So they were dead or they’d left the village. She didn’t know which was worse. To lose teammates or be abandoned by them. 

And what of his jounin-sensei? What kind of person were they that they’d created the monster Kakashi was today? Maybe she could scrounge around for public records on genin teams. It shouldn’t be too hard she just had to guess how old Kakashi was and work backwards. Looking through decades of records would take time, she’d have to find a day she wasn’t training with Gai and…

A numbing cold swept over her. There was no time left. She was leaving tomorrow. The reality that her life was about to drastically change made her hands tremble. There would be no more early morning runs with Gai or spars with Tenten, Neji and Lee or lunches with Ino. No more Sasuke. No more Naruto. This part of her life was over and the thought overwhelmed her so completely she missed Shizune walking over to Kakashi and starting to speak.

“…just to check for normal brain activity before you go to sleep. Kenji-san here will take you to a private room.” Kakashi went with the nurse without a word and Sakura watched him go, a part of her waiting to see if he’d even spare her a glance. But the nurse closed the door gently behind them and she was left feeling stupid. Why did she expect anything at all? Shizune had moved to stand over Sasuke, waking him with a gentle shake. 

“Hey, sleepyhead. I told you to try to stay awake.” 

“Sorry. ‘m so tired.” Sasuke mumbled. 

“I know. This’ll just take a second and you can go back to sleep.” She passed green chakra over Sasuke, focusing especially over his head. The whole time, Shizune kept him talking which was a feat all on its own. Sasuke had warmed up to the woman so quickly. Watching them interact, a thought wormed its way into her brain. 

Naruto would be looked after while she was gone but what about Sasuke? 

He would have no one. No team, no family. She couldn’t trust Kakashi to look after him and she was afraid, so afraid, that with no one around Sasuke would become more like the person she saw earlier today. Full of blind rage and self destruction. He needed someone to guide him away from succumbing to his brother’s wishes. Maybe that person could be Shizune. 

Once she was sure there was no lingering effect from Itachi’s jutsu, Shizune tucked Sasuke in but before she could leave, he held on tight to her sleeve. No words passed between them but Shizune sat back on the bed and ran her fingers through Sasuke’s hair, lulling him to sleep. Sakura felt like an unwanted intruder and tried to look elsewhere until Sasuke’s breathing evened out. 

Shizune did her best not to disturb him as she got up to leave, passing Sakura’s bed on her way. “Good night, Sakura-chan.” 

“He likes you.” If she was going to do this, there was no point in wasting time. “He doesn’t like adults but he likes you.” 

“He’s very sweet. I like him too.” Shizune smiled. 

“He’s smart too. And works harder then anything. He’s only been studying medical ninjutsu for two months and he can already heal.” 

The dark haired woman studied Sakura for a moment. “Is that so?” 

“He taught himself how to heal.” She stressed. “Imagine how much further he could get with a mentor.” 

“That’s very impressive. I’ll see to it he gets accepted into the med-nin program here at the hospital.” 

“No!” Sakura all but shouted, not bothering to check if she’d woken the boy in question in favour of keeping her eyes locked with Shizune’s. “It has to be you. Please. He’s a versatile fighter too, did I mention that? He’ll pick up any fighting style you teach him.” 

“Why are you pushing so hard for this?” To her relief, Shizune sounded more curious then annoyed. Sakura fumbled for something to say that was believable enough to tell the woman but didn’t touch on the truth. 

The answer that came to her was both cruel and her only option. 

If Sakura could convince the dark haired woman that Kakashi was unfit to teach, there was a much better chance she’d decide that Sasuke would do better under her wing. To do so would require a web of lies, one she didn’t think she could spin in good conscious. Not after seeing her sensei so broken. She hated that it had taken such drastic measures for her to be reminded that, underneath it all, he was still a person. But one look at her teammate laying peacefully decided for her. Sasuke was her priority. It wasn’t hard to steel her heart for what came next. All she had to do was remember every interaction she’d had with Kakashi and the perfect lie fell in her lap. 

And though she knew he wasn’t there, she could feel snake eyes trained on her from the shadows of the room, watching in anticipation. 

“He needs someone reliable to teach him if he’s gonna go far.” Shizune’s brows furrowed just a bit and Sakura knew the bait was taken. 

“You’re the students of one of the most powerful men in Konoha. I don’t think you could find any one better.” 

“Really?” Sakura said in faux shock. “Guess its hard to tell how strong someone is when they never show up to training.” 

“Never?”

“Well, its more like he shows up hours late and reads his book while we find something to do so its like he’s not there at all.”

“Oh dear.” Shizune said with a frown.

“And those are the good days.” Sakura lowered her voice as she went for the final push. “You don’t think that was the first time we saw him lose it, do you?” She tried to stop the thrill filling her veins as Shizune’s gaze flickered over to Sasuke. This wasn’t supposed to be fun. She was actively trying to ruin Kakashi’s reputation. And yet there was a deep satisfaction when she could see Shizune’s eyes fill with mild horror at the implications of Sakura’s words. 

Was this really the only way she could have gone about making sure Sasuke was put into the hands of a competent mentor? No. It was equal parts petty and mean. But her teammates came first and she would do anything, say anything if it meant he was taken care of when she was gone. And as Kakashi shuffled back into the room and she caught the look Shizune shot him, she knew she’d been successful. Sakura was flying high on her victory. How easy it had been to say a few lies and get what she wanted. 

Deceit sat sweet on her tongue and she was addicted to the taste. 

“Sakura are you okay?” Kakashi’s voice brought her crashing back down. He was watching her with what she’d call worry if it wasn’t his face it was etched on. 

Her mouth opened and closed before she settled on a simple, “I’m fine.”

“Oh alright.” A beat. Then, “How was your month of training? Gai told me a bit about it. He said you were an excellent student.”

There was a forced lightness in his voice that didn’t escape her notice. Why was he striking up a conversation now of all times? She was curious enough to play along. 

“Gai-sensei was great. I learned a lot from him.” The jab was accidental but Kakashi cringed nonetheless. 

“Like what?” Sakura bit down her kneejerk reaction of asking why he cared. 

“It was a lot of stamina training.” She said. “Oh and I learned to dual wield swords.” 

He raised his eyebrows a touch. “Impressive.” 

“Not really. Didn’t help much against Gaara.” 

“Still. You picked up a difficult skill in such a short period. That’s something to be proud of.” It could barely be counted as praise yet it was enough to stun her into silence. 

She wasn’t sure if it was his tone, open and kind for once, or the reminder of the ever dwindling time she had left but the need to keep the conversation going overwhelmed her. She knew she was in the wrong headspace to talk to Kakashi and yet the air surrounding them reeked of finality. If this was the last chance for her to talk to Kakashi, what should she tell him?

“S-Sensei.” She stuttered over the title. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” Sakura stared down at her hands to steel her nerves, thinking carefully of how she wanted to phrase what she said next. The last time she’d confronted Kakashi was a disaster of hurt feelings for both parties. If she wanted a proper answer out of him, she had to stay calm. 

“I learned a lot these past four weeks but the most important thing I learned was that I have potential.” She said. “I have potential and I can’t stop thinking about how much stronger I’d be right now if you had seen it in me. I know I was weak and distracted at the start but once you wrote me off, you never looked twice at me.”

One moment of silence stretched into another and then another. When she finally looked his way, his gaze was already trained on her, eyes wide. His sharingan was out, she realized belatedly, the three tomoes spinning slowly as he studied her. When he still didn’t say anything, she broke eye contact to focus on her balled hands.

“Why didn’t you believe in me?” She whispered. 

“It’s not… I don’t…” He growled in frustration. She kept quiet as he gathered his thoughts. “I knew this would happen. I told him I wasn’t ready.” 

“Told who?” 

“Hiruzen.” She didn’t know Kakashi was close enough to the late Hokage to refer to him so casually. “I didn’t want to be a sensei and you three are proof of why I shouldn’t have been.”

“What do you mean? You’re great with the boys.”

Kakashi scoffed. “Am I? Those two motivate each other more then I ever could. I just don’t get in their way. But by doing that, I let them leave you behind and I wasn’t there to pick up the slack.” 

The prospect of him not being a bad sensei to her but a bad sensei in general gave her pause. A lot of her anger came from the belief that Kakashi was good to Naruto and Sasuke and he just didn’t think Sakura was worth training. It was awful but she couldn’t lie and say it didn’t ease some of her insecurities. 

“So you don’t hate me?” She asked, hating how vulnerable she sounded. 

“Of course not. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. You never talk to me. How am I supposed to know what you think about me? The one time I did tell you how I felt, you left for a month and told me to calm down.” 

Kakashi had the decency to look remorseful. “That was bad timing. Sasuke needed every minute of that month to learn the chidori. I couldn’t waste time.” 

“You wasted enough time to find Naruto a teacher.” 

“Naruto needed discipline and structure. I trusted you to be independent enough to keep up your training.” 

“What training?” She snapped. “What was I supposed to work on? The Academy katas?”

“You handled yourself well in the first round.” 

“No thanks to you.” She had no one but herself to blame for the tense silence that settled over them. Her plan to keep calm had gone out the window faster then she expected. This was her only chance to get some closure from this relationship and Sakura had blown it. The only reason she wasn’t leaving the room was because of her sore body and she was sure the same was true for Kakashi. 

“You’re right.” He said after what felt like an eternity. “You’re right. I tried to be like someone I wasn’t and you all suffered for it.” 

“Like your sensei?” Judging by the barely concealed surprise in his eyes, Sakura’s shot in the dark was right. “What were they like?” 

Kakashi went quiet once more though Sakura could see how his hands clenched into fists. Distantly, she found it funny they both shared the same habit of balling up their hands. She wondered if he did it to stop shaking like her or to ground himself from getting lost in thought. 

“He was…the best person I’ve ever met.” He said. “He had three students who, on paper, shouldn’t have worked and made them a team. He was kind and selfless and put everyone’s needs before his own.” 

If there was ever a moment for their relationship to take a turn for the better, for Kakashi to open up and Sakura to listen and understand where he was coming from, it would be now. If he wasn’t so damaged. If she wasn’t so burnt by him already. If only. 

But it was as she watched the same cautious optimism bloom in his eyes that the all too fresh memory of what she’d done not a few minutes ago came flooding back. How could she sit here and act friendly now when she’d all but stabbed him in the back? It was fine when she was hurting big, bad Sensei. If she smoothed things over with him now, what did that make her? It wasn’t a question she wanted to know the answer to. 

She could stand to be a monster so long as he remained far away from her heart. 

Before he could speak again, she wiggled down to lay on her side and fully turned herself away from him. “It’s late. Tsunade said we need to get rest.” 

She stared resolutely ahead at Sasuke’s sleeping figure and tried to ignore the black and red eyes watching her. She couldn’t stop her mind from imaging the hurt she was sure they held.

* * *

A demon appeared in the dead of night.

Sakura had been forcing herself to stay awake until Naruto returned. She was sure he’d come back. Jiraiya had only said they were going to collect his things. The Sannin hadn’t mentioned when they were leaving the village but she had to believe they wouldn’t without a proper goodbye. She needed it, for the sake of her sanity if nothing else. 

But hour after hour creeped by with no sign of either of them. Kakashi had fallen asleep after trying and failing to resume their previous conversation. The guilt had well and truly sunk in after the high had fizzled away, sealing her mouth shut until he had given up. 

So she passed the time alone. Well, as alone as she could be. Inner’s silent treatment had broken and the floodgates were open. 

_You know what? I’m kinda proud of you._ Inner said. _Didn’t think you had it in you. What do you think will happen to our dear old sensei? If it gets to the Hokage, he might get taken off active duty._ There was a sick glee in her voice that made Sakura shiver. 

Or maybe it was the reminder that the consequences of her actions could spread further then she’d intend. 

_Who are you pretending for? It’s not like you care and you won’t be around to see what happens anyway. You’re running away. Like a coward._

Irritation sparked bright at the attempt to start the old argument up but she ignored Inner in favour of gazing out the window. From where her bed was placed, she was too far from the window to see much. It was as good a time as any to stretch her muscles after laying down for so long. She tiptoed past Sasuke’s bed and pressed a hand on the cool window. She had been so distracted by training the past few weeks she hadn’t noticed the seasons slowly changing. 

The view wasn’t as nice as her old room where she had been able to watch the village from high above. This room was on the ground floor and the window faced a simple pathway that led up to the building. A path that was gradually being illuminated by a dull red light. 

Sakura had no time to process what was happening before a brilliant blur of crimson shot past. It quickly doubled back and pressed it’s face to the window, fog collecting from its heavy pants with one hand placed where her own rested on the other side.

At first, she thought Naruto was on fire. 

But fire wouldn’t change his eye colour from their familiar light blue to a deep blood red. It wouldn’t deepen and elongate the scars on his cheeks until they looked like whiskers. It wouldn’t give him claw-like nails, the ones he was using to scratch at the window. The high pitched screech it made sent goosebumps climbing up her arms. 

She knew what he wanted without a word spoken and worked at opening the window. Once it was just large enough, Naruto squeezed his way through and dropped to the floor on all fours. It was then she heard the near constant growl coming from him. 

“Burns.” He rasped out, scratching and tearing at his jumpsuit. “Make it stop.”

She willed her body not to succumb to shock and sank to her knees before Naruto. The heat he emitted was enough to make her wince but she refused to back away. Not when he needed her. Sakura racked her brain trying to think of something, anything to help her teammate. She’d only ever seen the Kyuubi’s energy while her Sensing was activated but now the malicious chakra was pouring out of Naruto, showing no signs of stopping. What had triggered this transformation, she didn’t know but it was the least of her worries. 

“Help him!” She didn’t need to turn around to know Kakashi was awake. 

“We need Jiraiya. Stay with him until I get back.” In one smooth motion, Kakashi leapt out the window and raced down the pathway. He was out of sight in the blink of an eye and she was left with a feral teammate. 

How long would it take Kakashi to find the Toad Sannin? Even a minute of watching Naruto writhe in pain on the floor was too much. She couldn’t bear to watch any longer. There had to be something she could do to stop his pain.

It was then that the words of Shukaku drifted through her mind. What was it he had said? He’d been afraid, not of her but of the mokuton she had created. That it would seal him. Could the mokuton be used as a seal for the Tailed Beasts? At the very least, it had seemed as though Gaara had been subdued for a little while when she had bound him with the wood. 

She had no time to second-guess herself, Naruto’s screams were getting louder by the moment. He howled and hit himself, blood dripping from his palms from where his nails had dug into his palms as he made a fist. 

“What’s happening?” She didn’t know when Sasuke had knelt beside her. She’d been too focused on syncing her chakra with Inner’s. It had been so easy in the forest, when they were of one mind, one goal. Now, fight after fight, it was as though their respective chakras could tell they didn’t want to cooperate.

“Work with me!” Sakura screamed in frustration, ignoring the startled look Sasuke sent her way. 

She could feel in her gut that the mokuton would be infinitely more difficult to produce this time around. Before when she had called on the power, she had been deep in a forest, surrounded by nature’s chakra on all sides. She was a channel for the forest to funnel its energy through. Now, she was alone and could only rely on herself.

_You’re not alone._ Her vision faded and all at once she could see Inner in their mindscape, kneeling like Sakura was. For a moment, when their eyes met, Inner’s eyes flashed a vibrant red before settling into their normal jade colour. An unspoken understanding passed between them. Naruto was more important then any disagreement they had. She could feel the moment their chakras held the perfect balance, the moment they became greater then the sum of their parts. 

She cupped Naruto’s face, gritting her teeth against the pain as her hands felt like they were bathed in flames at the contact and focused equal parts of water and earth to envelop him. Without prompting, Sasuke held down Naruto’s flailing limbs, giving her the much needed momentary peace to concentrate. The branches she created were wispy, but strong and flexible. They wound themselves around him, layering over top of each other until Sakura was tapped of chakra and panting from the effort. She took a moment to relish in her achievement. She’d done that. 

Haruno Sakura had created life from nothing and no one would ever be able to take that away from her. 

At first, it seemed nothing was happening with Naruto fighting and thrashing against the wood. But slowly, the Kyuubi’s chakra dissipated, the red light fading and plunging the room back into darkness. Naruto looked up at her, blue eyes lined with tears before they fluttered shut and he went limp in the branches’ hold. 

“Sakura.” Sasuke’s voice was barely a whisper but in the deafening quiet of the hospital room, it boomed in her ears. “What did you do?” 

Cold dread pooled in the pit of her stomach. Stupid stupid stupid. How could she be so stupid? She’d been so caught up in helping Naruto she’d exposed her abilities in front of a witness. Orochimaru’s idle comments from before now felt all too real. 

_We’re fucked now._ For once, Inner sounded serious as their thoughts spun and wove together at the ramifications if her teammate told anyone what she’d done. Images, each more terrifying then then the last, whirled in her head. Of being strapped down to a table, poked and prodded by blank faces. They’d never let her free, not if they thought there was a possibility she held the secret to the mokuton. 

“You can’t tell anyone.” Sakura began to pull at Naruto’s bindings in a desperate attempt to hide the evidence. The wood cut and dug into her palms but she didn’t stop until he was free. “Swear to me you won’t say anything.” 

“Where’d you learn that?” He pressed.

“Doesn’t matter. Forget what you saw.” They glared at each other for several long moments before Sasuke slowly nodded. He must know what it was she’d created. At least, the suspicion buried behind his black eyes said he did. But he didn’t breath another word. Not when she threw the wood out the window and jumped out herself. Not when she waved for him to join her.

Not when she asked him to burn it all to ash.

* * *

Kakashi arrived with Jiraiya and Gai as the smoulders of the fire winked out. After carrying Naruto onto one of the beds together with Sasuke, Sakura had been watching the blaze from inside the room. She told herself it was in case the fire spread and not to avoid speaking with Sasuke but she shouldn’t have bothered. Sasuke’s control was impeccable. The flames had only left behind scorch marks and all physical proof of her mokuton was destroyed. When the three men entered and saw a passed out boy instead of a rampaging jinchuuriki, they let out a collective sigh. 

“Well, look at that.” Jiraiya said, making his way over to Naruto. “Kid tire himself out or what?” 

“Basically.” Sakura tried to keep her voice even. “One second, he was covered in that chakra and the next he was asleep.”

“It was his first time accessing the Kyuubi’s power, right?” The Sannin looked to Kakashi to verify and got a brief nod in response. “It must have exhausted his body.” 

“Pervy Sage?” Naruto croaked. The quiet conversation seemed to have been enough to wake him. He propped himself up in bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

“Hey kid. You really gave us the slip there.” Jiraiya chuckled. Naruto’s brows furrowed.

“I did?” He looked around at his surroundings and caught sight of Sakura and Sasuke over Jiraiya’s shoulder. “When did we get back to the hospital?” 

“You don’t remember?” Kakashi asked. She noticed that he was leaning heavily against Gai, pale and trembling. It was clear he hadn’t recovered from his encounter with Itachi and had overexerted himself to find Jiraiya. 

“We were done packing my things.” Naruto said, each word coming out slowly as though he was reconstructing the memories as he spoke. “And we were walking and you said… you said we had to hurry because the border patrol was about to switch shifts and you didn’t want anyone to see us leave.”

“That’s when you lost it and ran away. What happened, kid?”

Naruto’s eyes went glassy and Sakura was by his side, gripping his hand tight before the first tears fell. “I don’t wanna go! I don’t wanna leave Sasuke and Sakura and Sensei and Ji-chan.” 

He dissolved into sobs and the sight broke her heart. Unlike her, Naruto had no choice in leaving Konoha. The decision was made for him. And while she knew it was the right choice, she hadn’t considered how awful this must be for Naruto. Naruto, the boy who had more love for Konoha then all the citizens combined. Who just lost the only person who had looked out for him when the people ostracized him. And who was now being forced to leave his team, his family behind. 

As he cried into her shoulder, Naruto looked every bit like a child being asked to leave his home he was. 

Sasuke had come up to the bed, ducking past Jiraiya to be on Naruto’s opposite side and tentatively held out his hand. Naruto took it and held fast onto his teammates. The men shared a look but said nothing, allowing this final moment between team 7. She tried not to think of how this could very well be the only proper farewell she’d be able to have. 

“You know, this isn’t goodbye forever.” She said. “Just goodbye for now.” 

“Dobe. You think we could forget you?” Sasuke placed two fingers to Naruto’s forehead and pushed slightly. “You’re too annoying for that.” 

Naruto laughed at that and it was music to her ears. “Promise?” 

“Promise.” They said together. 

“Maybe I could write letters? I’ll send one everyday.” Naruto said, wiping his eyes with the back of the hand linked to Sakura’s. 

“Maybe not everyday.” She said. “You’ll be busy training.”

“I can send you guys cool things! What should I get you?” 

“You should get Sasuke tomatoes from all the Nations.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes but the corner of lips quirked up. “I don’t like tomatoes that much.” 

“How about you, Sakura-chan?” 

“I’d love anything you get me, Naruto. Cause it came from you.” Every word cut her deeper but she couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. She wanted to live in the future Naruto wove so badly. It wasn’t hard to imagine. Waking up to a letter at her door. Naruto would write the same way he spoke, fast and all over the place. Inside would be a trinket from who knows where and she would smile because her friend gave it to her. She’d have a whole shelf dedicated to the odds and ends he had sent her over the years. She and Sasuke would compare their gifts and talk of what they’ll do when Naruto comes home. When he finally did return to Konoha, they’d look over them all together, laughing at the memories and feeling like they’d just seen each other yesterday. 

It was a beautiful dream, but a dream nonetheless. 

Jiraiya cleared his throat, cutting their conversation short. “It’s time.”

They somehow managed to stand as one without letting go of each others hands. She had a thousand more things she wanted to tell him but the lump in her throat kept them all within her. Instead, she dragged them into a three-way hug and felt reassured when she felt that she wasn’t the only one shaking. 

Naruto was the first to pull away and the three detangled from each other. One moment he was next to her and the next he was tackling Kakashi in a bear hug. Their sensei stiffened before kneeling down to give Naruto a proper hug. She could tell some words were murmured between them before Kakashi patted Naruto’s head and stood back up with Gai’s help. Jiraiya clapped Naruto on the shoulder and just like that, they were headed out the door. 

As Naruto walked out of the room and out of her life, Sakura didn’t blink once. Not to ease the sting or to clear her tears. She watched and memorized every detail she saw from his blonde locks that were overdue for a trim to his scuffed sandals. When he turned and gave them one last wide smile, she committed the image to memory and when she finally blinked, it shone bright against the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels really good to update after so long. These past few months have really forced me to change my perspective on this story and accept that it is a long term project. I hope there a few people who are in for the ride. This chapter was a lot of back to back feelings with no action and that really pushed me out of my comfort zone but there can't always be fighting. Sometimes you need to sit down and tell lies about your sensei. 
> 
> As always, comments are super appreciated! I've been alone with this chapter for so long I can't tell if its good anymore lmaoo.


End file.
